Two Finals Away

Where did this year even go? Freshman year of college.. finished?

It seems like yesterday I was a freshman in high school, yet now I'm two finals away from being a sophomore in college. It's a crazy feeling, hovering between excitement and sadness. Moving on in life, growing up, getting older. It's all so bittersweet.

In terms of the present, summer is fun and exciting, and no school work is fabulous, but spending three months away from these people whom I have become best friends with and have grown so much with this year is incredibly hard and slightly depressing. I'm glad to be going home to see my family and the friends I've grown up with, but it's weird going from a new chapter in life partially back to the old one.
In terms of the future, growing up and having more freedom is one of the best feelings ever, yet letting go of the past is one of the worst feelings ever.

Next year is going to be so different rooming with new people and being on a completely different hall with completely different leadership. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to meet new people, be part of a seemingly incredible leadership team, and grow close to another circle of people, but this year and right now is what I know of college. College is this part of campus, this dorm, this room, with these roommates. Or so I think. I'll say it right now- change is frightening. Change is also fascinating and unusual, and I will never understand my feelings towards it. It's probably better that way.

..Now to go clean out my closet and desk. Sad day.

God bless :]

Updates&Things

These last few weeks of school have been incredible. It's crazy how much things change in a month, don't you think? My weeks have been filled with so many end-of-the-year shenanigans, and I know that these memories I've made will last forever. Easter break was probably the most amazing weekend of my college career. It began sort of on the sad side, with the inability to be home for Easter and such. As the week progressed, I was able to spend time with some ladies whom I have been friends with all year, but somehow got much closer to over the weekend. I am definitely blessed with awesome friends, and Easter weekend made that obvious!

Easter day was definitely like no other this year. A roadtrip to a lake with friends and tunes definitely is something new for Easter Sunday.. a good new though. The drive was awesome, the sun brighter than ever and the wind obnoxiously throwing around my curly hair (which were mostly just tangles by the end of the day). When we arrived, we had almost the entire beach to ourselves. The four of us set out our towels and just enjoyed the sun and the sounds of nature (until we got some more tunes going eventually). The water was freezing, but something about it was so crisp and refreshing that it didn't even matter. Things always seem warmer and more enjoyable with good friends. Question: Why are sandwiches some how the most delicious food on earth when at a beach-like environment? I don't think I'll ever know the answer to this, but that's fine with me. Sometimes the most simple mysteries create comforts in the most random situations. Anyway, in general the time was awesome and we achieved some pretty great tans. Yes, tans are an achievement.
In addition to that, I saw Easter in a completely new light this year. My perspective on Easter will probably never be the same, and I know I needed to be away from family, good food, and my home church in order to find that out. Within the comforts of home and my church, the incredible meaning of the cross and it's power seem to become fuzzy. I wrote a blog about what I learned this Easter a few days ago, so please see.. whatever day it is I wrote that.

This past week consisted of classes, speeches, and the usual randomness of college life. Tuesday night began the our hall's challenge of "no junk food for a week," which has been way more difficult than I expected. I accomplished the no junk food on Wednesday and Thursday, but Friday and Saturday failed. Today I've done well with it, but we'll see how tomorrow and Tuesday go. Why is junk food so difficult to give up? On top of that, what is even considered junk food? I feel like most of what American's eat is junk anyway, so what are we to do? Stop eating in general? I'm thinking a change in diet is in order pretty soon. We'll see what happens. Last Wednesday night's Campus Church involved over 50 baptisms (proclaimed professions of Christ) which is always awesome to witness and brings on tons of celebration here at my school. I've been going the gym a lot this week. I went Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, and it was fabulous. Painful, but fabulous. I really hope I keep fit this summer the month I'm home. I know that I'll be constantly active at camp, but if I don't keep it up the month I'm home, I'm going to be a panting, out-of-shape mess as I attempt to keep up with insane 12 year olds at camp.
I feel like I write anymore I may burn out you guys eyes.. so I will stop now.
So, those are the happenings.

A 50 Minute Math Class

My notes during class on Friday....


Dear Kristen,
I really liked reading your little English 102 thought pattern thing, and it just re-reminded me about how much I love you and how *special* you truly are ;]. So I am currently in the most pointless Math class ever. I am not actually learning anything, which is unfortunate. So what am I thinking right now? Here goes nothing:

1. My teacher really has broken a world record for "wearing the same shirt for an entire semester."
2. There are lots of x's and y's on the board...
3. I probably should not have daydreamed until AFTER he said "this will all be on the test."
4. Good thing I've learned this better on my own anyway...
5. I'm wearing cool rings! I think I want more.
6. He talks about pacman a lot. I'm not sure how that relates to math.
7. I miss Mrs. Boutrus and her ability to teach...
8. Ah! It's Friday! Friday! Gotta get down on Friday! Everybody is looking forward to the weekend.. Partyin' Partyin', YEAH! Anyway....
9. *Blank stare*
10. Woah! I just learned something! In math! In class! Just now! The teacher explained it! ohhh happy day.
11. Wow, this is moving to the back page now. Score.
12. Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday, Today, it is Friday, Friday... we so excited!
13. Sorry I keep quoting Rebecca Black. The unfortunateness about such an awful song is that it gets stuck in your head...
14. I just want this class to end so I can go to English class.. because I love English. My class is awesome.
15. I am way to hyper to be in Math.
16. The weather is pretty.
17. 10 minutes.
18. In convocation they talked about a wolf dying. I got sad.
19. I've been working out. I am so sore. Will I have muscles soon? Yes. Will my tummy be toned? You betcha.
20. My teacher yelled "Aw, steak!" in frustration. It may have been "Oh, stink." But I like steak better.
21. Matrix shouldn't be in this class. Rated R movies aren't allowed here. Tisk Tisk.
22. I feel like this is a riddle I don't want to solve.
23. I miss Kristen and Bethany.
24. I saw a girl wearing a cape today and it reminded me of Kristen.
25. I haven't watched Homestar Runner in a while. I should.
26. This is really long. No one will probably enjoy this.. except Kristen. And Bethany. and Carla. and probably Catherine and Laura. Ok so, some people may enjoy this.
KITSOVER! Bye!


That's what I learned in Math on Friday.

JSYK- Just So You Know (Please see #7)

Just so you all know, this blog is going to be very scattered and random, because I have a lot to say (what's new), so prepare yourself for a little piece of A.D.D.

Current struggles:
1. Not being satisfied with who I am/ Not finding my entire identity in Christ
2. Being apathetic to school work.

Recently, I've been really struggling to be satisfied with who I am, both physically and socially. For every girl reading this, you know those days when you look in the mirror and you just feel like you're not as pretty as you'd like? When you feel like every guy has just looked directly past you to see the prettier girl behind you? When you just wish someone would notice you? Well, for me, it's been one of those months.
I have realized, however, that months like these are required in my life to keep me on track spiritually. To understand my lack of worth from looks and physical talents is to understand my ultimate worth in Christ. The physical does not make me who I am; the physical just allows me to serve God out loud. My looks do not define me; my looks make me a unique creation of God, but that is as far is it goes.
Who am I?
I am a child of God.
I am a temple of the Holy Spirit.
I am a woman seeking to please God and grow closer to Him.
I am a human being on a mission to reach others for eternity.
I am more than what I look like or what I can do- I am who God has made me and what He leads me through.


Schoolwork. 2 weeks. I can do this. Apathy? Yes, it's happening. Can I let it happen? No! Should I keep going? Yes! Finish hard. Win the race. Ace it all. That is all.


Current loves:
1. Amazing, godly girl friends!
2. Lake time.
3. Two weeks left of school.
4. That I'm going to be a prayer leader next year.
5. Getting tan again
6. Going to the gym with my roommate
7. Typing "jsyk" after every sentence and it making up an entire conversation with one of my best friends (jsyk).
8. The fact that I'm going to be working at a ranch this summer.. and on top of that with Mary Anna!
9. The fact that the Rot is getting significantly better... I like it a lot.
10. Wearing dresses.

Ok, so this blog wasn't as A.D.D. as I thought it would be! Only slightly! That's a plus. Go me!
God Bless & I love you all :]

An Easter Blog

Well, the homesickness is really hitting me now with half of the campus gone for Easter break while I spend my first Easter away from home at a church that isn't my home church.

Most Easters, my family would turn on the Jesus film, which gives the life of Jesus according to the gospel of John. Since I can't be home, I decided to watch the Jesus movie on my own here at school to keep up some family traditions and give myself a little taste of home on Easter. While reading the Bible is always incredible and penetrates my heart whenever I read it, being able to have a visual aid in movie form on the life of Jesus is such a blessing. There's something about this movie which really helps me in feeling as though I am right there with Jesus Christ, experiencing what He experienced, witnessing His incredible miracles, watching God in the form of a man pouring His heart out to those in need, which really tears at my heart. It really helps it all come alive in my mind. The more I watch this word-for-word account of Jesus' life from John's perspective, the more it reminds me of Christ's unfailing love for the world, even in the midst of sin and destruction.

One scene which really pierces my heart is when Mary Magdalene, a prostitute comes into the house where Jesus is visiting and wipes His feet with her tears and hair in complete repentance and sorrow of her lifestyle. The people eating with Jesus all scatter as if she is inhumane and refuse to be near her. Instead of doing the same, Jesus sympathetically lifts her up off the ground and tells her to "Go and sin no more." What really struck me is the complete and utter forgiveness Jesus Christ has for her. Even in His holiness, He does not refuse to see her, but compassionately reaches out to her and shows her complete love and forgiveness. One thing we often forget is His telling her to "sin no more." Christ does not simply overlook her sin and continue on, but addresses her sin, tells her to change and live for Him, then completely forgives her, allowing her to have new life in Him. This entire scenario completely blows my mind. The hope that every person has, no matter the past sins he or she has committed, is so real and beautiful. Because of Jesus Christ, we can come to God as lost sinners and leave as new, beautiful creations in Him.

God has really been showing me SO much this Easter, and while it's been so difficult to be away from home, I have realized that Jesus Christ is still risen no matter where I celebrate it. Jesus still conquered death no matter who we are or who we're remembering it with. God is still God, and we are still utterly blessed by the unspeakable gift of salvation. Christ is still the conqueror over death and Satan has still lost.

Thank you, Jesus, for being the best friend anyone could ask for and the most incredible Savior!
 This has definitely been one Easter to remember :].

HAPPY EASTER and God bless!!! He is alive :].