#VBSlove

This week was Vacation Bible School at my home church, and it was a blast as always. I was the photographer & slideshow-maker this week, which was a great time.

I learned that there are three kinds of children in the world: 

1. ones that avoid being in pictures at all cost
2. ones that will not smile in pictures
3. ones that make extreme eye contact and smile endlessly, just in case you happen to snap their picture. 

All are fun experiences, because all provide a sense of challenge to the photographer's endeavors.
For the photo-haters, my goal is to see how many pictures I can get of them in which they do not refuse me angrily.
For the photo-frowners, the challenge is to get one, just one, happy picture of them. And cherish it.
For the photo-hoggers, I aim to see how many pictures I can get of them off-guard and unposed. This might be the most challenging of the three, but I think it can be accomplished if done with enough subtlety.

In all seriousness though, this week was such a blessing. The message of the gospel was preached, the kids had a great time and the volunteers all served God beautifully. Success! Now that the week is over, I really miss it. The squealing children, the catchy songs that never leave your head for the rest of your life (really, how does that even happen after one week?), the intense games, the cute crafts and the hilarious skits... but beyond all of that, the way children respond to the gospel. If there's one thing that makes my heart smile, it's children's innocence and ability to take God at His Word. I remember how easy it was as a child just to trust God, because He was God. Oh, how I long for the faith of a child again. To just take Jesus at His Word, because He is Jesus.
This week, I was reminded that children are a blessing.
They remind us of what life is really about- enjoying who God is and telling other people about it. They're so honest, fresh and free. No drama. No complications. Just simplicity and joy.
That's what I call beautiful.

Despite being exhausted and down this week (for no real reason), my heart was filled with love and joy because of everyone involved with VBS. You are all a blessing in my life! I am thankful to be a part of such an awesome church family, and hope to stay involved, God willing, for many years to come.

On another note, I was reading through #VBSprobs tweets on Twitter, and some of them are absolutely hysterical, so I just have to share some of these tweets:

‏@bellaiavarone 26 Jun

"Okay what else sounds like trinity?" "God" "Triangle" "Tranquilizer" #vbsprobs

@ElizabethErinn 20 Jun

Today, a 6 year old called me an "old maid" when she found out I was 21 and not married. #VBSprobs    <--- (this tweet is so relatable haha)

@youthgroupprobs 22 Mar

It's not VBS without the older men of the church attacking with their water guns when the kids go outside #VBSprobs

‏@build_a_BRIDGEE 24 Jul

Got attacked by these 3 kids for 10 minutes 😁 #VBSprobs 

‏@atbelcher27 19 Jul

Of course I'd be stuck with about 20 first graders when the power goes out. Oh, and did I mention they enjoy farting? #VBSprobs #stormprobs

@vmharris1995 18 Jul

"Can anyone tell me how God is in control of nature?" "I had three cats and they all got hit by cars and died." #VBSprobs

@KaciLeopold 27 Jun 12

Having VBS songs stuck in your head ALL THE TIME #vbsprobs

@jd_polk 6 Jun 12

"There is no dog heaven kids!!"-Me "Well where does my dog go?"-Little Girl "...........Hell"
#vbsprobs

@blairblckburn14 4 Jun 12

I officially have a boyfriend! His name is Wyatt and he asked me at 11 today! He's three...... #vbsprobs

@MaryEllaRogers 2 Jun 12

Having to make a grand canyon with just orange paper and paint #VBSprobs 

@KelsiHope_18 31 Mar 12

Having glue all over your hands so much that it peels off your nail polish and only comes off your hands with paint thinner... #VBSprobs

...Yup. All of these sound pretty legitimate. #VBSprobs

To the Talented and Planning Awkward Couple- Subco Edition

Oh, awkward couple who I saw while in line for a sub, I promised you a blog post because I did not just see you once, but twice in the span of three days being awkward (both times in the same place, might I add).
[In honor of you, I will scatter various pictures of awkward couples around this blog post].

Flower Power

Same awkwardness, same place, around the same time?
That, my awkward friends, takes talent to accomplish. Or maybe skillful planning.
Possibly a mixture of both.

Planned, talented awkward couple soup.

Adventure-seeking couple

Now, let's take a look at the planned and talent portions of the blog post:

PLANNED:
- Happening to somehow manage to be the exact amount of people in front of me in line (both times).
- Happening to be in line for the same meal both times at around the same time.
- Happening to partake of the same awkward actions both times:

• pinching each other and giggling (pain is so cute)
• rubbing each others sides (sometimes, if you rub their side just right, they might do a trick)
• poking noses (..they may as well throw in some baby talk too)
• stroking hair (I just have nothing to say about this)
• gazing into each others eyes (because what is more romantic than standing in line for a sandwich?)

World's Best Dad

TALENT:
- Happening to be equally awkward both times.
- Happening to be awkward enough to catch my attention both times.
- Happening to not let go of each others hands the entire time
(Seriously though, props to you, folks! That takes intense focus and extreme perseverance. It should be an Olympic sport...)
- Happening to be so awkward both times that you won yourself your very own blog post.

"Everything else is black and white, except for our bond."

So, couple, well done at achieving your own blog post!
You have accomplished both talent and excellent planning. Be proud. Be very proud.

Also, thank you for allowing me to take part in your special moments before I ate, and not after.

A Pepto Bismol Kind of Day

Today I had my second encounter with an awkward couple as an RA (which I suppose should be expected since Valentine's Day is just around the corner... and we all know that couples' awkwardness goes up about 80% in February).

Ok, disclaimer- I DO NOT HATE COUPLES. or Valentines Day. I know it may seem like that because of my frequent anti-awkward couple posts, but honestly, it's not the holiday, it's the people who make the holiday an Awko Taco experience.

Now, those of you who know me know that I already hold a deep disdain for awkward couples. All shapes and sizes of awkward couples.. I can't handle it.
They make me want to take some Pepto Bismol.
Nausea. Heartburn. Indigestion. Upset stomach. You know it goes.

See the face that lady is making? 
That's the face I make. But amplified. 
So anyway, I had my second encounter... Maybe I should just tell the story.
I'm honestly building this up way more than I need to....

I walk into the Annex lobby (already a trap) to wait for the rest of my RA group so that we may soon enjoy a nice peaceful dinner. I sit down onto the seemingly comfy couch, when actually, much to my dismay, I am about to feel extreme discomfort.
As I sit down, I hear giggling. Already a bad sign. As I slowly turn my head to the right, my heart nervous for what I'm about to witness (especially in the Annex lobby), there I see it.
A boy sprawled out onto the lap of a girl. Oh wait, there's more? She is rubbing his head and lulling him to rest. What is this? Really now? Lulling?
The giggling intensified and so did the nauseous feeling. and heartburn. and indigestion. 
More rubbing of head. More giggling. More "Oh dear, sweety, I need to do homework, stop distracting me.. hehehehe," along with some uncomfortable arm caressing.

This picture is pretty relevant. And accurate.

And then it hits me. I am an RA. Oh yes! I can stop this madness! Actually, I'm supposed to stop this madness because it's my job! HIZZAH! #perksofbeinganRA <-- you can tell I'm a twitter person.
So, I find within me the courage to go up and talk to these people.
As you can imagine, this was difficult for me. For those of you who can't imagine...

1. Because it's awkward to confront people you don't know
2. Because I already have an awkward-couple-complex
3. These people were REALLY awkward.

Thankfully, I conquered these fears because.. well.. I didn't feel like going to dinner with a nauseous stomach (especially since I didn't have any Pepto with me). 

"Excuse me," I said. Panic in their eyes. I decided it was a good idea to make this short and sweet.
"I'm an RA," I said quickly, sort of mumbling the last word. "You probably shouldn't be lying on each other." (I even used the proper form of "lie" ... grammar win!)

Needless to say, there was an extremely awkward moment for a good few seconds, lots of shifty eyes and uncomfortable coughs. Then they dramatically (and, you guessed it, awkwardly) jumped away from each other and apologetically concluded their awkward actions.
Moral of the story? Just don't be an awkward couple. You're not only making everyone else feel extremely uncomfortable, but also yourselves. Just say no.

Only you can prevent awkward couple encounters!

Such is the story of my second awkward couple encounter as an RA.

Every engagement needs MARMALADE

So, I've blogged about awkward couples, but what about the non-awkward couples?
Don't they deserve a blog post? I say yes, yes they do.

However, this post is specifically directed towards ENGAGED couples. Oh yes. Don't think you'd get out that easily. ENGAGED. Not dating, but not married. An odd spot in life, but apparently a very popular one since 90% of my Facebook friends lie in this category.

(Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any skewed statistics; I am simply bad at math. Hence the journalism major).

So, to the 90%, the 10% have something to say. Don't worry, this is not a criticizing post-- mostly just an inquiring post. So in this case, I suppose we don't have something to say, but rather to ask....

HOW ARE THERE SO MANY OF YOU?
Really though. It seems that some sort of epidemic has taken over all social media
and the symptoms involve 

1. diamonds
2. cover photo close-ups involving such diamonds
3. and maybe a picnic basket. 

YES, the picnic basket is a symptom, and it's filled with roses and jars of marmalade and maybe some lemonade in a jug. Oh, and maybe some bread because you need something to put the marmalade on.

The question is, do you find the diamond ring in the picnic basket and then realize you've caught the engagement or do you just see the picnic basket and know? OR is the trick ACTUALLY just in the marmalade? I mean, that's an important factor. Who can get married without marmalade? ONLY NO ONE.

Also, does Kay jewelers pay you for advertising your engagement on social networking sites? I mean, it doesn't really bother the rest of us, but I hope you are getting reimbursed for such a romantically dramatized expression on the world wide web. It would only be fair.
Is there glitter involved? In the proposal? Or buckets of confetti? Why has no one proposed via lite-brite?

I don't know about you, but I feel as though that would be a creative (and vintage) way to pop the question. Like "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" in this:

...There wouldn't have to be Mr. Potato Head there, but ya know. If there was some sort of significance about having the potato in the proposal, then by all means.... Mr. Potato away.

Anyway. Those are mostly my questions for you.
Please continue on, since you are probably busy smothering your bread with marmalade.

Another disclaimer: none of this is meant to be offensive. I'm sorry if your feelings are hurt because you really just love marmalade and Mr. Potato Head, and I will try to be more sensitive next time.



Keep being cute, engaged people! With all of your cover photos and picnic baskets!

Princess Heather and the Swinging Suitor

Last night, my best friend Heather couldn't sleep, so I decided to tell her a bedtime story via Facebook chat.
Below is the result. Enjoy!

"Princess Heather and the Swinging Suitor."

Once upon a time (cause every story has to start with that if it's going to end well) there was a beautiful princess named Heather.

Now Heather liked lots of things like flowers and pumpkin munchkins and anything that did not contain dairy products.

She loved music and dancing, and when she was alone she loved PR.

So one day, Heather decided to gather up all of her favorite things and make a song about it.

She decided it would also be useful to sing the song to a multitude of children during a thunderstorm.. and then eventually use the drapes to make them clothing. ("Sound of Music" reference).

While this seemed illogical, Heather decided it was worth the joy that she would bring these children.. and maybe it would bring her a wonderful prince, because everyone knows that princesses all eventually marry a prince... they don't marry anyone less noble. Unless it was Hugh Jackman. Who is a Duke. ("Kate and Leopold" reference).

So anyway, off Heather went, drape-clothed children, favorite things and all...

into the woods they roamed. Dancing and singing and playing with gnomes, until a giant possum emerged from the depths of the darkness.

 The giant possum made its way towards Princess Heather and the children as they stood frozen in their tracks, frightened and confused.

"Why is there a giant possum in the woods!" yelled one child. 

"And why is it dark? It's 2 o'clock in the afternoon!" yelled another.

 "Hush children," said the princess. "The louder you are the more likely the possum will eat you. Also, it's always dark in the forest." ("Anne of Green Gables" reference)

The children all held each others mouths shut since we all know children can't be quiet ever.

So... the possum approached... it's long, fanciful fangs dripping blood and it's eyes seeking satisfaction (for the possum was hungry and trees and bark just aren't satisfying).

Just when the children thought that they would be the solution to this possum's discontentment, Princess Heather saw a light. It was the light bulb above her head. 

She had a plan.

"I shall do my bird call and it shall emerge the birds into the woods!" "You have a bird call?" asked one of the lads. "Not yet," she replied, "But Snow White does this all the time. I know it will work."

"Question," said one of the frightened girls. 

"Why aren't the birds already in the woods? Why do they have to emerge?"

"Stop asking questions," Princess Heather replied, very irritated at the children's ignorance. "You're all nonsensical. I made you clothing out of drapes-- don't you trust me!"

This silenced the children, for she was right. She had never let them down before, and if Princess Heather wanted to emerge the birds, she would emerge them, especially since Snow White was her support in this matter.

The bird call she made was like none other... almost like a shrieking of sorts.

No movement.

"Why didn't it work!?" yelled little Alfred. "Hush. No nonsense," she replied.

And again she shrieked.. er, I mean called.

What happened next was not exactly what Heather expected.

Though birds did not emerge, something else did. Thump, thump, thump. 

Heather couldn't believe her eyes.

Not one, but two bears plopped themselves merrily towards the possum.

"We're saved!!!" yelled the children.

The two bears took quite a while to destroy the possum, not because they were incapable, but only because they could not agree on which would get the head and which would get the bottom.

Once a compromise was finally reached, the bears soon devoured the possum leaving only its tale, because no one likes cartilage.

"HOORAY!" yelled the children. But Heather stood speechless.

She knew there was more to this situation than met the eye. Actually, it was quite evident to the eye, but at this moment everyone was blinded by the fact that the two larger bears just devoured their smaller enemy.

"Stop! There's a bigger problem here, children! Grab your drapes... these bears are still hungry."

This comment caused all of the children to shriek... bringing more bears. Goldilocks was relieved.

So, everyone was surrounded.

There was no hope.

But what's this? A gentleman swinging from trees? This confused Princess Heather, because normally gentlemen don't swing from trees, especially when they're wearing suit coats with tales.

The bears recklessly strained their necks to see what all the commotion was about above them, causing some of their heads to snap off of their bodies.

This resolved some of the bear-problem, but yet some of the smarter bears simply tilted their heads carefully and remained alive.

The gentleman swung and he swung.. and yet he swung more until he reached a high branch, unreachable to the ferocious beasts.

There were only four bears left at this point, leaving the suited man with a few more options than before.

Princess Heather knew she had to do something to divert the attention from the man, so... she did the first thing that came to her mind.

She danced.

She danced and she danced, the draperies swinging about merrily.

Then something magical happened:

Not only did the children begin to dance, but so did the bears.

Not only did the bears begin to dance, but so did the possum (and the possum was dead, so this was magical indeed).

Not only did the possum begin to dance, but so did the birds (who had refused to come because they don't respond to shrieking).

Not only did the birds begin to dance, but so did the trees and the rivers and the ants and even some of the skunks (who like to frighten women who stick their heads in their cages). (Youtube video, "Killer Karaoke" reference).

Princess Heather paused a moment in her dancing endeavors and watched the motions of the forest.

The entire forest had erupted into dance. Bears dancing with children and children dancing with skunks. The Creator would be pleased to see his creation as He intended it.

The gentleman looked from above, his suit coat swaying in the breeze, the sweat dripping from his dark brow and his eyes sparkling in the sunlight.

"This woman. She is ravishing."

As he peered from the trees, admiring her beauty and elegant dance, he decided he would marry her if it was the last thing he did.

But first, he must not miss out on this dance, because no gentleman misses a ball.

Arms spread majestically, he dove into the dancing forest and landed into a pile of leaves doing a jig as well.

It tickled a bit so he was forced to giggle but then he composed himself, because we all know that gentlemen don't giggle.

(except for Andrew)

The man quickly brought himself to his feet and pushed through the dancing crowd of forest friend, struggling to find the dancing queen, young and sweet only 17. But he was mistaken because she was 20.

Finally he reached her.. the woman of his dreams.. her light brown hair blowing in the wind and her big blue eyes sparkling with relief. "Miss! May I have this dance!"

She was astonished. She couldn't believe her ears. Who was this suited stranger who had come to rescue her? Why was he now seeking a dance? She shrugged. "Oh well," she thought, "He's charming and handsome, and I'm young, beautiful and can make clothing quite creatively."

So they danced.

And danced.

The bears still dancing, the children still dancing, the skunk still dancing... the forest dancing.

But all of this seemed to be nonexistent as the two shared their dance. All they saw was the trees, hanging like a canopy above their heads.

Amidst the dance, however, Princess Heather, the PR in her arising, remembered that once the dancing ended, so would their lives (for the bears were still hungry and their appetite would only increase due to intense dance).

"Stop," she whispered to the man. "We must take the children and leave. I am hungry, and if I am hungry the bears are hungry and if the bears are hungry we will no longer be hungry because we will no longer be."

The man was slightly lost, but decided that Heather was too beautiful to argue with. So he grabbed her hand along with all of the children's hands (I'm not sure how managed to hold all of their hands at once, but gentlemen find ways) and they sneaked out of the dancing gang, past the bears, through the woods and up to a mountain.

"Let's get married!" he shouted victoriously. "OK!" she yelled, staring into his dark, melancholy eyes.

"Wait! But what about the children?!"

She stopped abruptly.

"The children? Well they have drapes, isn't that enough?"

She was offended by this comment and he knew it, so he quickly came up with a solution.

"Let's send them to a convent and they can all become nuns!"

"But the majority of them are boys," she said logically.

"They can become monks then!"

This seemed reasonable to Princess Heather.

So off they sent the children, each to their convent and monastery.

And the gentleman, whose name is unknown to the public, and Princess Heather lived happily ever after as they skipped through the mountains singing joyous melodies about climbing mountains and yodeling peddlers.

The End. 

The Adventures of Having Curly Hair

If you have curly hair, know someone with curly or have seen a random stranger with curly hair,
this blog post is for you.
 
The purpose of this post?
For those will curly hair: to empathize with, to share a heart-to-heart and to simply bond with.
For those acquainted with a curly-haired individual: to help you understand your friends better, to give you further detail into methods in which you may assist your friends and to help you to appreciate your hair.
For everybody else who has seen curly hair: to inform you on this topic (since you obviously need further information about it), to provide an anthropological analysis on the curly-haired population and simply to entertain you (cause who doesn't find other people's problems funny?)

If you reside within the first category of individuals reading this post, you may be asking yourself "Am I the only one who has such interesting experiences due to my untamed hair?"
I am here to tell you: no. No you are not.
If you find yourself in the latter two categories, maybe you're asking yourself, "What is it like to experience such craziness?"
I am here to further develop your understanding and to culturally enrich your senses.

Now, let's dive into our fine specimen of a topic.

It is a known fact, that curly hair contains some sort of magnetic component which forces food and drink to leap onto the hair, tangling itself within the web of curls. The case usually grows with the growing of the hair- the longer the hair, the more magnetic the bond between the hair and the food.
Example: Eating bread usually results in a mass amount of crumbs residing within the hair. Eating soup usually results in drippings of liquid on the tips of the hair. Eating bananas usually results in bananas just hanging out in the hair.
To the curly-haired individual: When eating, please tie your hair up. It will prevent any magnetic forces from publicly humiliating you, conquering your ego or simply just dirtying your hair.
To the friend: If your curly-haired friend has forgotten some sort of hair-tying contraption, please resort to holding your friend's swirly locks back for them as they attempt to eat their meal. Otherwise, simply keep an eye on them as they dig into their nutritious (I should hope) dish.
To the random by-stander: Have a video camera ready (this may apply for the friend as well).

Only a rainy day, the adventures dramatically increase. It is common knowledge that rain holds a life-long grudge against curly hair. If it rains, curly hair will pay. How? The beautiful term "frizz" comes to mind. Why? Because rain can. Rain thinks to itself, "This girl has curly hair.. how about we multiply her curls into millions of little, unattractive curls that make her look like a lioness on the prowl? What a brilliant idea, self!"
To the curly-haired individual: I am sorry. The only advice I can think to bestow upon you is LOTS of gel. Or mousse. And just don't waste your time straightening your hair. Umbrellas do nothing. Hoods can work if squeezed tightly around head, creating the whole "hoodlum effect."
To the friend: Be kind to your friend and don't laugh at them in a public place. We realize our hair is uncontrollably large and extra curly and do not need to be informed. Also, if you have a hat on hand or some sort of... disguise (for your friend), you know what to do.
To the random by-stander: Be gracious and don't judge. It's not just a bad hair day- it's a rain day. Nothing could be done, and your understanding would be greatly appreciated.

The curly-haired individual does not manage their hair; the curly-haired individual is managed BY their hair. Everyday is different. Some days the hair decides that it will appease its owner and look presentable, while other days result in tears and frustration.. and eventually a pony-tail. People wonder why women are moody.. well, when your hair is bipolar, that tends to influence a woman. The hair has a mind of its own. It curls. It waves. It flattens. It poofs. It frizzes. It flips awkwardly. It falls nicely. It just falls. It plops. It gets stuck on facial features (noses, ears, eyebrows, lips.. etc).
Curly hair does what it wants and it won't be told otherwise.

I'm sure there's more to be said about curly hair... but I'm tired, so this is ending.
Goodnight, curly-haired and straight-haired folks alike! Let us all live peaceably with our differences!

To the Awkward Couples: Junior Year Edition

As we begin a new year in college, I feel as though it is duly owed to every individual in the "young adult" population that I, once again, address the "awkward couples," as I like to call them.
So here it is. The first (and probably not last) awkward couple blog post of junior year. I actually don't think I posted one sophomore year, so this is ok.

I'm just going to share some tips for all of you who just radiate awkwardness in your relationships:

1. It's ok to hand-hold, but when hand-holding must be done to get to places like, say, the bathroom, there's an issue. I think you can let go for a second. Just a second. You'll be ok.
2. I wonder if you know that church is a place of worship, not cuddling. Yeah, that's right. I went there. Cuddling. Don't act like you don't know.. you know. When the Bible talks about "fellowship amongst believers," I guarantee that's not what it meant. 
3.  Specifically to the "first week of school couple" out there (you know who you are): make sure not to start naming your future children yet. 
4. Gazing into each others eyes is romantic in chick flicks, but when you switch the setting to reality and in a cafeteria, the romantic vibe just.. flees. I'm sorry, but meatloaf from the dining hall is just not "candle-light dinner" worthy.
5. Feeding each other. Just don't do it.
6. Always remember, there are other people in the room, too.. and you're making them uncomfortable. I'm glad you're happy, but it's not always about you and how happy you are. There are other people who exist in this world, and they too must breathe the same air and enjoy the same earth.
7. It's ok to not have a class together. I know you won't be able to pass cutesy notes back and forth while the teacher lectures on single celled organisms, but you will survive. Maybe you won't get to have thrilling study dates in the library (where you can continue to make more students feel awkward), but it will be ok. I promise it will. 
8. The longer you say goodbye before your class, the harder it will be. Just let go of those hands, bid adieu and learn about things other than your significant other's favorite type of taco.
9. Twitter is not the place to have extensive conversations back and forth about how much you love each other. It's good to love each other, just not over twitter.. for everyone to see.. and to be spammed by. It's just not fun to be spammed by other people's cupid-shot conversations.
10. As you loom awkwardly in the darkness, just remember, that I am an RA now.. and I'm gonna find you. Just kidding. But seriously. This post should express the extreme lack of appreciation I have for awkward couples... so don't go asking for trouble. I believe this warning was given fairly in advance.

That is all. For now.

The Day that I Was Scammed

Scams. They're sort of like scabs, but more gross.

Today I went to an interview for what seemed to be a legitimate job. To some, maybe it is a legitimate job. Hey, maybe I'm the loser for even going to the interview. Thankfully, every moment is a teachable moment. What did the moment teach me? Sales people are GOOD at what they do. Very good. I also learned that Sales is not my calling and never will be (no matter how convincing I can be).

I should have sensed this was a little sketchy by the letter I got telling me to call them for more information, but sometimes your hopefulness clouds your intuition. So, off I went to the headquarters with the sketchy letter (how did they get my address?.. I still have yet to know..) in hand, ready to tackle whatever job God was bringing my way. As I walked into the office, everything seemed pretty normal..
they had normal employees (I think?),
there were chairs and a table (must be a real office, right?)
and most people were dressed professionally.
 I went in for the first part of the interview which was with this guy (maybe a manager? maybe not?) and another interviewee. He asked us some questions and then sent us on to the "second interview" which was to be a group interview. We sat, pretty awkwardly, might I add, and time was passing slowly. And by slow, I mean turtle slow. The manager (?) came back into the room with those of us who were naive enough to remain for the remainder of the interview.

Then he talked.
And he talked.
And then he asked us questions we didn't know.
And then we answered.. to which he usually responded with "No. Actually..." and the proceeded to repeat what we had already said.  

Everything he said was vague, yet intriguing.
Simple, yet highly complicated.
Friendly, yet uncomfortable.
Nothing really was explained, nor was anything really confirmed.

After this 2 hour interview (yes... I sat there listening to this man drone on for 2 hours), the man handed us applications. One of the guys next to me then decided it was appropriate to crumple up the application, throw it on the ground and walk out angrily (that should have been my cue), to which the manager (?) responded, "Does anyone else feel the need to crumple up their application and leave?" ... At this point, the manager/salesman had us spun pretty tight in his web, pulling us closer to his fangs and plotting how we might be devoured. Just kidding. That's dramatic. Needless to say, we bought it. It seemed legitimate.. I mean, who wouldn't want to go into strangers houses to sell kitchen knives? So, we all eagerly filled out the application (why was I so eager? I'm telling you.. these guys are GOOD), scribbling down the best of the best suck-up information, waiting to be brought in for our one-on-one portion of the interview where we would be told whether or not we got the job.
Then I heard my name. It was my turn to go in.

"Obviously we cannot offer everyone this job," began the spider.. I mean.. man. He slowly read through my information, reeling me in closer into the center of the web.
"If I were to offer you this job, on a scale of 1-10, how excited would you be?" he asked me.
"Um.. an 8?" I ventured to say. And then I asked God to forgive me for lying.
"Why an 8?" he asked.
"Well.. I would be excited to receive a job, but I also would like to think about it."
At this point, he noticed I was starting to become a little wary of it all.
"Well," he continued quickly, "I can see from your information that you are a hard worker and would do a great job at this position. I would like to welcome you to the team! Training (which would be 3 days, 5 hours each day and unpaid, might I add) begins tomorrow!" He then shook my hand as I blurted out a quick "thank you" without really thinking about what just happened.

May I please point out that he did not tell me that they would "like to offer me a position" nor did he ask me "whether or not I would be pleased to accept the position." As I walked out of the office, up the stairs and back to the car, I just realized what had happened. I had spent two hours in an interview only to be conned into accepting a position at a company whose product was legitimate, but whose methods were slimy.

Needless to say, I am not going to the training, and I will not be selling knives in stranger's homes.
While it was quite a waste of my life, I did learn. After experiencing falling for a scam first-hand, I can tell you that my naivety level and trust for unknown employers went way down.

What a day. My first encounter with a con-artist. A day to remember.

The Squeaky, Crooked Third Wheel

Wow. It seems that couples are blooming like cherry blossoms in the spring.
They just seem to be popping out of no where, catching all of us by surprise, their hair blowing in the wind as they frolic to class hand-in-hand.
Sounds like a good old fashioned chick flick.
There must have been a time in your life when you too felt like the third, slightly crooked, squeaky wheel. It happens. It also inspires me to write a fictional nonsensical short story.
By George I think I will.


The Squeaky Third Wheel
By: Daisy Wolf

Once upon a time (classic beginning) there was a sad wheel. This wheel did not seem to fit on its said vehicle, but rather seemed to feel quite lonely and out of place. Billy (let us refer to this third wheel as Billy to create more clarity throughout this story) often found himself staring at the other two wheels wondering why they got along so well together and why he, to put it quite frankly, did not. It was not that Billy did not enjoy being a wheel, but on the contrary he normally loved his job and actually found it quite fulfilling. However, Billy suffered from being slightly squeaky and more than slightly crooked, terribly disturbing the other two wheels whom he worked with.

At first the two wheels pretended not to notice the obnoxious sounds coming from his motion. They even attempted to overlook his crooked structure which occasionally hindered them from completing their required jobs. Unfortunately, after a while the two wheels could not stand Billy any longer. "You have no purpose!" hollered one wheel. "You are annoying and out of place!" continued the other. If the two wheels could have exchanged high-fives after their cutting words, they would have, but we all know that wheels do not have hands. The two wheels stabs affected Billy quite harshly, and he felt his little wheel heart break. "They are right," Billy sadly thought to himself, "I am pathetic and useless."

At this discouragement, Billy decided there was no reason for him to turn anymore (since wheels one job is to turn, advancing whatever vehicle they work for into the direction they must go). The two wheels scoffed at Billy, telling him that it would be better for their vehicle that way. So Billy sat, and he sat, and he sat some more, moping in a way that he never had before. The more Billy sat, the more the two wheels realized that it was very difficult to move the vehicle on their own. Finally, a little being wobbled awkwardly to the vehicle, its legs chubby and miniature. "We have a user of our vehicle!" cried one of the wheels. So the two wheels prepared themselves for the job ahead of helping the child move its vehicle.

However, when the little one got on board and the two wheels began their efforts to turn, they realized that the weight was too much for them to bear. "Billy," one wheel quietly chimed in, "Could you turn just a little bit?" Billy pondered. "But I thought I have no purpose?" he whispered sadly. The two wheels, embarrassed by their past words conversed together over how to encourage Billy to help again. "Billy, we need your help. This child will never get to its playground in time if we do not help its vehicle move. You are the front wheel on this vehicle and we need you. We are not a tricycle without you." Billy beamed with excitement at their words and immediately began to turn.

Off the child went to his joyful destination, riding bravely, the wind blowing his little curls. Yes, the tricycle took him there, but the wheels moved the tricycle, and Billy was one of those wheels.

The End



Disclaimer: This story is not based on a true story but is indeed fictional.

A blog about something.. or nothing.

There exists no particular reason as to why I am writing right now, since there is nothing specifically on my mind (but who knows what may subconsciously come out through my fingertips into the world wide web), except that I had a major test and refuse to do homework until I absolutely am required to.
I currently have nothing specifically due tomorrow, so when I do decide to begin an assignment, I will feel extra productive since it's not required. Until that moment, I am dawdling. Why? Because it is these precious moments of brief freedom which we college students must grasp hold of to simply step back and enjoy life for one slight moment. So here I am... just stepping back and enjoying. Rare moment in life indeed.
So what should I write about in my moment of freedom? Whatever I feel like writing about, fiddly snap! Oh the beauty of a personal blog.. the one place you can just ramble and no one can complain, because no one is forcing them to read (or listen, in some situations).

I don't think I shared my embarrassing moments as of late, now have I? Well, unfortunately one is slightly too awkward for the internet (but I will probably tell you if you ask me in private, so go for it). Other awkward moments? Ok well, let me give a brief background first....

So you know those pesky 8:50 a.m. classes, specifically the ones that have tests in them? Well, say I were to, oh I don't know, unknowingly sleep through my alarm for about an hour and wake up at 8:45 a.m.? Yes. It's true. This happened to me a few days ago. You're probably wondering what happened. That's funny, because I can tell you. After waking up abruptly, gasping for air as I realized I just woke up five minutes before a big test, I literally threw on clothing that weren't pajamas (since unfortunately, pajamas are simply frowned upon in a classroom environment these days), and ran, yes, literally RAN, to class (backpack flopping around and all). What time did I arrive at class? 8:52. I have no clue how this possibly happened other than maybe God stopped time or just made it go by obnoxiously slowly, but it did. The teacher hadn't even passed out the tests yet. It was fantastic.

However, when you wake up that way, your entire day is thrown out of whack and thrown into a twilight zone that you didn't know actually existed on earth. Well, I'm here to tell you that it does exist. While in this twilight zone, magical, strange experiences happen. Just kidding, they're not magical.. but I'm not exaggerating about them being strange... because they are. Somehow one trips extensively in front of everyone around, but mostly in front of those of the male species (because that's usually how it happens). One's filter also is completely stripped away, allowing your mouth to run before your brain has time to function. For instance, when a teacher asks a question, one's first response in a college classroom would not normally be, "Because she peed herself." Yes, indeed. I did say that in public, and then immediately was horrified (my eyes probably opening so wide they would soon fall out of my head). Good times. Good times, indeed. Don't worry, I received many bewildered expressions from my classmates.

So that's just a tidbit about my life and my skill of being an embarrassing person.

Until another day.
(God bless)