The Ones Who Crossed: the beginning

Friends, I was thinking and laughing today about the fact that all my friends who get in relationships seem to fall off the face of the planet.. and so then this story happened. Please note that I do not dislike my couple friends, but I merely had the inspiration for this story and couldn't help myself but write it down. To all my couple friends, I do really love you ;].

It was not the worst of times, but not the best of times. But sometimes good times. Life seemed somewhat ordinary, and nothing too spectacular was happening. To most, the world seemed a regular shade of blue, but soon it would turn an unusual shade of pink and lilac to others.

As Uno arose from her slumber to what she thought would be a regular day, her eyes were glazed over, oblivious to what was to come. Over to the sink she went, washing away the sleep and awakening her soul to life. All preparation for the day began normally, until suddenly she heard a knock on her door. It was her friend, Solo.

"Something's terribly wrong," were the only words to proceed out of Solo's mouth, then silence. The type of silence that prompts awkward shifting of eyes and shuffling of feet. Finally Uno spoke. "What's wrong."
"Everything," Solo replied. "They're nowhere to be found."
"Who, Solo?"
"The most recent Couple. I think they've crossed over."

Uno's heart dropped into her chest as the words sunk in. "Crossed over." Every single's terror. She had heard of this before, but never had she witnessed first-hand. The nightmare had in an instant transformed into a dark reality.

It all started on February 14th-- a day that is not spoken of often among the singles, but every individual knows about. It's the day they say many singles are consumed by the One With the Arrow and devoured by his blood-stained teeth. Uno knew she was not to roam the streets or go into public places-- the elder singles had warned her of its results. Nonetheless, Uno did not listen, and to make matters worse, she dragged along friends as well. She wanted adventure, and what was she to do but bring company with her? Off she went through the square on the dark day, the sky a shade of blood red. The day interested her and she sought to know what it held. Little did she know how her life would change. Uno's friends, more apprehensive about the decision, followed behind her suspiciously, their eyes following every noise and shadow. As they walked through the hollow streets, the sound of their hearts beating violently, they realized the sound was actually not their own hearts. It was hearts of "the Others."

The Others were also singles, but Our Kind normally avoided them at all costs. Until, of course, they heard the sound of the heartbeats. The sound was known to beckon Our Kind when we least expected it, beginning the process which would result in the "crossing over" of which we speak. Uno had heard a heartbeat a few times, but she seemed to have some sort of immunity to its powers, constantly overcoming its mystical echoes. However, some were more inclined to the sound of the beats- especially when the beat seemed to parallel their own heartbeats. When the beats met in harmony, the plague would set in and the members would transform into what we call "New Couples." From this point on, the plague would spread into their veins, breathing in their beings and creating partially mindless creatures. The Couples would be so devoured by the plague that their focus could only be on each other, their mind clouding the rest of the world in a deep fog. Such was the process of the heartbeats.

As the sound of the beats grew louder, Uno feared to look behind her into the eyes of her friends. She dreaded what she would see. Rigidly her head turned, her neck aching in the struggle against herself. Hearts. No eyes left in her friends heads, but simply hearts where the eyes used to be. Now they were just some eyeballs that she used to know. Uno shrieked in terror at the sight of her heart-eyed friends, and suddenly she realized what had happened. Both of her friends heartbeats had harmonized with the beat of the Others, and from that moment on, they would be lost forever.
After that day, her friends' minds grew more and more numb to the rest of the world. Their brains were overtaken by another world-- one of oblivion. Eventually the numbness got worse, and eventually, her friends had disappeared all together. They had crossed over, never to be seen again. To where they go is a mystery that Uno has yet to discover.

And so Uno's adventure began in her journey among the blinded...

To be continued....

Princess Heather and the Swinging Suitor

Last night, my best friend Heather couldn't sleep, so I decided to tell her a bedtime story via Facebook chat.
Below is the result. Enjoy!

"Princess Heather and the Swinging Suitor."

Once upon a time (cause every story has to start with that if it's going to end well) there was a beautiful princess named Heather.

Now Heather liked lots of things like flowers and pumpkin munchkins and anything that did not contain dairy products.

She loved music and dancing, and when she was alone she loved PR.

So one day, Heather decided to gather up all of her favorite things and make a song about it.

She decided it would also be useful to sing the song to a multitude of children during a thunderstorm.. and then eventually use the drapes to make them clothing. ("Sound of Music" reference).

While this seemed illogical, Heather decided it was worth the joy that she would bring these children.. and maybe it would bring her a wonderful prince, because everyone knows that princesses all eventually marry a prince... they don't marry anyone less noble. Unless it was Hugh Jackman. Who is a Duke. ("Kate and Leopold" reference).

So anyway, off Heather went, drape-clothed children, favorite things and all...

into the woods they roamed. Dancing and singing and playing with gnomes, until a giant possum emerged from the depths of the darkness.

 The giant possum made its way towards Princess Heather and the children as they stood frozen in their tracks, frightened and confused.

"Why is there a giant possum in the woods!" yelled one child. 

"And why is it dark? It's 2 o'clock in the afternoon!" yelled another.

 "Hush children," said the princess. "The louder you are the more likely the possum will eat you. Also, it's always dark in the forest." ("Anne of Green Gables" reference)

The children all held each others mouths shut since we all know children can't be quiet ever.

So... the possum approached... it's long, fanciful fangs dripping blood and it's eyes seeking satisfaction (for the possum was hungry and trees and bark just aren't satisfying).

Just when the children thought that they would be the solution to this possum's discontentment, Princess Heather saw a light. It was the light bulb above her head. 

She had a plan.

"I shall do my bird call and it shall emerge the birds into the woods!" "You have a bird call?" asked one of the lads. "Not yet," she replied, "But Snow White does this all the time. I know it will work."

"Question," said one of the frightened girls. 

"Why aren't the birds already in the woods? Why do they have to emerge?"

"Stop asking questions," Princess Heather replied, very irritated at the children's ignorance. "You're all nonsensical. I made you clothing out of drapes-- don't you trust me!"

This silenced the children, for she was right. She had never let them down before, and if Princess Heather wanted to emerge the birds, she would emerge them, especially since Snow White was her support in this matter.

The bird call she made was like none other... almost like a shrieking of sorts.

No movement.

"Why didn't it work!?" yelled little Alfred. "Hush. No nonsense," she replied.

And again she shrieked.. er, I mean called.

What happened next was not exactly what Heather expected.

Though birds did not emerge, something else did. Thump, thump, thump. 

Heather couldn't believe her eyes.

Not one, but two bears plopped themselves merrily towards the possum.

"We're saved!!!" yelled the children.

The two bears took quite a while to destroy the possum, not because they were incapable, but only because they could not agree on which would get the head and which would get the bottom.

Once a compromise was finally reached, the bears soon devoured the possum leaving only its tale, because no one likes cartilage.

"HOORAY!" yelled the children. But Heather stood speechless.

She knew there was more to this situation than met the eye. Actually, it was quite evident to the eye, but at this moment everyone was blinded by the fact that the two larger bears just devoured their smaller enemy.

"Stop! There's a bigger problem here, children! Grab your drapes... these bears are still hungry."

This comment caused all of the children to shriek... bringing more bears. Goldilocks was relieved.

So, everyone was surrounded.

There was no hope.

But what's this? A gentleman swinging from trees? This confused Princess Heather, because normally gentlemen don't swing from trees, especially when they're wearing suit coats with tales.

The bears recklessly strained their necks to see what all the commotion was about above them, causing some of their heads to snap off of their bodies.

This resolved some of the bear-problem, but yet some of the smarter bears simply tilted their heads carefully and remained alive.

The gentleman swung and he swung.. and yet he swung more until he reached a high branch, unreachable to the ferocious beasts.

There were only four bears left at this point, leaving the suited man with a few more options than before.

Princess Heather knew she had to do something to divert the attention from the man, so... she did the first thing that came to her mind.

She danced.

She danced and she danced, the draperies swinging about merrily.

Then something magical happened:

Not only did the children begin to dance, but so did the bears.

Not only did the bears begin to dance, but so did the possum (and the possum was dead, so this was magical indeed).

Not only did the possum begin to dance, but so did the birds (who had refused to come because they don't respond to shrieking).

Not only did the birds begin to dance, but so did the trees and the rivers and the ants and even some of the skunks (who like to frighten women who stick their heads in their cages). (Youtube video, "Killer Karaoke" reference).

Princess Heather paused a moment in her dancing endeavors and watched the motions of the forest.

The entire forest had erupted into dance. Bears dancing with children and children dancing with skunks. The Creator would be pleased to see his creation as He intended it.

The gentleman looked from above, his suit coat swaying in the breeze, the sweat dripping from his dark brow and his eyes sparkling in the sunlight.

"This woman. She is ravishing."

As he peered from the trees, admiring her beauty and elegant dance, he decided he would marry her if it was the last thing he did.

But first, he must not miss out on this dance, because no gentleman misses a ball.

Arms spread majestically, he dove into the dancing forest and landed into a pile of leaves doing a jig as well.

It tickled a bit so he was forced to giggle but then he composed himself, because we all know that gentlemen don't giggle.

(except for Andrew)

The man quickly brought himself to his feet and pushed through the dancing crowd of forest friend, struggling to find the dancing queen, young and sweet only 17. But he was mistaken because she was 20.

Finally he reached her.. the woman of his dreams.. her light brown hair blowing in the wind and her big blue eyes sparkling with relief. "Miss! May I have this dance!"

She was astonished. She couldn't believe her ears. Who was this suited stranger who had come to rescue her? Why was he now seeking a dance? She shrugged. "Oh well," she thought, "He's charming and handsome, and I'm young, beautiful and can make clothing quite creatively."

So they danced.

And danced.

The bears still dancing, the children still dancing, the skunk still dancing... the forest dancing.

But all of this seemed to be nonexistent as the two shared their dance. All they saw was the trees, hanging like a canopy above their heads.

Amidst the dance, however, Princess Heather, the PR in her arising, remembered that once the dancing ended, so would their lives (for the bears were still hungry and their appetite would only increase due to intense dance).

"Stop," she whispered to the man. "We must take the children and leave. I am hungry, and if I am hungry the bears are hungry and if the bears are hungry we will no longer be hungry because we will no longer be."

The man was slightly lost, but decided that Heather was too beautiful to argue with. So he grabbed her hand along with all of the children's hands (I'm not sure how managed to hold all of their hands at once, but gentlemen find ways) and they sneaked out of the dancing gang, past the bears, through the woods and up to a mountain.

"Let's get married!" he shouted victoriously. "OK!" she yelled, staring into his dark, melancholy eyes.

"Wait! But what about the children?!"

She stopped abruptly.

"The children? Well they have drapes, isn't that enough?"

She was offended by this comment and he knew it, so he quickly came up with a solution.

"Let's send them to a convent and they can all become nuns!"

"But the majority of them are boys," she said logically.

"They can become monks then!"

This seemed reasonable to Princess Heather.

So off they sent the children, each to their convent and monastery.

And the gentleman, whose name is unknown to the public, and Princess Heather lived happily ever after as they skipped through the mountains singing joyous melodies about climbing mountains and yodeling peddlers.

The End. 

The Squeaky, Crooked Third Wheel

Wow. It seems that couples are blooming like cherry blossoms in the spring.
They just seem to be popping out of no where, catching all of us by surprise, their hair blowing in the wind as they frolic to class hand-in-hand.
Sounds like a good old fashioned chick flick.
There must have been a time in your life when you too felt like the third, slightly crooked, squeaky wheel. It happens. It also inspires me to write a fictional nonsensical short story.
By George I think I will.


The Squeaky Third Wheel
By: Daisy Wolf

Once upon a time (classic beginning) there was a sad wheel. This wheel did not seem to fit on its said vehicle, but rather seemed to feel quite lonely and out of place. Billy (let us refer to this third wheel as Billy to create more clarity throughout this story) often found himself staring at the other two wheels wondering why they got along so well together and why he, to put it quite frankly, did not. It was not that Billy did not enjoy being a wheel, but on the contrary he normally loved his job and actually found it quite fulfilling. However, Billy suffered from being slightly squeaky and more than slightly crooked, terribly disturbing the other two wheels whom he worked with.

At first the two wheels pretended not to notice the obnoxious sounds coming from his motion. They even attempted to overlook his crooked structure which occasionally hindered them from completing their required jobs. Unfortunately, after a while the two wheels could not stand Billy any longer. "You have no purpose!" hollered one wheel. "You are annoying and out of place!" continued the other. If the two wheels could have exchanged high-fives after their cutting words, they would have, but we all know that wheels do not have hands. The two wheels stabs affected Billy quite harshly, and he felt his little wheel heart break. "They are right," Billy sadly thought to himself, "I am pathetic and useless."

At this discouragement, Billy decided there was no reason for him to turn anymore (since wheels one job is to turn, advancing whatever vehicle they work for into the direction they must go). The two wheels scoffed at Billy, telling him that it would be better for their vehicle that way. So Billy sat, and he sat, and he sat some more, moping in a way that he never had before. The more Billy sat, the more the two wheels realized that it was very difficult to move the vehicle on their own. Finally, a little being wobbled awkwardly to the vehicle, its legs chubby and miniature. "We have a user of our vehicle!" cried one of the wheels. So the two wheels prepared themselves for the job ahead of helping the child move its vehicle.

However, when the little one got on board and the two wheels began their efforts to turn, they realized that the weight was too much for them to bear. "Billy," one wheel quietly chimed in, "Could you turn just a little bit?" Billy pondered. "But I thought I have no purpose?" he whispered sadly. The two wheels, embarrassed by their past words conversed together over how to encourage Billy to help again. "Billy, we need your help. This child will never get to its playground in time if we do not help its vehicle move. You are the front wheel on this vehicle and we need you. We are not a tricycle without you." Billy beamed with excitement at their words and immediately began to turn.

Off the child went to his joyful destination, riding bravely, the wind blowing his little curls. Yes, the tricycle took him there, but the wheels moved the tricycle, and Billy was one of those wheels.

The End



Disclaimer: This story is not based on a true story but is indeed fictional.