Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Cherishing Children

Children. Misunderstood and underrated.

This summer, I have realized how completely clueless adults are with children. So many teens and adults talk down to children as if they "can't possibly understand," leaving the kids believing that it's true. Kids are often shoved under the rug, or on the flip side, completely left to do whatever it is they want to do, without any protection or teaching.

I'm no parent, so I'm not really talking about raising children (and don't really have a right to). I'm mostly thinking of adults in general. Teachers, leaders, how adults treat random children in public, etc.

How often we forget that these children will one day be adults, and in their adulthood, they will carry with them the lessons that WE have taught them. They will remember the way they were treated and they will reflect it on the other people in their lives. People wonder why children fear adulthood and "never want to grow up"? It's because they fear us. They fear who they might become and what love for life they might lose. These little humans watch our every move, crave our affection and just want somebody to be proud of them. They want to look forward to adulthood, and that can only happen if they are given a reason to look forward. If they have seen adults who appreciate life and appreciate them, they have been given hope for their future.

You know all those discourteous and insensitive adults in your life? The ones who cut you in line and yell at their cashiers? They were children once, and something or someone in their life told them that acting like that was ok. Some may have suffered belittlement as children, and as a result, feel that it is their time to belittle others. Some may have never been taught to "do to others as you would have them do to you," and as a result, see the world as their throne. Whatever the reason, they were impacted in some way as a child, and now they have graduated from unruly child to unruly adult. From bitter child to bitter adult.

Think back to your childhood. For me, I longed for the affections of those that were older than me. I admired them, I mimicked them and I wanted them to be proud of me. Everything I did in public, I did for some sort of sense of approval.  I think of all the adults in my life growing up....

Parents. I was blessed to have parents who encouraged me in my endeavors and who disciplined me when I needed to be corrected. I wouldn't have believed in myself, understood right from wrong or learned to really see and love other people if it weren't for the instruction of my incredible parents.
Teachers. Oh the teachers I've had in my life. I've had good ones, I've had great ones and you can better believe I've had bad ones. In elementary, I had some teachers who so favored the "popular," "pretty" children that I found myself believing that I was worthless. Those same teachers made me dread school, hate learning and despise who I was and what I was not. Then, I had some fantastic teachers who taught me lessons I've never forgotten, encouraged me when no one else would and showed me who I could be if I allowed it. They saw me as more than "just a kid," corrected my negative traits so that I indeed recognize them as negative, and took the time to help cultivate the positive traits I did have. My teachers have been some of the most influential people in my life. The bad and the good. The horrible and the fantastic.
My friend's parents. This is sort of a weird one, but my friend's parents did in fact have an influence on me.  I had some friends whose parents appreciated my friendship in their child's life, which in turn, encouraged me to be a better friend and take responsibility for my actions. And then there were some parents who looked down on me, seeing me to be unworthy of befriending their child. When I was in 3rd grade, I was told once by my friend's parent that I "made her sick to her stomach when she saw me" because of my "bad attitude." I don't think adults understand the toll that takes on a child. "Am I really that disgusting?" I would ask myself. "Is her daughter really that superior to me?" I still fight to release any bitter feelings towards those type of parents, and sometimes I still ask those same questions. I'm not saying it's their fault, but I am saying that it has influenced the fact that those questions even creep into my mind.

Those are just a few adults that played key roles in my lives, but good and bad, they all have something in common. I remember them, and I think of them from time to time.

All I know is, I do NOT want to be one of "the horrible" adults in any child's life. I would much rather be that adult who, years later, they still positively remember and cherish. Even in the correction and discipline, what they should remember about us is that we CARED enough to correct them. That we LOVED them enough to build them up.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

The Room

As I sit in my bedroom at home, its history haunts me, reminding me of who I've been and how God has changed me. I remember when I moved into this room-- eight years old and completely unaware of the utterly different, yet curiously similar girl that would sleep in the room thirteen years later.
The pictures on the wall have hung there for about nine years, some for longer and some shorter.
On the wall to the left of my closet hangs the wolf poster I designed in 6th grade (that was the class project that sparked my love for the crazy beasts) and a variety of other wolf pictures. To some, it may be an odd fascination, but I love wolves, nonetheless. Another glimpse of the nerdy-self.

The figures on my dresser have collected there over the years, my 1st grade softball trophy being the oldest member of the collection. On one side of my mirror hangs my kindergarten graduation tassel, and on the other side hangs my high school graduation cap.
The miniature piano music box given to me by my piano teacher of eight years sits on the dresser as well, and I remember the many frustrating, yet absolutely incredible years of piano lessons. I think of how my piano teacher didn't just teach me how to play an instrument but how to live a song. She always reminded me of why I should play and Who I should play for, and I haven't forgotten.

Each poster and picture on the wall has a memory and a background. In high school, I hung the 1 Peter 3:3-4 poster above my mirror to daily remind myself of the beauty that lasts in life. Pictures of my family all around my room, because I am blessed by them. Pictures of childhood friends scattered here and there, whether I'm still friends with those folks or not. Why I do keep the pictures? To remind me that friends come and go, but the LORD remains. Posters of childhood fandom and adulthood realizations, Bible verses that have especially made a difference in crucial points in my life and things with memories. I hung John 14:27 at the end of my bed during the times of consecutive nightmares, and it reminds me every night of the peace in Jesus Christ.

The bookshelf that holds many of my favorite classics and even more of my unread, literature goals. I haven't conquered the whole mini-library yet, but someday it will happen (although the books constantly seem to multiply). Books from my childhood sit up there-- the ones that sparked my love for story-telling.

The memory chest is a newer addition to my room, but one of my favorite parts of it. When we found it in the attic, I knew it would be in my life for a while. No matter how unexciting or unenchanting it's outward appearance may be, it's inward contents are priceless. Old journals, even older pictures, little artifacts that remind me of the people that have come and gone through my life, glimpses of myself from the past and dreams for myself in the future. Few secrets, but many stories.

Such a little room, yet so much history of my small life.

This summer, I plan to move to my sister's old room.
Maybe it's for the extra space. Maybe it's for the change. Maybe it's for both.
Maybe it's to remind myself that a room with a past does not define me.
It will be hard to say goodbye to this room, but it will always be my room.
No one knows it like I do.

It's time to move on.


Sunday, March 10, 2013

Fresh Eyes

I met my nephew today, and it was more incredible than I anticipated.

I remember when my sister used to dream of the day she would find the man God wanted her to be with. I remember when she watched her friends getting married and having children, and I remember seeing that longing in her.
Now it's here.
God has blessed her with an awesome husband and a beautiful baby boy.

I don't think I've been happier for anyone in my entire life.
I don't think I have ever loved a baby this much in my entire life, either.

Today, I held Kyle, and he looked up at me in all of his innocence, soaking in the world around him.
I wonder what he sees when he sees the world?

I don't know what he's thinking, but I know that I'm thinking that I serve a powerful and beautiful God who forms the most incredible beings and creatures. I serve a God who hand-makes humans to be unique and individual. There is no other copy of this Kyle. There is no other me. There is no other you.

As he looked up at me, straining to keep his eyes open, my heart worshipped God. I don't think I really even knew it at the time fully, but it happened. I was in awe at this new human. It's not like I've never seen a baby before, but I don't know. This is different. It's my sister's son... and he's here.
Sometimes, the Lord's provision has nothing to do with finances, health or safety.
Sometimes, the Lord provides people. 


Sometimes, the Lord provides little people to tug at your heart and make you thankful for life.
Sometimes, the Lord provides innocence and beauty.
Fresh eyes.

Thankfulness for the past. Appreciation of the present.
Hope for the future.

How do newborns spark this sort of awakening?

All I know is that God is a good God and that amidst a world of chaos and darkness, He provides peace and light.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Baby Kyle, minus the full beard.

As of February 28th, I am an aunt (not pronounced like the insect).

Basically, I cannot contain my excitement and generally tell everyone I see. I don't know half of them (well.... I do now. Even the lady who works at the dining hall... We're friends now, and she asks to see pictures of the little tyke).

My sister, Grace, texted me every now and then on Wednesday, updating me on her current "situation." (I will avoid details for your own sake). As the afternoon approached, so did baby's arrival. Grace texted me with a "Pray for me. Kurt's taking me to the hospital." 
Of course, I was restless from that point on.
School work? Yeah whatever.

Around 9:30 p.m., text updates from my mom begin to filter in.
"Grace is doing breathing exercises."
"Grace is now walking a little bit in the hallway with Kurt upon the doctor's instructions."
"...We have to go to the waiting room now." (which was the cue that the time was approaching)

It was around this time that I started to get really sad that I couldn't be there with my sister. Her life is changing forever, and I'm here at school. Eating peanut butter and writing articles about the housing industry. I guess that's life sometimes.

The night went on, and my focus was officially wounded. It hasn't fully recovered since then.

I attempted to get to bed around 1:30 a.m. Thursday morning (to no avail). Prayers for my sister and the baby were all that were going through my mind... and for Kurt too. I mean, I can't imagine how traumatizing this must be for a husband... I don't really want to know right now.
Due to my restlessness, I decided I would scroll through my non-phone iPhone (I'll explain this to you sometime) and see if the social media world could distract me.
What happened next will probably go down in the history books of our family.
Here is the exact Facebook message from my cousin Simon (who is also away at college):
Simon: "GRACE HAD THE BABY!?!?!"
Me: "She's in labor right now!!"
Simon: "DETAILS."
Me: *details*
Simon: "I wonder if she's going crazy right now...."
Simon: "Get on skype! Let's share our excitement!"
Me: "hahah no I should be sleeping."
Simon: "SKYPE ME.
HOW OFTEN CAN WE SKYPE WHILE GRACE IS IN LABOR?
YOLO."

Yes. He said "YOLO."

So I gave in. And I'm so thankful I did.
Now Simon and I can tell little Kyle that though we could not see him in his first few hours of life, we did in fact have a 2 a.m. Skype conversation about his entrance into the world.
I also have the quotes saved to prove our subtle involvement in this situation....
Simon: "What's his name going to be?"
Me: "Kyle Alden ....."
Simon: "Kyle Alden ..... ? That's the whitest name I've ever heard."
Disclaimer: Simon is half German.
Me: BABYY! BABBBBBYYY!!!
Simon: "You're not even having the baby. Grace is, and you're crazier than she is."

Me: *typing really quickly to document all of Simon's hilarious quotes*
Simon: “All I can hear is you typing. It’s like you're giving birth through the keyboard.”

Me: *whispering into the webcam* “THE BABY IS COMING”
Simon: “Well now I’m going to have nightmares."

Simon: "What do you think the baby’s favorite food will be? Something white people like.. like cabbage or carrots or something gross."
Simon: “He’s born on my mom’s birthday!!! …. They should name him Stephanie. It's only fair.”
Me: "I'm glad we're Skyping during this so we can commiserate together about not being there."
Simon: “Well yeah.. how often does Grace give birth? What.. like maybe.. one more time?”

Simon: "It's going to be a gigantic baby... did you see how big Grace was?! He's going to come out like 30 years old and be like... *deep voice* 'Hey, mom.'"
Me: "Yeah... like 'Hey, mom. I have a beard.'"
Simon: "Instead of being one of those babies with a full head of hair, it's going to be one with a full beard."

Simon and me randomly in unison: "THE BABIES ARE COMING! THE BABIES ARE COMING!"
Disclaimer: this was unplanned
*Explanation: our own rendition of "the British are coming!" ... in case you couldn't figure that out
 

Simon: *deep in thought* ".....What if baby Kyle grows up to be the next Michael Buble?"
....Such were the 2 a.m. conversations of Simon and I on the day of my nephew's birth.
Sleep finally happened.
Baby Kyle was born at 5:01 a.m.

A picture my dad sent me of the little one. His first day of life.
Happy emerging into the world, Kyle! I am glad that you don't actually have a full beard.
You have been born into an extremely strange (but incredibly awesome) family!
YOU ARE SO LOVED. You don't even know.
So, little nephew, I will meet you in exactly one week. Be prepared for an unlimited amount of love and affection. You also probably will get blogged about a lot. Sorry in advance.

Love, 
Your Auntie =)

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

To Honor My Parents

So, after years of being totally clueless, I have come to the conclusion that my parents are probably the wisest, most incredible people I have ever known.

Seriously though, these people are AWESOME.
They're not perfect by any means, but they are amazing human beings.

My dad is so learned in the Bible, and everything he says or does is backed up by Scripture. He knows what he believes and why he believes it, but he never pushes his beliefs on others. He is open about his faith, but he never talks down to people who have different views. Whenever I have a question about the Bible, people, myself, life, anything- he usually has an answer. His positive and loving nature is so incredibly encouraging when I am down on myself, and his frustration at my negativity pushes me to see things with a better perspective.
His generosity and hospitality to all is incredible, and I admire him for his selfless love for others. He is such a diligent worker and always makes sacrifices in order to provide for his family. He is so under-appreciated but deserves SO MUCH more gratitude.
He puts up with my female, emotional ways, and is so gentle and loving despite my irrationality. His tender heart towards his family is indescribable, and his sacrificial love is a portrait of Jesus Christ. My heart literally fills with joy every single time I talk to him or spend time with him. Or even talk about him.
He is a fantastic dad who shows love, makes me feel special, encourages me to be who I am and pushes me to be the best I can be. Basically, he is an example of what I want in a husband someday, and I am thankful to God that He provided me with a godly father.

My mom just loves the Bible. Since before I can remember, God's Word has gotten her through every day. She has always had us read with her daily, whether a passage in the Bible or a short devotional. Though I never really appreciated this as a kid (especially when it disrupted my playing time), I am SO thankful that my mom taught me to love and appreciate the Bible. My mom is one of the most kind-hearted, selfless people I have ever met. She is gentle, has a servant's heart and always puts others needs before her own (whether they deserve it or not). She is hilarious (without even knowing it) and lets me be silly with her (and talk in weird accents).
She sacrifices so much of her time for God and for her family, and she pushes us to do the same. Even though we don't show her nearly enough appreciation EVER, she is a woman of extreme worth. Her heart alone is made of gold, and the rest of her is priceless. She loves being home and with her family, and she makes it known how much she loves her children and husband.
When I am in the lowest of pits, I love talking to my mother. She lets me be sad, holds me and just tells me truths from the Bible to bring things into perspective. She understands my strange female tendencies, and she encourages me always. I hope to someday be half the wife and mother she is.

In general, my parents are not shown enough appreciation AT ALL.
So, this post, Baba & Mama, is for you.
I want you to know how much you are loved and appreciated. I am SO THANKFUL for you, and there are few people in this world who bless me like you two bless me.


So thank you <3. I LOVE YOU and MISS YOU!


Thursday, January 17, 2013

21 and the Best Birthday Yet

So this may in fact have been the best birthday ever. That may be a really generous statement, but as far as my memory recalls, today trumps the rest.

After a slightly trying week, God blessed me with the most lovely, uplifting day, and on my birthday, mind you. What I kind God I serve =).

Last night I stayed up until midnight and rang in the 21st birthday with a reading of the January 16 (birthday) "Jesus Calling," devotional, along with the Proverb of the day (Proverbs 16) which was incredible, as usual. I then went to bed, hoping to sleep in, but ended up being wide awake at 6:30 a.m. which I considered a wake up call from Jesus. So, finally by 7 a.m. I decided to start my 21st birthday off the right way in prayer to my Savior. So I had a good time talking to Jesus =). Best person to start my birthday off with! I then read Ephesians 4 which is absolutely INCREDIBLE. And I need to reread it over and over. And so do you.

So, after my time with Jesus, I was able to talk to my beautiful parents and siblings, which was awesome as usual. They wished me a Happy Birthday and said sweet things, and they made me even more thankful for them than I already am.

I then got to enjoy a delicious blueberry pancake and fruit breakfast with my SLD, Loren, thanks to the mini rot's yummy food! Off we went to convocation where I got to sit with all of my lovely Dorm 2 ladies and see some friends from the brother dorm. Oh, I need not leave out that Towns graced us with his presence in convocation as well, which is always very interesting. It's almost like Jimmy Stewart was there for my birthday!

So after convo, enjoyed a lovely Developmental Psychology class with another birthday girl, Grace-Anna, and it was fantastic. After class, had lunch with one of my very close friends and former roommates, Carla, and she gave me the most elegant cameo broach. She knows me so well! Then on to my interesting "Announcing" class which involves us talking like television and radio professionals and is very humorous.

Once classes were over, I met up with two of my very good friends Heather and Andrew, and so our adventures began for the day. Off we went, to random places by random modes of transportation. Actually, just to North campus on a wet bus (it's been raining all week). Andrew shared a disgusting and disturbing story about an awkward couple he observed, but I will spare you from despair and not share the story. I literally gagged, so that was memorable.Wet buses are disgusting, by the way.
So, to North we went to retrieve packages (yay birthday gifts from my Mama!) and things and to enjoy some intense games of Ping Pong (which Heather cheated at numerous times. Just kidding. Kind of). After our tournaments, Heather and Andrew rushed me to dinner, which at the time I had no idea why. Little did I know, these sneaky folks had invited a few of my good friends to go to dinner to celebrate my birthday. So we went, and they distracted me with toys until everyone arrived.


The beverage of choice on my 21st birthday? Water with lemon, and proud of it.


After dinner with these lovely folks, I came back to the new hotel-dorm which has newly been occupied by my lovely residents. Boxes everywhere, wet randomness, chaos. You name it. So much entertainment! A few crazy occurrences on the hall... sicknesses, broken doors, missing drapes, moving shenanigans. Just all around adventure. 
 My hallmates then began singing "Happy Birthday" to me as I walked down the hall, gave me flowers, a card, a picture of the hall folks and a delicious turtle cake. Such sweet, kind-hearted people on my hall =). Thank you to my sweet roommate for working so hard to make today special, even though we didn't get to see each other very much!

The last hour of my birthday was spent with my lovely Developmental Psych friend (who shares my birthday), Grace-Anna. The turtle cake could not be eaten alone, so we had a little birthday party together in the lobby of our hotel-dorm, ate cake and drank Diet Coke.

What a day.
So incredibly thankful for all of the wonderful people in my life who show me so much love always.

Also, indescribably thankful to my Jesus for blessing me with such people and such a day to remember =).

Thanks everyone for your love and care for me! I didn't expect any of it, nor did I deserve it.
I'm blessed by you all <3.

Monday, December 31, 2012

When I think "2012"

My life never seems that interesting, and honestly, it never really seems like anything that dramatic happens. However, my life is honestly a major adventure, and it's because of Jesus Christ. Seriously, a life of meaning and purpose sort of makes the whole "living" thing fun and exciting. People think Christianity is boring and "unfun," but honestly, nothing I do would have any sort of meaning without Jesus Christ. Think about it, we are constantly on a mission, living for Christ with a passion of reaching others for Him. That's pretty legit if you ask me.
So as I look back onto the year, I thank God for the things He has taught me, the places He has brought me and the people He has blessed me with.
I think about where I started in 2012, where I have gone and where I've been going. I think about what may happen in 2013-- who I may meet, what I may experience, how I may change, what I may learn-- and I thank God for a year that has changed me.
I believe that while God is constant and unchanging, we as human beings are made to change, to grow and to develop, and I thank God that development has taken place in my life this year.
It's important to remember where we've been and who we were so that we can get where we're going and become who we're supposed to be. (Hebrews 12:1-2)

Basically, when I think "2012," I think,
"Oh hey, that year that I tried all sorts of weird and crazy things that I never thought I would ever try, let alone do and complete.
Oh hey, that year that God stretched me, and it hurt a lot because stretching is used as a technique of torture sometimes... but God wasn't torturing me, He was just molding me.
Oh hey, that year that I'm glad is over but am glad it happened.
Oh hey, that was 2012."

This year...
I led a small group of girls in Bible study (sophomore year), and God taught me how to study His Word in a way that I can teach it to others, how to pursue relationships that are hard to pursue, how to love people who are hard to love and how to love God more than people.
I learned what it's like to be called by God and to just do what He's asking without any ifs, ands or buts.
I saw God provide without any hesitation, and I realized what it means to have faith that God will come through.
God dragged me through dry spells to help me appreciate the rain and growth.
 
teaching
I tutored in a subject that was not my forte, learned to explain things in a way I never had before, had fun times with my student, grew confident in teaching and saw God blooming within me a love for teaching and making people realize their own intelligence.

adventure
I got to experience Boston during our nation's Independence Day-- taste the canolis of the North End, smell the ocean and the musky, city air, see the tall ships floating in the harbor, hear the Boston Pops and crowds of people and touch the soft grass of the Boston Commons.
I got to watch the fireworks above my hometown with the people I love, remembering the freedom of our country and being thankful to those who fight for it.

missions
I traveled to Lebanon on almost a whim, shared the gospel, learned about my family's culture, got to know incredible people, spent an amazing month with Teta (my grandmother), was pushed out of my comfort zone, experienced intense heat, tasted delicious food, spoke in depth with people very different than me, ministered to the most random people and saw God open my heart to His will.

leadership
I was pulled up to a leadership position I didn't expect to be in, spent less time at home than I had hoped, left earlier to school than I had anticipated and began my junior year of college in a way I never imagined.
God allowed me to minister to the girls on the hall that He placed in my life, taught me to love people I never expected to love, humbled me through difficult circumstances and melted my heart from pride, forced me to say things I never wanted to say, silenced me when it was not time to speak, stretched me to do hard things and loved me when no one else did.

friendship
I built friendships I will cherish forever, and God taught me to never question His will. I went on adventures with said friends, relaxed with them, worked hard with them, enjoyed life with them, shared hard times with them, grew with them, just talked with them, learned how to be a friend to them and finally was blessed to know what real friendship looks like by their actions.
I grew in past friendships, resolved past issues, grew apart from past friendships, made new friends, thanked God for old ones, learned how to be a friend to people I would not normally choose to be friends with, experienced people being my friend when I didn't deserve it.
Made life long memories with people who I hope will be in my life forever.

family
I saw my sister grow in her pregnancy, learned what it means to love someone you don't know, grew in anticipation for her child, got to spend a great amount of time with family over the holidays, and just APPRECIATED home.

God taught me what it means to love Him more than anything, how to love people, what love really means, more about who He is, the importance of prayer, the beauty of the Bible, the importance of friendship, the difference of a kind word, the meaning of trusting in Him, how to give up control, how to let go of anxiety, Who is in control, Where to turn for guidance, that my family is a blessing, that people will fail me, that life is unfair, that everybody is beautiful, that GOD IS GOOD.