Lebanon Trip- Part 1

So wow. It's going to be quite a task to blog on my entire trip to Lebanon, but post by post, I'm going to do it. Let me just begin by saying, God is incredible in all that He does and He is good in every situation. This trip not only involved building relationships, getting to share the gospel & being a testimony, but also involved growth, learning and faith. You guys ready for this? One month of God working is going to be pretty difficult to contain into the form of blog posts, but thankfully my daily journal-keeping will ease this up for me a bit.

So here's how I'm going to do this- I'm going to post excerpts from my journal entries (along with explanations of course) to hopefully help you to see each event and experience from my perspective, and just to get a little taste of my thoughts during the little moments. So here it goes!

Week One:

Monday, July 9th, 2012

"Today's the day! We are currently in the gate and going to board the plane to London in an hour. Oh man.
Traveling internationally + traveling with Teta (my grandma) & Aunt Houda = utter chaos. Dear Lord, help me. I feel bad for the airport attendants because we are so obnoxious. They should make a comedy about us in which my face does not appear. I love Teta, but traveling with her... oh man."

"It's 7:45 p.m. and we are now taking off to London! I have a whole row to myself which is nice ... Catherine just got back from Panama and she was telling me about her experience at an orphanage. I still really want to be involved in an orphanage, but I don't know how to be or if God wants me to be. I guess I should focus on what God is doing right now. He's allowing me to go to Lebanon to do who knows what for Him. I can't believe. I'm actually on the way. Right now. Crazy. Dear Lord, please help me to be useful for You and not to believe the devil's lies telling me that I'm inadequate. Please help me also not to believe the lies that I can do anything in my own strength. Help me to rely on YOU alone. Jesus, thanks for providing this all! YAY!"

Tuesday, July 10th, 2012

 "Just arrived to London a bit ago, and technically it's now July 10th here. It's about 9 a.m. London time, but 3 a.m. in my body clock/ Boston time. London. British stuff rocks: cool British accents, high class and BBC. The Heathrow airport has all sorts of people of all sorts of nationalities. I just saw a guy walk by and he had pigtails... interesting."

"I legitimately cannot believe that I am here now. It's incredible. Teta saw her brother, Khaloo (Uncle) Fousee, in the airport and she cried, so it made me a bit misty. The Beirut airport was packed tonight. The man who drove us from the airport seven years ago drove us again tonight. The drivers are hilariously insane and people walk on the side of the highway at night. The soldiers are everywhere and I smiled one at the airport to be friendly, but he didn't smile back. Aunt Farida says they're friendly though.
When we got to Teta's house we were greeted with hugs and kisses by a  group of people I don't know (all relatives). Then Uncle Fousee had us over and we had menaeesh (zataar baked onto dough) and baked Lebnee and they legitimately gave us a feast at 10:30 p.m. I am exhausted. It's midnight and I've barely slept, but I feel as though I need to document today's events first."

"What were my first thoughts in Lebanon? 'Wow. Everyone looks like me.' So weird! And so weird hearing Arabic everywhere. Dear Lord, make me useful for You. Help me to be wise. I have no idea what tomorrow holds but I'm sleeping and we'll find out."

Wednesday, July 11th, 2012

 "I slept like a rock for about 10 hours straight. It's weird having to constantly rmeind myself to not drink the water from the sink or to rinse with bottled water when I brush my teeth. Things I take for granted. The electricity goes out at random times, which is kind of cool. Everyone sleeps in late in the summers here, and it's a pretty slow-paced lifestyle. I like it."

"It's interesting.. the people who aren't working literally just hang out all day. That's what they do. They hang out with their families. That's what they do."

"The guy who drives around selling fresh fruits and vegetables, Ahmed, just came by and we bought lots of fresh apricots, plums, cucumbers, mitti, potatoes, etc. Cool stuff right there.
I find that the doors to everyone's houses are always open for two reasons: to cool down the house/circulate the air (because it's so ridiculously hot) and to allow people in the townn to come over whenever htey so wish. Once again, I like it. Open door policy. Right now I hear the Muslim prayers being sung outside. This town isn't Muslim, but nearing towns are. My Uncle Said just said that 'Life is easier in America.' In some ways I agree; we are so spoiled in the U.S. However, it's just different. Not better. Life is life, no matter how you live it or where you live it.
I'm convinced that this country is nocturnal. Everyone is AWOL because it's so hot. My guess is that it's high 90's, but the humidity is ridiculous. The sun is hot, the streets are dusty and the feeling is humid. I would much rather this than being cold, though. I really like it here. I think I could live pretty much anywhere as long as I was with people I love and a few brothers and sisters in Christ."

"I went to this event with a cousin hoping to start meeting people in the town, but the event turned out to be a Catholic service. As I sat in the pews listening to the priest drone in prayer, all I heard was sadness and ritual. Those in the audience seemed sincere and searching... The Catholic church bases its entire being in good deeds and ritual. They lit candles all around the church and although all of it was beautiful, it moved my heart for them. Vainly they worship and pray to God hoping it will be enough, and vainly they believe everything the priest tells them. Am I a slave to ritual in worshiping God or do my prayers have substance and truth? They seem so close to the truth. It's so difficult to speak Arabic, and when I try people look at me all weird if I make a mistake. My favorite is when they speak loudly and slowly so that I may understand their Arabic since I am apparently deaf and dumb."

"On the page before this, the verse at the bottom says 'Let your light so shine that they may see your good works.' I find this difficult to understand, because the Catholic church thrives on good works, yet there is no light. LORD, help them to see a difference in me and a light in the darkness."

 Thursday, July 12th, 2012

"It's about 5:30 a.m. here. I woke up from dogs howling outside or something. I'm not sure what they were. I'm sitting near the veranda now and just watching the sun rise. I think this is a great time to read the Bible. So, I have to say, my hair curls really well from the water and weather. I wonder if my body knows that this is the land of my heritage, therefore feeling right at home."

"I came here to serve, but I haven't once seen Pastor Pierre to see what I can do. Lord, help me out here.. I just have to remember that no one who comes into my path is a mistake, and interruptions are of God. ... Pastor Pierre and his family just came over now (that was fast). I'm realizing that all of this is going to be really difficult because it seems that walls are built between the Baptists and the Catholics. Walls are hard to tear down, but of course, God tore down Jericho by making the Israelites be obnoxious."

"I find that no matter where I go, I never fully belong. The only place I feel comfortable is in Christ and wherever He is please with me. Americans treat me like I'm not truly American (although I'm born & here and I speak the language better than most Americans, and the Lebanese treat me like I'm not Lebanese. Jesus means it when He says we are not of this world. NOTW. It's lonely sometimes on the outside, but it's also refreshing. I have freedom to be me rather than stuffing myself in a status quo. One good thing about this trip is getting forced to read with no internet constantly around me. The Bible is making this country a home. Today, Teta's leg has been killing her. She is in so much pain. I'm glad I'm here to help a little though or else Aunt Farida would have to do everything on her own. I feel like an elderly person, always hanging out with the elderly."

Friday, July 13th, 2012

"The young thrive on beauty and strength, but it passes. The young are physically capable, yet know little about life. The old are physically incapable, yet know much about life. I wonder if God created it this way on purpose so that there is no stage in life in which we must not fully rely on Him. Today I had to help Teta with things I've never seen her need help with before. I cried after by myself. Such a struggle. Teta is in so much pain in her knees so that things like standing up, sitting down, walking and bathing are extreme endeavors. I wonder if God sent me here partially to learn to be more selfless and serve those in complete need."

"Today I hung out with Teta and Aunt Jackline came over, and then I went to prayer meeting at the Baptist church that Gidoo (grandpa) started and pastored, which was so cool. It was awesome to get to worship, pray and sing with Lebanese believers. The man who spoke (who turns out is related to me- surprise, surprise), spoke about how salvation is more than just good works, but belief in God's grace."

Saturday, July 14th, 2012

"Today, I went to AWANA for the kids at the church. I didn't feel like I helped much because I have such a hard time speaking Arabic. It's so different and hard. I played some games with the kids though and met a girl my age who turns out is my cousin. She speaks both English and Arabic very well; it's so embarrassing and humbling to be unable to respond well, but I pray that God will help me catch on quickly and be confident in speech."

"I'm starting to feel a little bit lonely. No one can understand my broken Arabic nor wants to tolerate it. I feel just a little bit like an idiot. Maybe God is teaching me how to be silent and listen, because that's what I do every day. It's difficult when everyone thinks you're mute. I feel sort of like a fly on the wall, understanding everything fluently but unable to express my self vocally."

"Wow that was fast. I was about to sleep early cause I wasn't feeling that great, but then Maha (the friend that I met at AWANA) came with Mark and Matthew (two guys from the church) and we went to the jnanee (the garden). There I met a ton of English speaking people my age from the U.S., Canada, Australia and of course Lebanon. Dear Lord, please help me to share the gospel and spread your word. give me courage and strength. They all think I'm way younger than I am. Why is this?"

The first week was definitely a little bit rough due to not knowing anyone, being extremely self-conscious and discouraged about my Arabic and just getting a tad bit overwhelmed by the culture. By Saturday though, God brought people into my life and started allowing me to get a little more involved in the church, which was such a blessing. God's timing is always perfect and His ways are so much higher than my ways. Looking back, I now see why God made things happen certain ways and how everything worked out exactly how it was supposed to. So begins my journey about learning about God's sovereignty and complete control. First weeks are always a little bit awkward, but I'm so thankful for everything God did that first week and the time I was able to spend praying, studying the Bible, getting to know the town a little bit and getting to spend a lot of time with my grandmother, my uncle and my aunt.


So concludes the first week in Lebanon =).