Me of Little Faith

Sometimes I don't write because there really isn't anything to say. Other times, I don't write because I have something to say but don't know if it's worth documenting- if I write, it means that I have to be vulnerable. Lately, the latter has been most applicable. Well, I think it's time to be vulnerable and document.

It is in that moment of doubt that you lose yourself. Doubting your purpose. Doubting your worth. It is when you take your eyes off of Jesus that you begin to sink to your watery grave. It's like I've been drowning in the salty water of decision making, gasping for the air that I hope will give me answers. But through it all, I've received no answers. No clarification. No miraculous sign from God to show me what I'm supposed to do with my life. Nothing. Just empty discouragement.

Yet, as I gazed longingly at the Savior, my eyes slowly descending beneath the water line, I realized what had happened. My faith had failed, and instead of keeping my eyes on the One who rules all, I looked at the size of the waves and the strength of the wind, and my focus on Jesus was shifted to my lack of strength. Who was I to walk on water? I wasn't anyone at all, and I didn't deserve to be defying any sort of laws of nature. I couldn't do it. I wasn't capable. Well, I was right. I wasn't capable. What I didn't and still don't always understand is that, that's the point. Jesus allowed Peter to sink for that brief moment because Peter pulled his eyes away from Jesus, even if just for a moment. That brief glance at the water represented Peter's reliance on himself. Peter was no longer trusting in Jesus for strength.

As I, metaphorically, walked on the water, I realized in just a moment that I didn't know where I would step next. I had no plan, and even if I did, I probably wouldn't be able to complete it. Well, Jesus hasn't called me to know where I am going on the water. He has just called me to walk, my eyes fixed on Him. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters wherever You will call me." -Hillsong United

I know God has called me to serve Him, whether I know the specifics or not. The question isn't where I'm going, but whether I'm willing to go or not. Though I fight discouragement, confusion and lack of direction, I know that there's more to this story than meets the eye. An easy life is not an option in life of a Jesus follower, and I must realize that if I'm not willing to serve God while not knowing His calling, I won't be willing to serve God while knowing His calling. Knowing isn't the issue. It's the step of faith that defines the follower. No wind, no wave, no lack of footing can prevent me from accomplishing God's purpose for my life. May I keep my eyes on Jesus, no matter the storm.

Matthew 14:22-32 

22 Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. 23 And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24 but the boat by this time was a long way[a] from the land,[b] beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them. 25 And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea.26 But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out in fear. 27 But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.” 28 And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.”29 He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind,[c] he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out,“Lord, save me.” 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” 32 And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased.

The Stuff of Summer

Despite the overcast, slightly chilly days, I love New England summers.
The thunderstorms are mild, but beautiful,
the rain is gloomy, but magnifies the greenery,
and the light breeze forces me to hold on tighter to the ones I love.

It's good to be home.

Home has a way of relaxing me, even when I'm stressed. I know that I am loved where I am, and that's all I really need to know. That I am loved. From that point on, I can face the rest of this world. That's probably why, in general, I am not really a stressed out person.
I know that, no matter what people's opinions of me, I am loved by the Creator of the world. That's definitely a mind-boggling relief.
I am thankful for the people he's placed in my life here at my official earthly home because through them, I see Him. Their love, to me, represents God's love, because I know that they love because He loves. Home reminds me of that.

So far, this summer has involved getting to know and love my nephew, catching up with cousins, seeing old friends who I grew up with, trying new things, sticking to old things and getting some work done.

I just love my nephew a lot. Everything about him. How is it possible to have so much love inside of me for this little human being who can't talk and who I barely know? I don't know how, but it's happened. Needless to say, that little one has my heart.
I've come to understand what God wants of me in certain areas of my life but only in glimpses. I sort of know what He wants, but I don't know when or how that's going to happen. Or maybe (probably) I don't actually understand, and I just think I do.
...And people think the Christian life is boring. Ha.

In other news, I sort of threw the majority of my reading list out the window and developed a whole new one.
Didn't read the Great Gatsby before I saw the movie, but may in fact read it anyway.
The movie reminded me of why I loved the book in the first place... depth, beautiful language, depiction of historical pains.
I picked up "To Kill a Mockingbird" off of my shelf tonight. It's been there for years, and I still have yet to read it. I'm sort of glad I didn't read it when I was young because I believe that now I can really appreciate it. So I begin that, along with two books that I have to read for RA for next year.
"Gospel Centered Discipleship" by Jonathan K. Dodson and
"Lady in Waiting" by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones.
I started Dodson's book and so far so good. We'll see.
I'm really excited to start on "Lady in Waiting," especially since I started my new blog, Embrace the Single. I'm praying that it gives me more to think about and to contribute.
I am, however, still reading "The Picture of Dorian Gray," but it's sort of turned into my "when I'm stuck somewhere, bored and just need to read" book since it's on my iPod.
Sometimes you just need one of those books.

I'm finally getting to watch some movies that I've been wanting to watch but haven't had time for during the semester, one of which was "One Day," a 2011 picture starring Anne Hathway and Jim Sturgess. This movie genuinely took my breath away (of course, not including inappropriate scenes and so on) .. it was creative, made my heart happy and sad all at the same time and attached me to the characters. Definitely a worth while film.

I painted on Wednesday and realized how completely unrealistic my mind is- or so depicts my art. Disorganized, colorful, flowery and... swirly. Those are the contents of my brain.
Confusing. Unfocused. Passionate. Hopelessly romantic.
I don't even understand my mind.
Does everyone think in different shapes? If that's the case, I'm pretty sure the shape I think in is swirls. Is that a shape?
This reminds me of a quote from a song by the Vespers:

"People come in circles and squares
Some are hearts but they're quite rare."
-Eyes Wide Open

I love that quote. It's such a truth of life. It's like the hearts in life are the kindred spirits.
That's how I paint.. with that in mind. That there are hearts out there somewhere, despite their rarity.
I don't paint well, but somehow there is still a method to the madness.

On a different note, despite every single place I've applied to either telling me they won't hire for the summer or not getting back to me at all (even though I harrass them frequently), God has still provided me a method of work this week (and exercise).
House cleaning. Nothing crazy, but something.
And a something that helps me build my muscle index as well.
I can't complain.
Honestly, cleaning is extremely relaxing for me (unless it's my own room.. then it makes me want to procrastinate). It was enjoyable for me in general, and it was exciting that I was doing something and working hard. I've loved the opportunities of relaxation, but I really do love to work and earn.

 In my time in the Word, I have been reading Judges and I just love everything about the book (even though I have been struggling to read it daily, especially with its heavy topics). The repetitiveness of Israel's sin can sort of be disheartening at times, reminding me of my perpetual disobedience to God as a human being, but at the same time, it reminds me of God's mercy and constant forgiveness of the people of Israel.
From the book of Judges, I learn who I want to be like, who I don't want to be like, how I want to live my life and how I don't want to live my life.
I see more about the character of my God, what He expects of those who follow Him and how He interacts. Most importantly, I see my need for Him.
The Bible has a trivial way of somehow relaying that same message, despite the actual topic.

I start my internship on Wednesday, and it would probably be an understatement to say that I'm terrified. Terrified to mess up, terrified to forget what I've learned, terrified to let people down, terrified to not display Jesus to people. In addition, I'm terrified to get lost. Really though, I am the most directionally dysfunctional human being (probably on this planet), and I can't get lost. I really need to figure out where this place is...

So that's what's been happening.
Summer. Life. Love. Bliss. Home.

We Call it Living

I haven't been doing a very good job of writing these days, but I haven't had much to write about. What is there to say in regards to the mass amounts of school work I have to do, the many SLD interviews I've had to go through for my next year as an RA and the sleeping I do (if I can).

The cycle-like times in life force me to reevaluate who I am and remind myself that there's more to life than just getting through. It's so terrifyingly simple to fall in that mundane pattern of living, where life is just what you do. And yes, life can be monotonous sometimes, but God is to be glorified in EVERYTHING we do.
Everything. 
Even what we eat.
Or what we think.
Or how we respond.
Or how much effort we put into our tasks.
Or what we say.
Or what attitude we have.
Or why we do what we do.

These little everythings... they make one big something.
These details seem to swallow up our attention and transform us into mindless zombies, our brains hanging out and our goal to remove of other people's brains (in a sense) as well.
Instead living life well, we just drone on with no life at all and bring everyone else down with us.
The big picture slides out of view and purpose on this earth rests in a fog.
A motionless, thick, ever-hovering fog.

Who we are, why we're here, Who we serve, how we're here. 

The big picture.

We forget. 

I'm talking to myself right now, in case you're wondering. I usually am in my blog posts, though.. so you probably figured.

Seriously though-- is this how God called us to live? Mediocre and mundane? False.
God called us to live life extraordinarily. We're not just people. We're GOD'S CHILDREN. We were bought with a price. We are here to glorify GOD. We are here to tell people about Jesus. We are alive because of JESUS!

1 Corinthians 10:31
"Therefore whether you eat or drink, or  

whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, 

whom you have from God, and you are not your own?  

For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s."

1 John 4:4

"You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, 

because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world."

Matthew 28:19-20

"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; 

and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age. Amen."

When Jesus gave us life, He did not give us life to waste, but to LIVE. 

He gave us life so that the little things in our life would ultimately fulfill God's will. 

These little things? They're not meaningless. They belong to GOD. 

All of these little things, make up something big. 

So, friends, let us live our lives in love with Jesus, 
knowing that we are here to glorify God.
Knowing that we are God's, purchased by Him.
Knowing that He is in us and GREATER.
Knowing that He is with us always.

Grand Romance

I've been thinking about the church and the day that we will be brought to the side of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  I've been thinking about how, on that day, we no longer will face the struggle of idolizing human beings because our eyes will finally be opened. This ridiculous fascination we have with flawed man will no longer exist, but rather we will be perfect and complete, face-to-face with our Savior. His glory will be all that we see, and we no longer will be blinded by darkness.

It's one giant, magnificent love story. You don't have to be a romantic to appreciate the fact that we were lost, Jesus Christ sacrificed everything because He loves the world, and though we must be separated for a time, we will one day be reunited with our True Love.

We're all part of a grand romance. 

Jesus is the hero. We are the damsels in distress.

The plot is filled with undeserving love, sacrifice, forgiveness,
loyalty, protection and life-long companionship.

All other romantic movies, books, plays, stories.. you name it..
they are all plagiarized. In fact, love itself is plagiarized. 

Jesus Christ is the original knight in shining armor. He is the first initiator of a relationship
and the only perfect relationship-participant. 

The Bible is the ideal romantic novel.
As we await the coming of our bridegroom, we must prepare ourselves, making the most of our time on earth. The wedding must not be missed, and our hearts must be ready.

Faith of Abraham

I watched the two episodes of the new "The Bible" TV series this week. I know, I was a couple weeks late, but better late than never. Honestly, I'm pretty impressed how accurate it was (despite its few inaccuracies.. which was expected).

I am really encouraged by this show. The fact that God's Word is being spread (and that it is the number one show on television right now) is incredible. Though people are constantly seeking to disprove the Bible and are continually tearing it down, they still display a HUNGER for it's truths. They know, but they won't admit. That's another tangent though...

I really loved the parts with Abraham and Sarah. I can't even imagine the struggles they faced and the tests they overcame, proving their faith in God. Is it bad that I'm encouraged by their failures? Well, I'll admit that I am. These giants of faith, God's beloved people, still failed to trust God.

Sarah laughed when God told her that she would have a child in her old age (Genesis 18:12), and Abraham took matters into his own hands and had sexual relations with his handmaiden to have a son, when God clearly told him that a great nation would come from him and Sarah.
 
Yet, despite their lack of faith, God used Abraham and Sarah. God loved them, and He showed that He loved them through testing them. I know that sounds weird, and to our finite minds, yeah, it's pretty weird. However, through these tests, God gave them second chances to show their faith in Him.

The scene in "The Bible" (the TV show.. and the actual Book) where God calls Abraham to sacrifice His son gets me every time. Imagine the amount of faith that would take to sacrifice your son (especially when they had waited to so long for God to provide him). Wow.

Do I have that much faith?
If God asked me to do that, would I?

My prayer is that my faith would be like the faith of Abraham and Sarah, even if that means I'm going to fail sometimes and even if that means God will ask me to do strange and difficult things.

My Chains are in Christ

Persecution.

It's a difficult concept to swallow, and one that we try to avoid thinking about all together, especially as Americans. Here we are, comfortable Americans with no real pressure to recant our faith and especially no physical risks.

We believe what we want, how we want, and when we want.
Church? It's kind of just there when we need it.
The Bible? Eh, we can turn there whenever we're feeling blue.
Fellow believers? Oh, they're cool cause they believe the same thing as us.
Evangelism? Aw how cute. Telling people about Jesus.
Discipleship? That's cool.

Seriously though. This is the attitude floating around the American Christian community.
On the other spectrum, here is how the persecuted church views these very same things:
Church! Difficult to get to, but a privilege when we are able to meet.
The Bible! Our lifeline. We'll do anything to hear it, to read it, to speak it, to talk about it, to share it.
Fellow Believers! Our family. Our support system. Our cherished brothers and sisters who share our chains and run the same race as us.
Evangelism! We can't stop. How can we know about Jesus and not share it? How can we know the truth and keep it to ourselves? It's just natural and part of who we are.
Discipleship! Essential for the church to survive. Growth of the future leaders so that the church will flourish and spread.

Well, right now, there are a myriad of Christians all over the world who are currently under extreme persecution because of the sole reason that they are followers of Jesus Christ.

We hear this, and we get clammy.

Well, folks, the persecuted church is doing something right.
I'm not saying we're not absolutely blessed by the fact that we can openly share our faith and meet with other believers without any sort of penalty in the U.S.
We are blessed.
But do we care?

Today, one man who is currently on my heart is Pastor Saeed. However hard it is to understand, through his persecution, millions of people are hearing the gospel through his story.
As the apostle Paul says in his letter to the church at Philippi (he's writing this while he's in prison for his faith):

"But I want you to know, brethren, that the things which happened to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the gospel, so that it has become evident to the whole palace guard and to all the rest, that my chains are in Christ; and most of the brethren in the Lord, having become confident by my chains, are much more bold to speak the word without fear."
- Philippians 1:12-14

Through persecution, the gospel is furthered. 
Through one believer's courage comes the boldness of a church. Through sacrifice comes salvation.

Please take a moment to pray for Pastor Saeed today.

 
For more information on Pastor Saeed and the persecuted church:
http://savesaeed.org/
http://www.persecution.org/ 

Obey with What I Know

It seems to be my eternal prayer that God will show me how all of these mismatched pieces of my life will somehow fit together. It's like God has allowed so many beneficial life lessons and experiences to come into my life but none of them really relate to each other.

To be extremely honest, I've been discouraged lately-- not because I don't believe God is faithful or that He is incapable, but because I'm so impatient to see where this mess I call my life will go.
I'm so thankful for all of the people God has placed in my life in the past and in the present, but why can I not trust God with the people in my future? The Lord is so faithful, yet I still struggle to fully trust Him. I'm not sure why that is. If you can figure that out, please, feel free to enlighten me.

My major? Not sure what it's for.
My future job? No idea.
What am I going to do after college? That's a good question.

Despite my discouragement and, at times, bad attitude, God has been so beautiful in showing me how even seemingly insignificant roles (or lack of immediate direction) can impact the world for God's kingdom.

My SLD and I are going through the book of Philippians with our two prayer leaders. Last week, I was blessed to be able to study and teach on how the church at Philippi (to whom Paul is writing his letter in the book of Philippians) began.
If you read Acts 16, you can see even in this very short passage the people that God used in the starting of the church at Philippi (which gave us the beautiful book of Philippians).

Maybe I'm biased, but I absolutely love Lydia. There isn't much said about her except that she was a seller of purple fabrics, "worshiped God," that "the Lord opened her heart to heed the things spoken by Paul," that she was baptized, and that she opened her home to Paul and Luke (and whoever else was with them) for the sake of the gospel... and eventually allowed Paul and the other believers to meet at her home (vs.14-15;40).
I find this absolutely incredible.
First off, women in Bible times didn't really seem to have much part in the spiritual growth of community. However, women of the early church like Lydia play key roles that are often overlooked.
Lydia did what she knew how to do, worshiped God in what she did and made herself accessible to fulfill whatever the need.

The believers in Philippi needed a place to meet to encourage each other and worship God together? Not a problem. Lydia was there to offer up her home and use what the Lord had given her.
I love this quote from 365 Life Lessons from Bible People: 

"Lydia's response to the gospel was personal, profound and practical. She opened her own life to Jesus. She then led her entire household to committing themselves to Christ in baptism. Then she insisted on having the missionaries make her house their base of operation. To the extent that Lydia understood God, she obeyed.
She displayed a willing heart."

I really just love that quote.

Lydia may not have known that God would use her hospitality to be the "base of operation" for the missionaries at Philippi. 

She may not have known that through the growth of the Philippian church would come Paul's letter to the Philippians. 

She didn't know that the book of Philippians would be inspired by God and placed in God's fulfilled and completed Word, the Bible. 

She also had no idea that millions upon millions of people would read it, learn from it and grow in their relationship with God from it.

That, my friends, shows the power of obedience despite "lack of direction."

And THAT is what I need. To obey "to the extent that I understand God." 

In other words, I need to obey God with what I know. 

I need to do what I know how to do, worship God in what I'm doing and make myself accessible to fulfill any needs that may surround me.
That is what I need to do. 

"To the extent that Lydia understood God, she obeyed."

True faith.

Dreams, Desires and Doubt

While some desires are fleshly desires, I do believe that some desires are God-given and with godly motivation. Such godly desires, I believe, are essential to pursue.

Often we ignore or stifle dreams and desires because we're scared of them. We're afraid they're not "God's will," and we're terrified by the amount of hard work (and trials) the dreams will take to accomplish. If God is giving you a passion and dream to do His work in some form or another, chances are, it IS God's will.
Maybe that's a little bit bold to say, but I do believe that.
I always ask God, "But how do I know it's Your will?"
I find that usually after praying about and seeking godly counsel, if it is still weighing on my heart so heavily, it is probably worth pursuing as God's will.

I really do not believe that God's will is some deep, mysterious calling that we will magically be enlightened by. Maybe it is for some people, but for the everyday Christian, God's will is an everyday call to action. Living in God's will is seeking to glorify Him in whatever talents, abilities and passions He has given us. After all, such talents, abilities and passions are given to us by God and are meant to be used for His glory and to share His Word with the world.

If you have a desire and it is a godly one, ask.
Ask for wisdom. Ask for completion. Ask.
Ask who? Ask GOD.
Ask how? Ask in FAITH.

Matthew 7:7-9

⁷ Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. ⁹ Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?

James 1:5-7

⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. ⁶ But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. ⁷ For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; ⁸ he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

Don't doubt that God can do whatever it is you're seeking Him to guide you in. If you ask God, but don't believe He can do it or will do it, why WOULD He do it?
No, God is not a genie in a bottle to give us whatever we want, but He does give us the privilege of talking to Him and sharing with Him our deepest desires and cares. Maybe things won't happen how you picture them or imagine them, but either way, it will be a good thing. God loves us more than we love ourselves (and we all know, that's a lot).

Jesus Christ does not disappoint, and He does not abandon.
He fulfills, He makes whole, He provides and He loves.

Dead to Sin

Sometimes we need an extreme kick in the pants to see how holy God is and how sinful we really are. I have been finding how it easy it is to get used to sin. It's almost like it becomes a part of me.. its comfortable. When I reach that point, my sins eat me alive.

I'm not talking about "large" sins-- the blatant "disgusting" sins that everyone sees, knows about and detests. I'm talking about heart sins. "Little" sins. The sins that only the people that really know you know about. The sins that maybe no one knows about. The sins that people think aren't a big deal. The sins I think aren't a big deal. The sins that are "a part of us."

Our society doesn't like that word-- sin. They think it's offensive, pushy and "religious." Well, maybe to the world the word "sin" is those things, but it doesn't mean it's any less disgusting, any less God-opposing or any less real. As Christians, we (or maybe it's just me) seem to unknowingly buy into this opinion of the word, or just of the concept in general. Maybe we don't go right along with the world, but we don't really detest sin as we should.

The world: "I'm a good person for the most part, so that's what matters." 

Some Christians: "Jesus saved me, so I'm a good person."

The world: "I'm not really bad, so it's ok if I do a bad thing once in a while." 

Some Christians: "Jesus saved me so it's ok if I do sin because I'm going to heaven anyway."

I'm not saying this is always the mentality; these are just generally common thought processes I've noticed (and had).

I've been reading through Romans, and I just have to say that the book is absolutely AMAZING. Romans 5 (which I last blogged on ;] haha) is saturated with truths of God's LOVE for mankind. True love. Sacrifice. While we were SINNERS, Christ DIED for us (Romans 5:8). We do not save ourselves. There is nothing we can do to be "good enough" to reach God. We will not be flawless and lose all sin nature when we come to Christ. However, sin is what Jesus Christ saved us FROM.

Romans 6:1-14

"What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? ² Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? ³ Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? ⁴ Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.
⁵ For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection, ⁶ knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin. ⁷ For he who has died has been freed from sin. ⁸ Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, ⁹ knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, dies no more. Death no longer has dominion over Him. ¹⁰ For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God. ¹¹ Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
¹² Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. ¹³ And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. ¹⁴ For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace."

When we allow sin to become comfortable in us, we are remaining dead to sin. We are saying to God, "Thanks for saving me, but no thanks." 
 
Jesus saving me doesn't make me a good person, it makes me a NEW person. Newness involves change. Not because of who we are, but because of what Jesus has DONE.
Sin is comfortable because it's our nature. As believers in Jesus Christ, God gives us the strength through the Holy Spirit to live ALIVE.

And the point of it all? To point people to Jesus Christ. In my muck and filth, Christ's holiness is imparted onto me so that I may show people HIS LOVE.
He is HOLY.

He must increase, and I must decrease.

The Love Root

Love.

So misconstrued and misused. Romance has a place in love, but it is the shallowest form.

LOVE.
The surface has yet to be touched for the majority of mankind.

Love between parent and child.
Love between spouses.
Love between family.
Love between friends.
Love for a stranger.
All glimpses of The LOVE from which it all stems.
All we see are the tips of the branches when the roots extend deep within the ground, leaving the most essential and foundational part unseen. If only the "Love Root" were understood, the "love surface" would be more easily tapped into, its accessibility utilized and relayed.

"God does not love us because He created us; He created us because He loves us."

This quote was shared with me once, and it has always intrigued me.
God does not love us because He created us. He created us because He loves us.

A love that initiated life.

Because of the "Love Root," we are existent.
We are given:
breath, life, movement, depth, thought, soul, emotion, pleasure, care, appreciation, beauty

Such things stem from Love.

How can one even attain such a love for others?
Can we truly even enjoy this life without it?

God Almighty, Alpha and Omega, the initiator of all things, including LOVE, is the demonstrator of such love. He is LOVE.

1 John 4:8
"He who does not love does not know God, for God is love."

Romans 5:7-8
"For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

 While we were yet sinners.

In our worst, God loves, and He has given us LIFE. It did not stop at the "emotion of love," but continued into the "action of love." While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Death. The ultimate sacrifice. The ultimate expression of love.

1 John 4:19
"We love, because He first loved us."

Love does not come from us; it comes from Jesus Christ's initiation.
Any love we know, any love we give is a mirror image of the love we've received.

LOVE. The depths are unfathomable.
If we understood the length of God's love, we would cease to attempt to love others or love God with the shallow love of humanity but would instead dispose of such loves in exchange for TRUE LOVE: God's LOVE.

If we loved with the love of Jesus Christ, imagine the power.
Imagine the roots that would be reached. Imagine the hearts that would be touched.

LOVE. God's love covers a multitude of sins.
It forgives. It cares.
It is the Love Root. The initiator for meaningful branches.
The key to removal of fear (1 John 4:18).
 
If only we knew the depths of such LOVE.

The King who can't be Dethroned

So, maybe I've missed the "obligatory political blog post" boat during these election times, but I feel as though maybe the after-thoughts may be more interesting, and well, just more thought out in general. During the election, my emotions are usually all over the place and everyone tends to be high on politics. I guess this is part of what I want to write about.

I'm not going to be shy, and I'm not going to lie. I was extremely disappointed with the outcome of the election and failed to have a good attitude. This is a personal blog, so I'm going to go ahead and openly say that President Obama being in office for another four years makes me shutter. And wonder what freedom will look like when I'm 24.

When the election results came out, a fog of depression emerged upon my extremely conservative university, except for the occasional Obama fan who would decide that throwing Obama flyers was a great idea. (To slightly digress on that- if you want to help me maintain a good attitude, then please do not do this. I will in fact snap and yell things like "SAVE THE BABIES!" and then walk away angrily. This is a true story). Walking back to the dorm room after hearing that was like walking out of a funeral home and into a memorial service. The tensions on my hall were high, and I decided that there was no possible way that we could have a good attitude and show respect without intense prayer. So, I made a "prayer circle" call onto the hall and some obviously unhappy girls emerged from their room, ready and willing to pray for the country and our president. As I prayed out loud, it occurred to me that it was not in fact the end of the world. It may not be good news for our country, but it is not the end of the world (yet).

Although my attitude still suffered and I had to fight bitterness, I believe God used this whole thing in my life a lot. I learned a lot about people and about myself, and I re-realized how omnipotent and sovereign God really is.

Now, before I go on, let me just say that I think it is extremely important to respect authority, and since President Obama has been placed in authority over our country, I will respect him.
However, the moment he tells me to do or think something that opposes God's Word, I choose Jesus over him any day. But anyway...

The main verses that popped into my head right after President Obama was announced to be the winner of the election was Romans 1. Now I'm not saying Mitt Romney would have been some sort of redeemer, but any candidate who supports the genocide of the unborn proves himself to be lacking in the "following God" department. So anyway...

Romans 1:18-25

¹⁸ For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness,¹⁹because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them. ²⁰For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse, ²¹ because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. ²² Professing to be wise, they became fools, ²³ and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man—and birds and four-footed animals and creeping things. ²⁴Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, ²⁵ who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.

 ...I can't help but relate this verse perfectly to our country and our world.
Immorality and corruption is overtaking our country, but here's the thing-- the people have CHOSEN it. When people want to sit in their own filth and manure, God allows them. Maybe that's heartless, but I believe it's the truth.

God won't force anyone to love Him. 
He won't force anyone to care about what He says.
However, God gives people the worst punishment they could imagine when they choose to live in sin-- what they want. You don't want a God to tell you what to do? Prepare for chaos. Prepare for complete and utter chaos. The world without God's presence is a very scare place, my friends.
Sorry if that's morbid, but this really did come to mind at all of these occurrences. I was surprised that our country re-chose a man who stands for all things contrary to the Bible, truth and morality, but then again, I wasn't surprised at all. This is the world we live in and this is the choice that they've made.

As for me, I choose to follow the ONE true God. No human being can give me the hope that Jesus Christ has given me. Now to only spread this hope and truth to the rest of the world *another post for another time*....

Anyway, I guess to conclude all of these thoughts I'm just going to say that whoever our president is- Jesus Christ is LORD. Whatever the people choose- God's Word is the final authority. Whatever chaos breaks out in this lost world- there is peace in Jesus Christ.
Life will go on, and Jesus will always be in control.
Jesus Christ will always be King.
Nothing will ever change that.
Not the republicans. Not the democrats. Not Romney. Not Obama. Not any individual. Not any policy. Not any "change."

Stretching-->Obedience-->Rest

I haven't blogged in a while.. which is sad, but it's ok.
I've started a few blog posts and haven't finished them, but some of them are the type that accumulate with information over time (surprises ahead!)

It has been a crazy semester so far. And by crazy I mean insane. And by insane I mean psychopathic. And all of that is an understatement.
Just kidding, I bet other people in the world are going through more crazy, insane and psychopathic things, but everything always seems worse and weirder when it's you.

First of all, September is over! *faded cheering in the background*
I don't know why it is, but September never fails to be the worst month ever. Always and forever. It's like the month of September knows that when it comes around, it's time to bring out the worst emotions in Daisy possible. Thankfully, God sped up September a little bit this semester, so it didn't last as long as last year. That was a blessing.
However, despite my lack of appreciate for the month of September, God has taught me that I have SO much to be thankful for, whether I enjoy September or not. That is another post for another time (oh don't you worry.. it's coming). I find that September is my peak month for complaining, and I also find that this habit needs to change. Whether I like the month or not, God created it and I am still alive in the month, and He expects me to make the most of every day and be thankful.

God has been really stretching me lately- in ways I didn't see coming (of course) and never thought I'd experience at this age.
I'm learning that I am so THANKFUL for my friends here at college. Two of my best friends, Heather and Andrew, have definitely been large contributors of joy to my semester, and I do believe God has placed them in my life strategically at this time.
I'm learning that the way to overcome anger towards a person is often just to pray for them- it's nearly impossible to hold bitterness against someone when you're praying for them to the God of the universe. It sort of just... happens that way.
I'm learning that my classes are actually useful to my life and that there are professors who actually care about my well-being (which means the world).
I'm learning that rest is NECESSARY, and God grants it to those who obey Him and follow His will.
I'm learning that the way my day goes cannot be based on others moods (or else it constantly will be bad and roller-coaster like).
I'm learning that I'm not responsible for other people's attitudes or responses to my boundaries.
I'm learning that only God is constant and can sustain me.
I'm learning that God takes care of us, whether we think He will or not.
I'm learning that trusting God wholeheartedly with my entire life is one of the hardest things in the Christian life EVER.
Basically, in a nutshell, I'm learning that growing up is hard.

The other day I read a passage in Joshua 1 that really encouraged me....
Joshua 1:10-18
¹⁰ Then Joshua commanded the officers of the people, saying, ¹¹ “Pass through the camp and command the people, saying, ‘Prepare provisions for yourselves, for within three days you will cross over this Jordan, to go in to possess the land which the Lord your God is giving you to possess.’”
¹² And to the Reubenites, the Gadites, and half the tribe of Manasseh Joshua spoke, saying, ¹³ “Remember the word which Moses the servant of the Lord commanded you, saying, ‘The Lord your God is giving you rest and is giving you this land.’ ¹⁴ Your wives, your little ones, and your livestock shall remain in the land which Moses gave you on this side of the Jordan. But you shall pass before your brethren armed, all your mighty men of valor, and help them, ¹⁵ until the Lord has given your brethren rest, as He gave you, and they also have taken possession of the land which the Lord your God is giving them. Then you shall return to the land of your possession and enjoy it, which Moses the Lord’s servant gave you on this side of the Jordan toward the sunrise.”
¹⁶ So they answered Joshua, saying, “All that you command us we will do, and wherever you send us we will go. ¹⁷ Just as we heeded Moses in all things, so we will heed you. Only the Lord your God be with you, as He was with Moses. ¹⁸ Whoever rebels against your command and does not heed your words, in all that you command him, shall be put to death. Only be strong and of good courage.”
  
The main thing that God is teaching me right now is that 
If we are obedient to God and follow His will, then He will give us REST. (vs 13-15). Joshua OBEYS and leads others to obey as well. (vs 16).

Live the Gospel

Do you know how many posts I've started that I haven't finished yet? A lot. I'll get to them eventually- I promise. For now, I'm going to write what God taught me tonight during my Jesus time (which was the best part of my day, by the way. EXACTLY what I needed, as always).

I have been reading in 1 Corinthians, which has been absolutely incredible. Chapter 3 speaks powerfully on God's work vs. man's work and the necessity for us to rely on Him to grow people (not us). In chapter 4, Paul talks about being faithful stewards of whatever opportunities and talents God has given us (everything we are and have is from Him and for Him). Chapter 5-7 focus a lot on purity, dealing with issues between other believers (brethren in the church) and marriage, while chapter 8 goes into the whole "stumbling block" topic (a favorite topic in churches).

Tonight, I read in 1 Corinthians 9, and it was beautiful. The first part involves not being a hypocrite (vs. 1-18). Basically, verse 14 sums it all up:

"Even so the Lord has commanded that those who preach the gospel should live the gospel."

Am I practicing what I preach? Am I living the gospel? What does it mean to LIVE the gospel?
The gospel: the good news that, although we are sinners and deserve hell, Jesus Christ made a way for us to be with him in heaven. He voluntarily came to earth (leaving His throne) in the form of a human being to die on a cross in humiliation and then rise from the dead three days later, triumphing from the grave. GRACE and MERCY.
Am I living GRACE, MERCY and LOVE?
Am I living SACRIFICE?
Am I living HOPE?
Am I living the gospel?

Verse 19 then basically defines the entire Christian life:

"For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a SERVANT to ALL, that I might win the more..."

True beauty and sacrifice. In my freedom, am I being a servant to others, showing them Christ & winning them into His love?
Verse 27- Live above reproach and as an example.

My prayer is that Jesus Christ will do these things in me. My prayer is that Jesus Christ will teach me to live the gospel, to serve in my freedom and to be above reproach.

The Story of Hope

The Bible is so often mistaken for a group of individual books. On the contrary, the books of the Bible majestically flow together presenting a central story: Jesus Christ. Every book tells just a piece of the story of God's love.

The Old Testament tells of man's constant faltering in his own strength (Jeremiah 17:9). It tells of the depravity of human beings and the absolute hunger for salvation (Genesis 18). Genesis introduces the story, telling us of our beginning and displaying our fall (Genesis 1-3). It tells of how man's need for a Savior began (Genesis 5:8) and how God's love would pour out (Isaiah 53). The Old Testament presents the people of God awaiting a freedom from their bonds of sin and their need for constant altars and sacrifices (Leviticus 16:33-34). One day the children of the Old Testament heroes of faith (Abraham, Moses, Joshua, David, Daniel, etc) would see a time when the ultimate sacrifice would cleanse our sin once and for all (Hebrews 9-10). One day the Savior of the world would be sent to redeem His people (Matthew 1:21).

The New Testament fulfills this prophecy. Jesus Christ, God's Son and Promise, comes to earth to save His people from their sins (Matthew 1:21), redeeming us of the utter pit of sin we were trapped in, breaking the chains of ritual and good works and opening the doors to freedom to live for the glory of God without boundary (Galatians 5:1). The witnesses of the life, death, burial and resurrection of our Lord continue to tell the story throughout the New Testament, spreading the news to the nations and teaching those who believe how to live in a manner worthy of the calling (Ephesians 4:1-3). It gives us guidance in how to live now that we have the freedom to live for Christ fully and it prepares us for the second coming of our King to this earth (Revelation).

The overruling focus of the Bible, both Old and New Testament, is always Jesus Christ.
God's grace through His Son overwhelmingly pours through the pages. 
From Genesis to Revelation, Jesus REIGNS.