To the Awkward Couples: Junior Year Edition

As we begin a new year in college, I feel as though it is duly owed to every individual in the "young adult" population that I, once again, address the "awkward couples," as I like to call them.
So here it is. The first (and probably not last) awkward couple blog post of junior year. I actually don't think I posted one sophomore year, so this is ok.

I'm just going to share some tips for all of you who just radiate awkwardness in your relationships:

1. It's ok to hand-hold, but when hand-holding must be done to get to places like, say, the bathroom, there's an issue. I think you can let go for a second. Just a second. You'll be ok.
2. I wonder if you know that church is a place of worship, not cuddling. Yeah, that's right. I went there. Cuddling. Don't act like you don't know.. you know. When the Bible talks about "fellowship amongst believers," I guarantee that's not what it meant. 
3.  Specifically to the "first week of school couple" out there (you know who you are): make sure not to start naming your future children yet. 
4. Gazing into each others eyes is romantic in chick flicks, but when you switch the setting to reality and in a cafeteria, the romantic vibe just.. flees. I'm sorry, but meatloaf from the dining hall is just not "candle-light dinner" worthy.
5. Feeding each other. Just don't do it.
6. Always remember, there are other people in the room, too.. and you're making them uncomfortable. I'm glad you're happy, but it's not always about you and how happy you are. There are other people who exist in this world, and they too must breathe the same air and enjoy the same earth.
7. It's ok to not have a class together. I know you won't be able to pass cutesy notes back and forth while the teacher lectures on single celled organisms, but you will survive. Maybe you won't get to have thrilling study dates in the library (where you can continue to make more students feel awkward), but it will be ok. I promise it will. 
8. The longer you say goodbye before your class, the harder it will be. Just let go of those hands, bid adieu and learn about things other than your significant other's favorite type of taco.
9. Twitter is not the place to have extensive conversations back and forth about how much you love each other. It's good to love each other, just not over twitter.. for everyone to see.. and to be spammed by. It's just not fun to be spammed by other people's cupid-shot conversations.
10. As you loom awkwardly in the darkness, just remember, that I am an RA now.. and I'm gonna find you. Just kidding. But seriously. This post should express the extreme lack of appreciation I have for awkward couples... so don't go asking for trouble. I believe this warning was given fairly in advance.

That is all. For now.