So, it's happened. I have made a list of what I must have in a future spouse. What have I realized from this list? I am picky. Will I find a guy that will fulfill my "must-haves?" Probably not. Just kidding.. I think.
At a university that pushes getting married at a young age and finding "God's choice for you," I feel as though it's so easy to convince myself that "anyone will do." I then must slap myself brutally in the face to remind myself that this viewpoint will result in a miserable marriage filled with an "if-only" mentality. I don't want to settle. I don't want to find myself married to someone I don't want to be married to. I want who God wants for me, but somehow I don't believe that God wills for me to simply marry because it's what is expected of me.
I know what you're thinking.. "Marriage? You're not even dating."
Why would I date someone who didn't possess the qualities of someone I would consider marrying?
I know some people find this ridiculous, but that's ok. I don't make decisions based on other people's view of "the norm." Sometimes the norm isn't effective. Sometimes the norm is a broken system.
So I have come to the conclusion that although I may never end up getting married because of my standards, I am okay with that... because I would most definitely rather be single than settle.
Will this be an easy mentality to maintain? Probably not. Will it be worth it? Absolutely.
I know that God will take care of me, whether I am single or married. If God wants me to get married, He will bring someone into my life who will be right for me. I trust Him. When it all comes down to it, people don't suffice. All that matters in my life is having Christ, and well, I have Him. So, I'm all set, whether He provides a man for me or not.
There ya go.. a little bit of insight into my soul.
P.S. I figured something out:
To share your feelings to the fullest, pray. After that, blog.
At a university that pushes getting married at a young age and finding "God's choice for you," I feel as though it's so easy to convince myself that "anyone will do." I then must slap myself brutally in the face to remind myself that this viewpoint will result in a miserable marriage filled with an "if-only" mentality. I don't want to settle. I don't want to find myself married to someone I don't want to be married to. I want who God wants for me, but somehow I don't believe that God wills for me to simply marry because it's what is expected of me.
I know what you're thinking.. "Marriage? You're not even dating."
Why would I date someone who didn't possess the qualities of someone I would consider marrying?
I know some people find this ridiculous, but that's ok. I don't make decisions based on other people's view of "the norm." Sometimes the norm isn't effective. Sometimes the norm is a broken system.
So I have come to the conclusion that although I may never end up getting married because of my standards, I am okay with that... because I would most definitely rather be single than settle.
Will this be an easy mentality to maintain? Probably not. Will it be worth it? Absolutely.
I know that God will take care of me, whether I am single or married. If God wants me to get married, He will bring someone into my life who will be right for me. I trust Him. When it all comes down to it, people don't suffice. All that matters in my life is having Christ, and well, I have Him. So, I'm all set, whether He provides a man for me or not.
There ya go.. a little bit of insight into my soul.
P.S. I figured something out:
To share your feelings to the fullest, pray. After that, blog.
Lena, Oh how I love you and how I loved reading this too! I learned just about the same, don't settle! I think it's really funny marriage is pushed in your school. My school is called Moody Bible Institute, yet people call it Moody Bridal Institute...you are soooo not alone!haha With love, Vicky
ReplyDeletePS.prayer is always good before anything-hence pray without ceasing :) ♥
I wrote a post about how we shouldn't have lists for dating. Probably went overboard there. I like how you approached this!
ReplyDeleteHey Lena,
ReplyDeleteI love what you have to say and I really like your attitude.I just want to mention one thing.. No matter who you marry, it will be easy to have an "if-only" mentality.(Not saying it will certainly happen, but it is easy to slip and fall into sin.) Even though you married the perfect person for you and truly believe God wanted it, we are still sinful people and envy things. We naturally tend to want what we don't have. Almost every married person I've talked to has "if-only" moments. They usually come when you are frustrated with the person and when God isn't the center of your thoughts.
But yes, definitely don't marry someone you don't want to... Where's the fun in that?
Good point :].
ReplyDelete