"Be yourself." --a phrase we're often told by our parents on our first day of school, or what we are told when we are worried what people will think of us.
On the long, but wonderful drive back to school (for my last year of college!), I was thinking about this phrase for some reason. I guess as I pondered a new year with new people, I automatically gave myself that pre-return pep-talk of "Don't be nervous! Just be yourself!"
Then emerged the "thinker" in me.
What does that even mean? What does it mean to "be myself?"
Who am I?... and is it worth being? Who should I be?
As these questions flooded my mind, I started to tense up. As I asked these questions, the answers were not what I had hoped. I remembered who I was, who I have been and who I can be at times, and fear swept over me.
If I were to look at myself for all that I am, what would I see?
An outgoing girl who pretends to be confident but is eaten by insecurity too often.
A selfish girl whose even seemingly selfless deeds can really be done for personal gain.
A clueless girl who thinks she knows what's best for her life but never actually knows.
A sinful girl.
If I were to look at myself for all that I am, I would see a depressing portrait.
But, when I look at myself for who I am in Christ, the picture changes dramatically.
The characteristics I am most "proud of" and the times I most fondly remember are the ones that did not actually involve myself at all.
"My" good characters are only the ones that come out when I am living for the glory of God, the Holy Spirit working powerfully in my life and through my life. My redeemed self, the self that has been crucified with Christ and has carried my cross as a disciple of Jesus, that is the best self I can be.
The best side of me is the side that shines Jesus.
The best side of me IS Jesus.
I don't want to be myself. I want to be like Christ.
I want to be the world's taste of Jesus- the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13).
I want to be the world's glimpse of the Light in a world of darkness (Matthew 5:14-16).
When I act as the hands and feet of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:27), when I shine the light of JESUS through this world, it is then that I have reached my fullest self, because I have found myself in Christ.
It is then that I am who I want to be: Christ in me, the hope of glory (Colossians 1).
On the long, but wonderful drive back to school (for my last year of college!), I was thinking about this phrase for some reason. I guess as I pondered a new year with new people, I automatically gave myself that pre-return pep-talk of "Don't be nervous! Just be yourself!"
Then emerged the "thinker" in me.
What does that even mean? What does it mean to "be myself?"
Who am I?... and is it worth being? Who should I be?
As these questions flooded my mind, I started to tense up. As I asked these questions, the answers were not what I had hoped. I remembered who I was, who I have been and who I can be at times, and fear swept over me.
If I were to look at myself for all that I am, what would I see?
An outgoing girl who pretends to be confident but is eaten by insecurity too often.
A selfish girl whose even seemingly selfless deeds can really be done for personal gain.
A clueless girl who thinks she knows what's best for her life but never actually knows.
A sinful girl.
A girl who needs a Savior daily. Hourly. All the time.
If I were to look at myself for all that I am, I would see a depressing portrait.
But, when I look at myself for who I am in Christ, the picture changes dramatically.
The characteristics I am most "proud of" and the times I most fondly remember are the ones that did not actually involve myself at all.
"My" good characters are only the ones that come out when I am living for the glory of God, the Holy Spirit working powerfully in my life and through my life. My redeemed self, the self that has been crucified with Christ and has carried my cross as a disciple of Jesus, that is the best self I can be.
The best side of me is the side that shines Jesus.
The best side of me IS Jesus.
I don't want to be myself. I want to be like Christ.
I want to be the world's taste of Jesus- the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13).
I want to be the world's glimpse of the Light in a world of darkness (Matthew 5:14-16).
When I act as the hands and feet of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:27), when I shine the light of JESUS through this world, it is then that I have reached my fullest self, because I have found myself in Christ.
It is then that I am who I want to be: Christ in me, the hope of glory (Colossians 1).
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