We Call it Living

I haven't been doing a very good job of writing these days, but I haven't had much to write about. What is there to say in regards to the mass amounts of school work I have to do, the many SLD interviews I've had to go through for my next year as an RA and the sleeping I do (if I can).

The cycle-like times in life force me to reevaluate who I am and remind myself that there's more to life than just getting through. It's so terrifyingly simple to fall in that mundane pattern of living, where life is just what you do. And yes, life can be monotonous sometimes, but God is to be glorified in EVERYTHING we do.
Everything. 
Even what we eat.
Or what we think.
Or how we respond.
Or how much effort we put into our tasks.
Or what we say.
Or what attitude we have.
Or why we do what we do.

These little everythings... they make one big something.
These details seem to swallow up our attention and transform us into mindless zombies, our brains hanging out and our goal to remove of other people's brains (in a sense) as well.
Instead living life well, we just drone on with no life at all and bring everyone else down with us.
The big picture slides out of view and purpose on this earth rests in a fog.
A motionless, thick, ever-hovering fog.

Who we are, why we're here, Who we serve, how we're here. 

The big picture.

We forget. 

I'm talking to myself right now, in case you're wondering. I usually am in my blog posts, though.. so you probably figured.

Seriously though-- is this how God called us to live? Mediocre and mundane? False.
God called us to live life extraordinarily. We're not just people. We're GOD'S CHILDREN. We were bought with a price. We are here to glorify GOD. We are here to tell people about Jesus. We are alive because of JESUS!

1 Corinthians 10:31
"Therefore whether you eat or drink, or  

whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, 

whom you have from God, and you are not your own?  

For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s."

1 John 4:4

"You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, 

because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world."

Matthew 28:19-20

"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; 

and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age. Amen."

When Jesus gave us life, He did not give us life to waste, but to LIVE. 

He gave us life so that the little things in our life would ultimately fulfill God's will. 

These little things? They're not meaningless. They belong to GOD. 

All of these little things, make up something big. 

So, friends, let us live our lives in love with Jesus, 
knowing that we are here to glorify God.
Knowing that we are God's, purchased by Him.
Knowing that He is in us and GREATER.
Knowing that He is with us always.

Grand Romance

I've been thinking about the church and the day that we will be brought to the side of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  I've been thinking about how, on that day, we no longer will face the struggle of idolizing human beings because our eyes will finally be opened. This ridiculous fascination we have with flawed man will no longer exist, but rather we will be perfect and complete, face-to-face with our Savior. His glory will be all that we see, and we no longer will be blinded by darkness.

It's one giant, magnificent love story. You don't have to be a romantic to appreciate the fact that we were lost, Jesus Christ sacrificed everything because He loves the world, and though we must be separated for a time, we will one day be reunited with our True Love.

We're all part of a grand romance. 

Jesus is the hero. We are the damsels in distress.

The plot is filled with undeserving love, sacrifice, forgiveness,
loyalty, protection and life-long companionship.

All other romantic movies, books, plays, stories.. you name it..
they are all plagiarized. In fact, love itself is plagiarized. 

Jesus Christ is the original knight in shining armor. He is the first initiator of a relationship
and the only perfect relationship-participant. 

The Bible is the ideal romantic novel.
As we await the coming of our bridegroom, we must prepare ourselves, making the most of our time on earth. The wedding must not be missed, and our hearts must be ready.

Faith of Abraham

I watched the two episodes of the new "The Bible" TV series this week. I know, I was a couple weeks late, but better late than never. Honestly, I'm pretty impressed how accurate it was (despite its few inaccuracies.. which was expected).

I am really encouraged by this show. The fact that God's Word is being spread (and that it is the number one show on television right now) is incredible. Though people are constantly seeking to disprove the Bible and are continually tearing it down, they still display a HUNGER for it's truths. They know, but they won't admit. That's another tangent though...

I really loved the parts with Abraham and Sarah. I can't even imagine the struggles they faced and the tests they overcame, proving their faith in God. Is it bad that I'm encouraged by their failures? Well, I'll admit that I am. These giants of faith, God's beloved people, still failed to trust God.

Sarah laughed when God told her that she would have a child in her old age (Genesis 18:12), and Abraham took matters into his own hands and had sexual relations with his handmaiden to have a son, when God clearly told him that a great nation would come from him and Sarah.
 
Yet, despite their lack of faith, God used Abraham and Sarah. God loved them, and He showed that He loved them through testing them. I know that sounds weird, and to our finite minds, yeah, it's pretty weird. However, through these tests, God gave them second chances to show their faith in Him.

The scene in "The Bible" (the TV show.. and the actual Book) where God calls Abraham to sacrifice His son gets me every time. Imagine the amount of faith that would take to sacrifice your son (especially when they had waited to so long for God to provide him). Wow.

Do I have that much faith?
If God asked me to do that, would I?

My prayer is that my faith would be like the faith of Abraham and Sarah, even if that means I'm going to fail sometimes and even if that means God will ask me to do strange and difficult things.

My life in a disney analogy

I feel like my entire life has been me struggling with God, telling Him I trust Him but not actually letting go of my desires. I don't think I've even really passed this point, and I wonder sometimes if I ever will. I pray that God will give me enough faith to take Him at His word and just go with His will or wait on Him when His will has yet to be revealed. Why is it so hard? The moment I give something up to God, I refuse to let go of something else.
It's like this crazy cycle of  Peter-syndrome: [[when Jesus called Peter to walk on the water, Peter did at first, until he saw the intensity of the waves. So maybe we've never actually physically attempted to walk on water, but in reality, God calls us to walk out on the waters of faith daily. Like Peter, I more than often sink as my eyes shift away from Jesus and towards the waves.]]

I don't normally like to compare my relationship with God to Disney movies, but what immediately comes to mind in this situation is the phrase, "Do you trust me?"

"Do you trust me?"

Ok, before I get a bunch of angry-mob-comments about me comparing Aladdin to God, I obviously do not think Aladdin is even on the same spectrum as God.
This is simply an analogy, so keep your Jesus jukes on the shelf for next time.

Anyway, sometimes I feel like Jasmin (not just because of our common Middle Eastern ethnicity.. but that's also a reason) (...also, I do not support her clothing choices.. sorry, I'm not about that).
It's like God is telling me to go on a magic carpet ride (ok, I can't help but laugh out loud while writing this... this analogy is ridiculous...), but I'm often hesitant and sometimes miss out on the wonders of His glory (I'm still laughing at the nerdiness that is this analogy...)
("Take you wonder by wonder, over, sideways and under on a magic carpet ride... a whole newwww worlddddd...").
Disclaimer: let's also just ignore the fact that Aladdin lies a lot, and God NEVER lies or lets us down.. but that's not the point I'm trying to make.

Bet you won't be able to watch Aladdin without thinking about this now, right?
Mission accomplished.

Really though, if there's one thing I've learned from all of this, it's that when I give God complete control of my life and decisions, I never have regrets. I may not immediately be "happy" by the world's standards (such misconceptions of happiness), but I am never sitting in regret. Ever. The only time I ever have regrets or that "unsettled" feeling is when I am fighting God's will.

I don't want to live in the regret of lacking in faith, wondering what my life would be like if I just went out onto the magic carpet (haha) or walked out onto the water.
Lord, give me the faith to take risks in Your will and to wait, even if it means being uncomfortable.

Fresh Eyes

I met my nephew today, and it was more incredible than I anticipated.

I remember when my sister used to dream of the day she would find the man God wanted her to be with. I remember when she watched her friends getting married and having children, and I remember seeing that longing in her.
Now it's here.
God has blessed her with an awesome husband and a beautiful baby boy.

I don't think I've been happier for anyone in my entire life.
I don't think I have ever loved a baby this much in my entire life, either.

Today, I held Kyle, and he looked up at me in all of his innocence, soaking in the world around him.
I wonder what he sees when he sees the world?

I don't know what he's thinking, but I know that I'm thinking that I serve a powerful and beautiful God who forms the most incredible beings and creatures. I serve a God who hand-makes humans to be unique and individual. There is no other copy of this Kyle. There is no other me. There is no other you.

As he looked up at me, straining to keep his eyes open, my heart worshipped God. I don't think I really even knew it at the time fully, but it happened. I was in awe at this new human. It's not like I've never seen a baby before, but I don't know. This is different. It's my sister's son... and he's here.
Sometimes, the Lord's provision has nothing to do with finances, health or safety.
Sometimes, the Lord provides people. 

Sometimes, the Lord provides little people to tug at your heart and make you thankful for life.
Sometimes, the Lord provides innocence and beauty.
Fresh eyes.

Thankfulness for the past. Appreciation of the present.
Hope for the future.

How do newborns spark this sort of awakening?

All I know is that God is a good God and that amidst a world of chaos and darkness, He provides peace and light.

Baby Kyle, minus the full beard.

As of February 28th, I am an aunt (not pronounced like the insect).

Basically, I cannot contain my excitement and generally tell everyone I see. I don't know half of them (well.... I do now. Even the lady who works at the dining hall... We're friends now, and she asks to see pictures of the little tyke).

My sister, Grace, texted me every now and then on Wednesday, updating me on her current "situation." (I will avoid details for your own sake). As the afternoon approached, so did baby's arrival. Grace texted me with a "Pray for me. Kurt's taking me to the hospital." 
Of course, I was restless from that point on.
School work? Yeah whatever.

Around 9:30 p.m., text updates from my mom begin to filter in.
"Grace is doing breathing exercises."
"Grace is now walking a little bit in the hallway with Kurt upon the doctor's instructions."
"...We have to go to the waiting room now." (which was the cue that the time was approaching)

It was around this time that I started to get really sad that I couldn't be there with my sister. Her life is changing forever, and I'm here at school. Eating peanut butter and writing articles about the housing industry. I guess that's life sometimes.

The night went on, and my focus was officially wounded. It hasn't fully recovered since then.

I attempted to get to bed around 1:30 a.m. Thursday morning (to no avail). Prayers for my sister and the baby were all that were going through my mind... and for Kurt too. I mean, I can't imagine how traumatizing this must be for a husband... I don't really want to know right now.
Due to my restlessness, I decided I would scroll through my non-phone iPhone (I'll explain this to you sometime) and see if the social media world could distract me.
What happened next will probably go down in the history books of our family.
Here is the exact Facebook message from my cousin Simon (who is also away at college):
Simon: "GRACE HAD THE BABY!?!?!"
Me: "She's in labor right now!!"
Simon: "DETAILS."
Me: *details*
Simon: "I wonder if she's going crazy right now...."
Simon: "Get on skype! Let's share our excitement!"
Me: "hahah no I should be sleeping."
Simon: "SKYPE ME.
HOW OFTEN CAN WE SKYPE WHILE GRACE IS IN LABOR?
YOLO."

Yes. He said "YOLO."

So I gave in. And I'm so thankful I did.
Now Simon and I can tell little Kyle that though we could not see him in his first few hours of life, we did in fact have a 2 a.m. Skype conversation about his entrance into the world.
I also have the quotes saved to prove our subtle involvement in this situation....

Simon: "What's his name going to be?"
Me: "Kyle Alden ....."
Simon: "Kyle Alden ..... ? That's the whitest name I've ever heard."
Disclaimer: Simon is half German.

Me: BABYY! BABBBBBYYY!!!
Simon: "You're not even having the baby. Grace is, and you're crazier than she is."

Me: *typing really quickly to document all of Simon's hilarious quotes*
Simon: “All I can hear is you typing. It’s like you're giving birth through the keyboard.”

Me: *whispering into the webcam* “THE BABY IS COMING”

Simon: “Well now I’m going to have nightmares."

Simon: "What do you think the baby’s favorite food will be? Something white people like.. like cabbage or carrots or something gross."

Simon: “He’s born on my mom’s birthday!!! …. They should name him Stephanie. It's only fair.”

Me: "I'm glad we're Skyping during this so we can commiserate together about not being there."
Simon: “Well yeah.. how often does Grace give birth? What.. like maybe.. one more time?”

Simon: "It's going to be a gigantic baby... did you see how big Grace was?! He's going to come out like 30 years old and be like... *deep voice* 'Hey, mom.'"

Me: "Yeah... like 'Hey, mom. I have a beard.'"

Simon: "Instead of being one of those babies with a full head of hair, it's going to be one with a full beard."

Simon and me randomly in unison: "THE BABIES ARE COMING! THE BABIES ARE COMING!"
Disclaimer: this was unplanned
*Explanation: our own rendition of "the British are coming!" ... in case you couldn't figure that out 

Simon: *deep in thought* ".....What if baby Kyle grows up to be the next Michael Buble?"

....Such were the 2 a.m. conversations of Simon and I on the day of my nephew's birth.
Sleep finally happened.
Baby Kyle was born at 5:01 a.m.

A picture my dad sent me of the little one. His first day of life.

Happy emerging into the world, Kyle! I am glad that you don't actually have a full beard.

You have been born into an extremely strange (but incredibly awesome) family!
YOU ARE SO LOVED. You don't even know.
So, little nephew, I will meet you in exactly one week. Be prepared for an unlimited amount of love and affection. You also probably will get blogged about a lot. Sorry in advance.

Love, 

Your Auntie =)