The truth is...

The truth is, life is not ideal.
We dream of true love. We dream of wealth. We dream of picture-perfect picket fences outside three bedroom houses which beckon us into a perfect life.
Dreams are swell. Dreams are what keep us going... we think.

The superficial requirements of every day life slap us across the face every time we begin to ponder our meaning- our purpose. Stuff. What is stuff? Stuff is what consumes us in our digital age of materialism. The newest itouch. The fanciest car. The craziest gaming system. The most efficient product.

Sorry to break it to you, 2011, but this seemingly flawless society we live in is not so perfect after all.

As we come into 2012, I think.
This very well could be dangerous, especially in the world we live in.

We strive so desperately to fit into the ever-developing place we call earth. We long to find purpose within the circles of people surrounding us. We wish to be able to fully rely on a human being for our entire lives, never having to experience failure or disappointment. No mistakes. No arguments. Just perfection.

The truth is, human beings contain no perfection. Products contain no perfection, no fulfillment.
Jesus Christ is perfection. He is fulfillment.
The truth is, we may not get our picket fence, but who needs it? Who needs the clutter of materialism... who needs the burden of finding meaning?

Search no more for meaning, because it is here. Jesus Christ.
He has provided us with imperfect relationships, amplifying His beauty, perfection and complete love.
He has created us to grow, to form friendships, to learn how to love, to progress, to discover.
He has designed us to be able to fail and try again so that when we succeed, we may appreciate it.
He has fashioned us to step out of the box- beyond the superficial cookie-cutter desires, past the typical dreams of selfish fulfillment, and into the arms of our Lord- striving for HIS desires.

The truth is, life isn't ideal. God is. HE is.

A Blog About Retail

I work in retail while at home. It's Christmastime... we know what that means! Story time!
With much pain and suffering comes many worthy anecdotes. 
I feel as though retail at least deserves that. Anecdotes.

As I sit here, relaxing after my fourth day back after a year, I ponder my daily eight-hour-adventures in the layer of hostile individuals (customers). Being thrown on the floor by myself the first day in the mad rush of holiday cheer (is that what they're calling it these days?) means they must either really hate me or really trust me. Maybe both?

So.. maybe you wonder about the types of people I encounter during the holiday season?
Don't be fooled by the mass of people swarming through the mall- they are not all the same. In fact, there's a variety of categories that retail workers are able to place each individual customer in.
Let me enlighten you.

1. The hurried mother with the screaming baby
2. The cute old couple that don't hear very well, but just smile and nod at everything you say
3. The ones that don't speak English and just smile awkwardly and say "no" to everything
4. The obnoxious group of teenaged boys that flirt with any girl they come in contact with
5. The angry middle-aged woman who won't make eye contact with you
6. The friendly family who stands and makes small talk
7. The individual who begins the transaction with "The answer is NO TO EVERYTHING! How much do I owe you?"
8. The customer who swipes their card over and over before you are done scanning the items, and when you tell them that you must total up the transaction, they say "Oh." and proceed to swipe their card.
9. The customer who not only doesn't speak English, but also decides that they want to pay for 13 pairs of shoes in pennies and nickles alone. Yes, this happened to me.

That pretty much covers most of the different types of customers.

I must also mention the array of co-workers.. 
-Ones who don't know how to interact with customers.
-16-year-old boys who have the guts to flirt with their 20-year-old co-worker.
-That one manager who says things like "Why are you getting a break before me? You make like nothing." (I replied with, "Wow. You got some arrogance there don't ya?" .. that shut her up- a once in a lifetime occurrence. It was fantastic.)
-The teenaged girl who comes in late every day to work, chews their gum obnoxiously to the customers and says "I'm not cleaning that. I am too tired."
-The hilarious, awesome ones who make the day go by faster.
-The elderly, angry ones who yell at customers (also hilarious).
-The coworkers that don't speak English.. and therefore are impossible to get help from.
-And of course, last, but not least, the awesome manager that is actually encouraging and respectful.


I joke, but in reality, I've learned so much about life and interaction with people through this job. 
I've learned that most people just need a smile to melt whatever stresses are on their mind.
I've learned that I can't really be angry at someone if they're being a bit rude- I don't know their story.
I've learned that there will always be the power-hungry managers who feel the need to stomp on their employees to make themselves feel important.
I've learned that it's alright to make mistakes. It happens.
I've learned that one can make even the most unnecessary objects sound intriguing and useful.
I've learned that credit cards are horrible inventions.
I've learned that people need Jesus Christ. Big time.
I've learned that I may be the only Bible people may read. A good attitude is detrimental.
I've learned that using words like "detrimental" makes customers happy.
I've learned that retail is a world of its own. One must study out the world to live in it successfully.

 The life lessons go on, and I'm thankful for them. I'm thankful for the rushed, hostile environment- it brings out the worst and best in people, and sometimes that's what is needed to understand the world a little bit better.

Chapters

Tonight I read the first few pages of my current journal which was started my senior year of high school (only a few pages left until I move onto another journal.. can't believe it).

My how things have changed... for better and worse, but mostly for better. Reading about the people who once were prevalent in my life but are now shadows of the past, reminiscing of all the good and bad times we had and seeing where we all are today- just another method of seeing God's consistency in my life through it all.

I genuinely cannot believe that I have just finished the first semester of my sophomore year of college. I am officially scared to blink. It seems like just yesterday I was a silly elementary school girl who pictured high school students to be the epitome of adulthood. Little did I know...
It scares me that how I viewed high school and college is how I now view the rest of my life- so far in the future. Non-existent. Impossible. An enigma. 
The truth is, real life is not far away. I may still be a student, but I am an adult now and rapidly approaching the rest of my life. In exactly one month I will be twenty- the age I thought I would never reach. God willing, I will look back and say "at twenty I was so young and foolish," but for now I stand and say, "I cannot believe I have lived for two decades."

Life. How it passes. Such a vapor; such a ripple. I pray that I will not take any moment for granted, but that every phase of my life will be a time to remember. Ok, this is all pretty cheesy, I know, but if we don't think about these things, I think it's easy to pass through life, never really understanding.
To dwell in the past is to miss the present.
To miss the present is to ruin the future.
To dwell on the future is to ignore the present.
To ignore the present is to forget the past.
It's all one big cycle- one I don't want to ever get caught up in.



I have to say, I am genuinely scared to pull out my old journals from junior high and the rest of high school. Let's not even bring up the content in my elementary school journals. However, no matter how petty the topics and how silly my perspective, I am glad I have kept journals throughout my life.

I see into pieces of myself that I never knew existed, forcing myself to step out of my own world, pretending to be an outside reader of life's novel. One thing that journaling has taught me: everyone has a story and everyone's stories matter, so write it down. 
I read through the chapters where God lead me through dark deserts
as I searched for myself and ultimately, for Him.
I read through the chapters where I lived my life convincing myself I was in the right,
when really I was not.
I read through the chapters where God stripped my pride, forcing me to see myself as I was.
I read through the chapters where God holds me close, showing me Himself
and the value I hold in Him.
I read through the chapters where I have reached a point of satisfaction in God.

Chapter after chapter, I see myself.. but really I see God's work in me.
I see the growth that took place, and I see the growth that needed to take place but never fully did. I see situations that happened years ago that are just now molding me into who I should be.
Through it all, I see God's grace.
I see God's goodness.
I see God's faithfulness.
I see God's love.
I see God.

My point? Please journal. It's just another way to prove that God can be worshiped and praised through any form of talent or hobby. To get to know God better is to get to know His creation and the interaction He has with them. Sometimes the creation one must analyze is himself.

God bless,
Daisy Wolf

Letting Go to Hold On

It's perfectly amazing how God answers prayer and in the most interesting methods possible, mind you.

Those of you who happen to have kept up with my previous blogs, this semester God has been teaching me how to view HIM as my best friend, rather than people, and to be satisfied in Him. He brought to the surface my habits of making people into idols and focusing so much on my relationships with people rather than with HIM.

To remove me from this difficult place, God chose to bring me closer to Him through loneliness. He stripped down layer after layer of comfortable relationships, leaving me with the feeling that I had no one (even if I did). I know now that I had to go through that dark place so that I could see Jesus Christ as my one Light in this world, releasing my grip on the people in my life so that I could hold onto Him with both hands.

That being said, God has faithfully brought me back to the place of reliance on Him and satisfaction in who He is. While I have so much room to grow, there has been movement out of my previous state, and I thank God for even the baby steps.

In this place I am in now, God has slowly brought people into my life, encouraging me spiritually and emotionally. Now that I am refocused on God and not on people, I am seeing more and more of God's love in people rather than just the people themselves. One of the hardest aspects for me to grasp regarding God is not being able to physically touch Him and have Him to hold me in His arms when I am feeling alone. I now see that the way we interact with God physically is through other believer's love when He shines through them in their lives.

I am so thankful for the people that God has placed in my life so that I may see God's love in flesh. God knows what I need based on who He's created me to be- my personality, my likes, my dislikes, my hopes and my dreams. Jesus Christ continues to bring people into my life on a daily basis. It has come to the point that every time I feel loneliness coming on, God places someone in my pathway (literally) and I have a friend for the specific moment that I need it.

It's incredible, and I am so thankful.
So each of you who is involved in my life right now, I hope you know that you are an instrument of God being used in my life, and I love you. I'm thankful for you.

God is good all the time. The hard times are so worth it.

God Bless,
Daisy Wolf

I'd rather be single then settle

So, it's happened. I have made a list of what I must have in a future spouse. What have I realized from this list? I am picky. Will I find a guy that will fulfill my "must-haves?" Probably not. Just kidding.. I think.

At a university that pushes getting married at a young age and finding "God's choice for you," I feel as though it's so easy to convince myself that "anyone will do." I then must slap myself brutally in the face to remind myself that this viewpoint will result in a miserable marriage filled with an "if-only" mentality. I don't want to settle. I don't want to find myself married to someone I don't want to be married to. I want who God wants for me, but somehow I don't believe that God wills for me to simply marry because it's what is expected of me.

I know what you're thinking.. "Marriage? You're not even dating."
Why would I date someone who didn't possess the qualities of someone I would consider marrying?
I know some people find this ridiculous, but that's ok. I don't make decisions based on other people's view of "the norm." Sometimes the norm isn't effective. Sometimes the norm is a broken system.

So I have come to the conclusion that although I may never end up getting married because of my standards, I am okay with that... because I would most definitely rather be single than settle.

Will this be an easy mentality to maintain? Probably not. Will it be worth it? Absolutely.

I know that God will take care of me, whether I am single or married. If God wants me to get married, He will bring someone into my life who will be right for me. I trust Him. When it all comes down to it, people don't suffice. All that matters in my life is having Christ, and well, I have Him. So, I'm all set, whether He provides a man for me or not.

There ya go.. a little bit of insight into my soul.

P.S. I figured something out:
To share your feelings to the fullest, pray. After that, blog.

A Christmas Post

Christmas music everywhere we go, lights over-taking the center of campus, and a giant Christmas spectacular .. and they wonder why we can't focus on our finals.
It seems that all year long the work load seems to pile up, but come finals week, life's enjoyments seem to become new again as the end of the hard work is approaching (temporarily, anyway).
I love this time of year.. but who doesn't? Christmas productions all over the place, shiny and bright objects, glitter, bells, warm coats, fireplaces, snowman-shaped cookies, decorations galore.

However, I fear that I am probably the only one on the planet who hates the whole gifts part of Christmas. Am I abnormal? Probably.

My logic behind this feeling:
- Awkward gift exchanges
- Not knowing what to get people
- Over-priced everything, when I am currently a poor college student
- Crazy stores everywhere = stress
- The pressure behind the gift giving; that "they don't like me because they didn't get me something" mentality; basing relationships on the gifts
- Getting so caught up in the gifts, not giving the true meaning of Christmas the attention it deserves (our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ) and not just enjoying the simplicity of family time.

Forgive me if you disagree, but that's how it goes in my mind.
I'm guessing gift-giving is just not one of my main love languages (don't get me wrong- if someone I really care about gets me something meaningful that shows they actually know me, I get giddy. There's no denying that).

What's my favorite part of this whole season?  

- Jesus is amazing.
Just another time to remember the most incredible gift ever given- God leaving His glory in heaven to live among men in a corrupt world to save us. Grace- Jesus Christ giving us what we don't deserve- Life.

- Music everywhere 
 Why is it that the rest of the year, you don't find groups of people sing together, knowing all the words by heart and bonding through the joy of music? Someone should mend this problem, and they should do it as soon as possible.
- Everyone's in a better mood
Something about this time of year brings people together, lifts people's spirits, and creates an overall joyous occasion. Chipper, cheery, sweet, bright.. whatever you want to call it.
- Family time
This is pretty self explanatory.
- Dressing up
I don't know about the rest of the world, but I'm particularly fond of getting to wear pretty Christmas-colored outfits with cute hair bows and colorful jewelry. The girly-ness in me is appeased this time of year.
- Delicious baked goods
Alrighty. This could be the top on my list.. but that's debatable. Chocolate cookies, pies, cakes, cheescakes... bring it all on. Chocolate everything. Just yes.
- Christmas pageants and programs galore
Who doesn't love the free, cheesy entertainment? Just kidding, it's cute, it really is.
- Christmas movies
Need I say more?

The list goes on, but I will stop here.

20 DAYS!