Chapters

Tonight I read the first few pages of my current journal which was started my senior year of high school (only a few pages left until I move onto another journal.. can't believe it).

My how things have changed... for better and worse, but mostly for better. Reading about the people who once were prevalent in my life but are now shadows of the past, reminiscing of all the good and bad times we had and seeing where we all are today- just another method of seeing God's consistency in my life through it all.

I genuinely cannot believe that I have just finished the first semester of my sophomore year of college. I am officially scared to blink. It seems like just yesterday I was a silly elementary school girl who pictured high school students to be the epitome of adulthood. Little did I know...
It scares me that how I viewed high school and college is how I now view the rest of my life- so far in the future. Non-existent. Impossible. An enigma. 
The truth is, real life is not far away. I may still be a student, but I am an adult now and rapidly approaching the rest of my life. In exactly one month I will be twenty- the age I thought I would never reach. God willing, I will look back and say "at twenty I was so young and foolish," but for now I stand and say, "I cannot believe I have lived for two decades."

Life. How it passes. Such a vapor; such a ripple. I pray that I will not take any moment for granted, but that every phase of my life will be a time to remember. Ok, this is all pretty cheesy, I know, but if we don't think about these things, I think it's easy to pass through life, never really understanding.
To dwell in the past is to miss the present.
To miss the present is to ruin the future.
To dwell on the future is to ignore the present.
To ignore the present is to forget the past.
It's all one big cycle- one I don't want to ever get caught up in.



I have to say, I am genuinely scared to pull out my old journals from junior high and the rest of high school. Let's not even bring up the content in my elementary school journals. However, no matter how petty the topics and how silly my perspective, I am glad I have kept journals throughout my life.

I see into pieces of myself that I never knew existed, forcing myself to step out of my own world, pretending to be an outside reader of life's novel. One thing that journaling has taught me: everyone has a story and everyone's stories matter, so write it down. 
I read through the chapters where God lead me through dark deserts
as I searched for myself and ultimately, for Him.
I read through the chapters where I lived my life convincing myself I was in the right,
when really I was not.
I read through the chapters where God stripped my pride, forcing me to see myself as I was.
I read through the chapters where God holds me close, showing me Himself
and the value I hold in Him.
I read through the chapters where I have reached a point of satisfaction in God.

Chapter after chapter, I see myself.. but really I see God's work in me.
I see the growth that took place, and I see the growth that needed to take place but never fully did. I see situations that happened years ago that are just now molding me into who I should be.
Through it all, I see God's grace.
I see God's goodness.
I see God's faithfulness.
I see God's love.
I see God.

My point? Please journal. It's just another way to prove that God can be worshiped and praised through any form of talent or hobby. To get to know God better is to get to know His creation and the interaction He has with them. Sometimes the creation one must analyze is himself.

God bless,
Daisy Wolf