The Room

As I sit in my bedroom at home, its history haunts me, reminding me of who I've been and how God has changed me. I remember when I moved into this room-- eight years old and completely unaware of the utterly different, yet curiously similar girl that would sleep in the room thirteen years later.
The pictures on the wall have hung there for about nine years, some for longer and some shorter.
On the wall to the left of my closet hangs the wolf poster I designed in 6th grade (that was the class project that sparked my love for the crazy beasts) and a variety of other wolf pictures. To some, it may be an odd fascination, but I love wolves, nonetheless. Another glimpse of the nerdy-self.

The figures on my dresser have collected there over the years, my 1st grade softball trophy being the oldest member of the collection. On one side of my mirror hangs my kindergarten graduation tassel, and on the other side hangs my high school graduation cap.
The miniature piano music box given to me by my piano teacher of eight years sits on the dresser as well, and I remember the many frustrating, yet absolutely incredible years of piano lessons. I think of how my piano teacher didn't just teach me how to play an instrument but how to live a song. She always reminded me of why I should play and Who I should play for, and I haven't forgotten.

Each poster and picture on the wall has a memory and a background. In high school, I hung the 1 Peter 3:3-4 poster above my mirror to daily remind myself of the beauty that lasts in life. Pictures of my family all around my room, because I am blessed by them. Pictures of childhood friends scattered here and there, whether I'm still friends with those folks or not. Why I do keep the pictures? To remind me that friends come and go, but the LORD remains. Posters of childhood fandom and adulthood realizations, Bible verses that have especially made a difference in crucial points in my life and things with memories. I hung John 14:27 at the end of my bed during the times of consecutive nightmares, and it reminds me every night of the peace in Jesus Christ.

The bookshelf that holds many of my favorite classics and even more of my unread, literature goals. I haven't conquered the whole mini-library yet, but someday it will happen (although the books constantly seem to multiply). Books from my childhood sit up there-- the ones that sparked my love for story-telling.

The memory chest is a newer addition to my room, but one of my favorite parts of it. When we found it in the attic, I knew it would be in my life for a while. No matter how unexciting or unenchanting it's outward appearance may be, it's inward contents are priceless. Old journals, even older pictures, little artifacts that remind me of the people that have come and gone through my life, glimpses of myself from the past and dreams for myself in the future. Few secrets, but many stories.

Such a little room, yet so much history of my small life.

This summer, I plan to move to my sister's old room.
Maybe it's for the extra space. Maybe it's for the change. Maybe it's for both.
Maybe it's to remind myself that a room with a past does not define me.
It will be hard to say goodbye to this room, but it will always be my room.
No one knows it like I do.

It's time to move on.

Harbingers that bring on playlists and summer reading

Ah. Packing in May. The real harbinger of summer. The suitcase comes out and the summer music comes on. I may even wear sunglasses indoors for such an occasion.

Today, as I began the packing spree with 9 days left until I head home for the summer, reality actually set in. For a while there, I felt like I would be here forever and even then, it's always hard to imagine being anywhere other than where I am at that moment.

So anyway, as I packed, I thought to myself, "Self, you should make a Summer 2013 playlist."
And then I responded to myself and said, "Self, I think that is a brilliant idea."
I'm feeling the folk/indy/alternative scene this summer, with some other favorites thrown in there.
...I'm not a hipster-- I promise. They just have really good taste in music.

I have yet to come up with the full playlist, but here's what I have in mind so far: 

1. "Flower Flower" The Vespers

 

2. "Ho Hey" The Lumineers
3. "Safe and Sound" The Capitals
4.  "Gold on the Ceiling" The Black Keys
5.  "Hello" The True Star
6. "On Top of the World" Imagine Dragons
7. "Jump Into the Fog" The Wombats
8. "Don't Wait for Me" Josh Garrels
9. "Between the Raindrops" Lifehouse & Natasha Bedingfield
10. "Home" Phillip Phillips
11. "Oceans" Hillsong United
12. "Better Now" The Vespers
13. "Charlie Brown" Coldplay
14. "After All (Holy)" David Crowder Band
15."Stars" Grace Potter

So that's all I've got for now, but I'm sure this playlist will grow extensively as the summer goes on. If you have any ideas, feel free to contribute. Or if you have any fantastic ideas for playlist names, list away.

So, then this morning I thought to myself, "Self, you should come up with a summer reading list."
And I responded to myself, "Self, that is such a brilliant idea."
So here's what I have so far (click the titles of the book to see a brief synopsis)...

1. Fatherless by: James Dobson

2. Blue Like Jazz by: Donald Miller
3. Great Expectations by: Charles Dickens
(I find it atrocious that I have not yet read this classic Dickens book, but I figure it's better now than never. I just found bought an antique copy for $3 the other day! Also, I need some more Dickens in my life).
4. The Great Gatsby (I want to reread it before I see the movie!)
5. The Picture of Dorian Gray by: Oscar Wilde (I'm currently about half-way through, but I never got the chance to finish it during school).
6. The Count of Monte Cristo by: Alexandre Dumas
7. At least two of the Agatha Christie collection of books I have on my bookshelf in my room. I have yet to read one entire book by her.

...Ok honestly, I'm looking through books online that I want to read, and there are just too many wonderfully written books in the world. And of course some not so wonderfully written.
Either way, there is no way I am reading all of them this summer.
So for now, this list will do.

Do you think I can read them all despite my snail's pace reading habits?

"I buy books like most women buy shoes."

Most women struggle to walk away from a pair of stilettos and would much rather walk away with them. In a shopping bag. And with less of a checking account. 
Some women have their infatuation with nails, makeup and clothing.
Brand names, bright colors, glitter and pink.

While I love being feminine and as much as I love buying dresses and other female favorites (apart from shoes.. I hate shoes), I have a slightly different obsession.

Books.
 

The word itself gives me chills. No really, I have goosebumps as I write this. That is the level to which I love books. Classic books, Christian books, books about people, books about places, books about cultures, books about life... books books books. I love books.

Mind you, I have not read every book in my collection. Someday I will, but probably not before I'm finished with college.

I have a lot of books in my collection... and here's why.

I have a problem.
Book sale? I'm there.
$.25 book rack at my library back home? Yes.
Book section at any random store? Never leaving the aisle.
Library? O_O.
Yard sales with books? Making those people rich.
Used book store? In love.

Just as a typical female melts at the sight of a beautiful pair of Prada shoes or vibrant Sephora eye shadow, so do I melt at the sight of a used book.

"Why used? Why not new?" you may wonder.

Used books hold a special place in my heart. The thought of someone else having read that exact book before me is enthralling, their heart captured by the story and their mind quickly formulating a detailed, personal image.
New books, though holding a wonderful smell and smooth feel to the pages, have not been broken in, and there's just something about a book that has been broken in already.
I feel like I should be someone who likes to break in a book, and sometimes I suppose I do.
However, especially if it is a classic book, the older and more used, the better.

My collection is growing which I am thankful for, but until I read all of these books that I have purchased over there (and spent next to nothing on each one.. I know how to bargain hunt, people. I pride myself in this skill), I need to stay out of any sort of discount or used bookstore.

A Girl and Her Journal

Tonight, I finally finished my latest journal. I'm not sure what number journal it was, because I've filled many a journal, but I'm sure it's up in the teens somewhere.
Anyway, I'm moving onto a new journal and sort of feeling nostalgic.
The relationship between a girl and her journal is a beautiful thing.. delicate, honest and vulnerable. A journal knows its girl's deepest thoughts, hardest aches, happiest joys, silliest rambles, most illogical feelings, most embarrassing experiences, funniest quirks and sincerest sentiments.

This completed journal's name is Daisy... yeah, I name my journals. Lame, but true. I don't actually address the journal by it's given name, I just like to think it has a little bit of personality. I haven't had a journal named Daisy yet, and, it being my pen name and all, I thought it would be appropriate to have at least one Daisy journal.

Daisy's seen my entire junior year of college up until this point, so it's sort of weird starting a new one at the end of February, but ya know. What can ya do. My new journal is pretty spiffy, and I'm still trying to think up a good name for her, so if you have any suggestions, do share!

To fill up the last few pages of Daisy, I decided to list a few things that I need to do more, want to do more or just want to do in general. The list sort of turned into more than just a few things, but here's what came out of the list:

• Read my Bible more
• Pray more often
• Be thankful
• Be more loving
• Be more generous
• Listen
• Be kinder
• Talk about myself LESS.
• Trust God more
• Be less self-conscious
• Have more self-control
• Not take things so personally
• Guard my heart
• Don't idolize anything
• Love Jesus MOST
• Love people second
• Try new things
• Don't give up
• Work hard
• Take breaks
• Enjoy every day
• Love the little moments
• Let a guy pursue me
• Be ok with being single
• Remember God provides
• Don't plan every moment
• Take a breath
• Focus
• Don't waste
• Spend less time on social media (which I'm on right now... just spent 15 minutes scrolling twitter. That's a problem).
• Be happy =) even when things are just "eh"
• Start exercising more
• Get better at swimming
• Play more piano
• Hug people
• Be selfless
• But have boundaries
• HUG lots of people... oh I said that one already
• Read a lot!
• Be creative
• Think outside the box
• Just think in general
• Read about how to train dogs so that one day I can own one
• Learn to sew
• Write a book already!
• Eat better
• Finish this journal already...
• Be GOOFY and not care if people are JUDGIN' (I really did write it that way)...
• But know when to be serious
• Never stop telling stories
• Hike more
• Go for more late night walks and never forget the pumpkin seeds!
• Never take any season for granted
• Pray instead of complain
• Write and never stop
• Keep my eyes open and don't overlook people
• Be myself & no one else.
• Stop comparing myself to others
• Be an example
• Be a mentor
• Seek a mentor
• Never think so highly of myself that I don't serve
• Be confident
• Don't be arrogant
• Be honest
• Don't be afraid to confront issues
• If I wouldn't want people knowing it, don't say it.
• Learn to knit something other than a scarf....
• Go to Europe
• Do whatever it is God allows me to do with my major and rock it!
• Love Jesus ALWAYS
• Never take my family and friends for granted

So that's how I filled Daisy's last few pages. She lived a good life, and I think she ended it well, too.

Hello, new journal, new memories, new lessons, new stories, new thoughts and new perspectives. Enjoy me, in older form!

Julie & Julia & Daisy

This weekend I watched "Julie & Julia." Would it be dramatic to say that it sort of changed my life?
Yeah it probably would be since it did not actually in fact change my life.

However, I did happen to gain a small education from this film.

1. I do not want to work at an insurance company answering phones. 
2. Actually, maybe I could work at an insurance company answering phones and write about everyone's really ridiculous stories that they call in about. Or is that illegal? ......Maybe I should just stay away from this.
3. Blogging really is wonderful. However, I need to focus my blog to a specific audience... or at least start another one that does so.
4. I really do not understand cooking lingo. I should probably look into that if I'm ever going to read a cookbook.. and cook from it. And not poison everyone who eats of the results.
5. Note to self: never put my writing endeavors before people. Putting my own thoughts and opinions before tangible human beings who are in the real world is just asking to be alone for the rest of my life.
6. Julia Child is hilarious, and I would have loved to be her friend. In fact, my mom sort of reminds me of her. I don't know if that will insult my mother to tell her that, so.. mmm.. better not. Either way, my mom is cool.
7. This may be Meryl Streep's finest movie. This woman can act.
8. Pearls really do make everyone classier. 
9. I wonder if cooking lobster is really as hard as it looks? Also, I should probably try lobster sometime... especially since I'm from New England. Yes, I am from the Boston area and have never in fact tasted lobster. Fail, self. Fail. 
10. I want to create a project blog just like Julie. You know, the kind of blog that keeps readers hooked and longing to see what happens next. I want it to be honest. Vulnerable. Unleashing the quirky. Entertaining. Inspiring. 

I need ideas. I guess there isn't really a rush... but then again, if I don't do this now, I probably never will (or at least I'll put it off until I'm 42 and my hypothetical children are in high school).

Time to use my investigative reporting skills and research the internet for all that is missing in it. That's so hard... that's like trying to complete one of those "Spot the Difference" puzzles. If you've ever tried one of these, hopefully you aren't as bad as I am. Being observant isn't one of my finest skills. Remind me why I'm a journalism major again?

Can you "spot the differences?"
Hey look, it's Julia Child baking a cake! And... me? And a cat!

What can I bring to the imaginary table?

Well, I have no answers for now, but I'll be thinking. And praying.
This may seem sort of petty to pray about, but I do believe that anything I write is to glorify God anyway, so of course I would pray about this.

Guess we'll find out what happens!

Boston Love

There's nothing like ringing in the New Year by spending the day in Boston. Ok, it wasn't exactly ringing it in, per say, but January 2nd is pretty close.

When I went away to school in the South, I think I tried to convince myself that I would somehow realize that I was a southern girl at heart. I always romanced the South in my mind, making it a place of country bliss. It's like there's some sort of syndrome where you want to run wild and free away from your roots the moment you leap over the fence. Well, needless to say, my whole adventure seemed to produce opposite emotions. The distance and culture difference not only opened my eyes to my love for the North but also seemed to blow up my northern heart into a giant, Boston-shaped sun ray. Seriously though, something snapped in me. I have taken my amazing New England for granted.

 
Now, I can't get enough. The sharp Boston accents, the fast-paced environment, professionals and classy folks, the rich history, the small New England towns nearby, the sweeping trees, the majestic mountains of the far North, the wiry winters (though bitterly cold and easily frustrating), the airy summers, the breath-taking foliage in autumn and spring's fresh scent in the nipping April air. It's all so perfect. It's like a romantic dream dripped in history and drenched in class.

Honestly, Bostonians and, well, New Englanders in general, are so very misunderstood. No, we're not cold, grumpy folks with no sense of family and lacking in hospitality. We're not mistrusting brutes. We're street savvy with wise minds. We love those close to us with a passion, but don't leave our remarks for when you turn your back. We're honest. We're friendly, but you'll hear it how it is. No fluff. And I can tell you, I think I've just about HAD it with fluff (not marshmallow fluff.. that stuff is heavenly).Especially in churches. But that's another story for another time.

Now don't get me wrong, the South has it's charms and beauties as well, I just happen to be partial to the realism that I believe exists in the North.

There's beauty in reality that I think people miss on a daily basis.

Life is beautiful, and I'm proud of where I've grown up. The Boston area is the first place my parents (and all of my relatives for that matter) experienced in the United States, but it hasn't been the last. I'm so thankful for the memories that are cued in my mind when I'm surrounded by the New England folk, and I'm thankful that the memories are fond and beautiful.

2013: Day One

2013: Day One

Dear Self,

I decided it would be interesting to write a letter to myself to begin the new year.

Although I will not keep up letter entries to myself throughout the entire year, (because, who am I kidding?) I am currently writing to myself as if it's a normal occurrence.Why, you ask? Because it's a new year, and I don't need a reason. I post this letter to myself on my own public blog so that I can be held accountable, because everyone knows everything feels more official when you post it on the internet.

So self, when you go into 2013, there are a few factors that you must never forget.

1. Never let people become more important than God. God calls us to love people, but He calls us to love HIM first. Don't let people become an idol, and don't let service become a distraction.
2. It's okay to be bad at things. You are not superwoman, you are not all-powerful, you cannot be in multiple places at once and you are not made to be perfect, because, Self, you are not God. I know that sounds over the top and you may never actually think you are God, but when you act as if it's your duty to be the most fantastic multitasker in the world, that is attempting to elevate yourself to the level of God. So don't. Trust God and let Him be in control... it's a lot less stressful and a lot more productive.
3. Don't ignore the people in your life. Ever. They may not always be there. When you take people for granted, you skip essential parts of your life, wasting time and memories. Why waste any moment when life is like a vapor?
4. Remember the things that might hurt to remember. They help you not to backtrack to places you once were and never need to be again. It might not always be pleasant to remember those embarrassing, painful memories, especially the ones involving receiving consequences from sin, but in the long run, you will be better for it.
5. "God is not a secret to be kept." This quote by Newsboys/TobyMac captures quite beautifully the essence of your purpose. You are here to share the gospel, reach people, love people and show them Christ. Don't waste any opportunities, and don't miss any possibilities.
6. Just because you're single doesn't mean you're a loser. Ok, the fact that I'm telling myself this may seem a bit loser-ish, and maybe it is, but honestly, the truth is that being single is just another stage in life. "Being in a relationship" does not suddenly fulfill you or give you worth, because your only worth is in Christ. Take advantage of your singleness- go places you've never been, meet people you've never known, invest your time into people who need it, embrace spending time with your family every day, try new things, form new hobbies, get jobs you love, serve God in all of it.
7. Any life worth living is going to be hard. Don't take the easy route. Don't just do what's comfortable. Do hard things. Take risks, but plan accordingly. Show initiative, don't be lazy and don't miss out on good memories and wonderful people.
8. Trust God to provide. Don't spend your life worrying about finances, especially when God has blatantly called you to something and opened doors. If God has opened one door, chances are the doors will just keep opening. Work hard, but always trust God.
9. When you feel like you're stuck and no one understands, just keep going. Prayer and God's Word is ALL that will comfort you, so keep persevering and the hovering will soon come to an end.
10. Remember that you are here to LOVE GOD and LOVE PEOPLE. Don't get hung up on yourself. Life isn't about you. It's about Jesus Christ. God is who you are here to glorify. People are who you need to reach and what you need to be passionate about. Life alone is empty. Love people. Invest in them. Show them Christ.

So, Self, remember these things. When you feel like life in 2013 is crazy, out of control and unbearable, remember that this happens during every year. Hard times are inevitable, so just get through them. People are difficult. You are difficult. They will fail you. You will fail them. They will sin. You will sin. Push through. Trust God. Love God. Love people.

Cling to Jesus in everything.

Love,
Me

Coldplay to Glorify God?

As a Christian, is it a sin to listen to non-Christian music or Christian music that is "emotional" and not "coming right from Bible verses?" Is it a sin to watch non-Christian movies or enjoy culture if it isn't meant to praise God?

I'm just going to go ahead and nip this in the butt..... NO.
This whole mentality is, quite frankly, ridiculous. How the idea that creativity is sin is beyond me.

Now, if said music/movie/art is a stumbling block in your personal walk with God or is blaspheming/dishonoring God, then yes, it is a sin.

However, I find that many Christians who point their fingers and shout "If it has a beat and isn't hymns or choruses, then you are not walking with God!" in their mommy voice are simply just harboring a Pharisee mentality and not Biblically backing up their arguments. At all.

Sorry if that's harsh, but not sorry.

Now, let me start off by saying that just because it's not blatantly "Christian," doesn't mean that God doesn't use it nor does it mean He can't be glorified by it.

My English professor this semester made a beautiful point in class.
People often gawk at the fact that we in a Christian university read, learn and study works of literature that are not written by Christians, do not present Christian messages and often display ungodly ideals and mentalities. So why do we study them?
What he said truly inspired me. "Just because it isn't a Christian work with Christian morals, doesn't mean we can't see pieces of God through man's creativity. Just because there may be mentalities we don't agree with in them, doesn't mean that we can't learn more about God and man from them."

Obviously he is not saying to fill our minds with horrible things or dark worldviews that will corrupt our minds. The Bible says to think on GOOD things.
Here's what he WAS saying: Often times, art (any form) is not created to point to God, but yet it still does. Man is God's creation, and though man may be far from God, man still has within his or her inner being, the knowledge and recognition of their Creator. Therefore, man's insight (whether Christian or not) does, in a way, teach us about our Lord and Creator and also teaches us about the nature of man in comparison to His GLORY.

Example:
Coldplay. Non-Christian band. Secular worldviews presented through their lyrics.
However, through their music and lyrics, I often see their longing for God, man's need for the Lord and their desperation for meaning in life, encouraging me to reach the lost for God. Through their music and lyrics I also can see a beauty of creation, an appreciation for obscure beauty and glimpses of nature, helping me to further understand my Maker and his beauty in creating music, life, human beings and just this world. Such music, though not written to glorify God, brings out in my heart and mind a sort of appreciation for God and his obscure characteristics that DOES bring Him glory.

This is an example of how contemporary culture can point people to Jesus unknowingly.

With that said, maybe it doesn't work like that for everyone. Maybe not everyone is a right-brained nut who sees God's beauty and majesty through tearful tunes and deep, poetic anecdotes, and that is ok. But for people to call those people ignorant who DO find beauty and appreciation of the Lord through those things, THAT is not right and not their place to judge or condemn.

Romans 14 blatantly speaks against judging others based on what they celebrate, how they eat, how they go about certain things...

Obviously, this is NOT in reference to an overt sin. Anything that directly goes against God's Word SHOULD be judged, especially among Christian brethren, because THAT is Biblical, and God is the ultimate judge
. 
But, condemning others for certain preferences in what type of culture they partake in is absolutely UNBIBLICAL and arrogant.

Sorry if I stepped on toes, but ya know... welcome to the blog of Daisy Wolf. 

Every engagement needs MARMALADE

So, I've blogged about awkward couples, but what about the non-awkward couples?
Don't they deserve a blog post? I say yes, yes they do.

However, this post is specifically directed towards ENGAGED couples. Oh yes. Don't think you'd get out that easily. ENGAGED. Not dating, but not married. An odd spot in life, but apparently a very popular one since 90% of my Facebook friends lie in this category.

(Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any skewed statistics; I am simply bad at math. Hence the journalism major).

So, to the 90%, the 10% have something to say. Don't worry, this is not a criticizing post-- mostly just an inquiring post. So in this case, I suppose we don't have something to say, but rather to ask....

HOW ARE THERE SO MANY OF YOU?
Really though. It seems that some sort of epidemic has taken over all social media
and the symptoms involve 

1. diamonds
2. cover photo close-ups involving such diamonds
3. and maybe a picnic basket. 

YES, the picnic basket is a symptom, and it's filled with roses and jars of marmalade and maybe some lemonade in a jug. Oh, and maybe some bread because you need something to put the marmalade on.

The question is, do you find the diamond ring in the picnic basket and then realize you've caught the engagement or do you just see the picnic basket and know? OR is the trick ACTUALLY just in the marmalade? I mean, that's an important factor. Who can get married without marmalade? ONLY NO ONE.

Also, does Kay jewelers pay you for advertising your engagement on social networking sites? I mean, it doesn't really bother the rest of us, but I hope you are getting reimbursed for such a romantically dramatized expression on the world wide web. It would only be fair.
Is there glitter involved? In the proposal? Or buckets of confetti? Why has no one proposed via lite-brite?

I don't know about you, but I feel as though that would be a creative (and vintage) way to pop the question. Like "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" in this:

...There wouldn't have to be Mr. Potato Head there, but ya know. If there was some sort of significance about having the potato in the proposal, then by all means.... Mr. Potato away.

Anyway. Those are mostly my questions for you.
Please continue on, since you are probably busy smothering your bread with marmalade.

Another disclaimer: none of this is meant to be offensive. I'm sorry if your feelings are hurt because you really just love marmalade and Mr. Potato Head, and I will try to be more sensitive next time.



Keep being cute, engaged people! With all of your cover photos and picnic baskets!

A Jane Austen Ideal

Jane Austen will always be one of my favorite classic authors. I've only read two of her books, but I've watched almost all of her movies that are based on her books (I know, I know.. how could I..) and intend to soon read through all of her books (better?).
The characters in her novels are so passionate and intriguing that I can't help but love them, and the language is so profound and vibrant that I tend to linger over lines and soak them in.

Elizabeth Bennett is of course a favorite female heroine, her strong but wise personality admirable and fascinating. Emma is a hilarious, bold character, but I can't say that she's my favorite, while Anne Elliot (of "Persuasion".. a less popular one of Austen's but an absolutely fantastic story) just hits me as someone I would love to know.
The list of Austen's amazing female leads could go on and on, but the list of Austen's incredible male leads would just be endless.

So here's where this all gets tricky for me.
Sometimes I find myself so enamored by characters like Darcy and Wentworth that I place myself in this dream land of the "misunderstood men" who don't actually contain flaws but are rather perfect in every way once their women really get to know them.
I love literature, and I love the classic romances of famous authors like Austen, yet I realize how blinding it all can be.

Jane Austen, the woman who created these characters, built these men from her personal ideals, her female expectations forming an unattainable bar for all real, uninvented men. I can imagine how frustrating it must be for any man to hold themselves to the standards of  Mr. Darcy- wise, pondering, genuine, often taken as a harsh man when he is really ultra precious and attractively shy, his opinions revolving around his woman's preferences and wishes.
Don't forget extremely handsome, wealthy and possessing integrity levels reaching the Empire State Building. I mean, who doesn't want a man like that? But really, is there even a man that perfect?
Let's be real here.. there are great men, but there are no flawless men.

The irony of this all is that Austen remained unmarried. 
It's a wonder such standards were left unfulfilled.

Don't get me wrong, I swoon over Mr. Darcy as much as the next nerdy girl, but I do believe all of the "Darcy swooning" can be inexpressibly dangerous.

Ideals.
Dangerous ideals.

I think of Anne Shirley of L.M. Montgomery's "Anne of Green Gables" series. Anne mentions to her best friend Diana that she can't marry her childhood friend, Gilbert Blythe (who loves her to the moon and back), because he doesn't meet her "ideals."
Marilla, Anne's mother figure, tells her of Gilbert's love for Anne, to which Anne replies, "Marilla, he's hardly my idea of a romantic suitor." 

Marilla's response is one I will always love and remember:

"Anne, you have tricked something out of that imagination of yours that you call romance. Have you forgotten how he gave up the Avonlea school for you so that you could stay here with me? He picked you up everyday in his carriage so that you could study your courses together. Don't toss it away for some ridiculous ideal that doesn't exist. Hmm? Now, you come downstairs and see if a good cup of tea and some of those plum puffs I made today don't hearten you."

Anne almost misses out on her perfect match (and almost ends up with the most annoying man ever).
Gilbert Blythe is simple, frank and someone she's always known, but she doesn't know how perfect he is for her.

What do we as women miss out on while we place such ideals upon men?
Of course, other factors rule into make a decision about a man (faith, family, personality, compatibility, attraction, etc.), but if the only thing holding us back is our "ideals," then what are we doing?

I love Jane Austen and the passion of her characters. I love the Bronte sisters and their deep melancholy romances. I love Elizabeth Gaskell and her complicated plots.

I love them all, but I don't want their ideals.

Stretching-->Obedience-->Rest

I haven't blogged in a while.. which is sad, but it's ok.
I've started a few blog posts and haven't finished them, but some of them are the type that accumulate with information over time (surprises ahead!)

It has been a crazy semester so far. And by crazy I mean insane. And by insane I mean psychopathic. And all of that is an understatement.
Just kidding, I bet other people in the world are going through more crazy, insane and psychopathic things, but everything always seems worse and weirder when it's you.

First of all, September is over! *faded cheering in the background*
I don't know why it is, but September never fails to be the worst month ever. Always and forever. It's like the month of September knows that when it comes around, it's time to bring out the worst emotions in Daisy possible. Thankfully, God sped up September a little bit this semester, so it didn't last as long as last year. That was a blessing.
However, despite my lack of appreciate for the month of September, God has taught me that I have SO much to be thankful for, whether I enjoy September or not. That is another post for another time (oh don't you worry.. it's coming). I find that September is my peak month for complaining, and I also find that this habit needs to change. Whether I like the month or not, God created it and I am still alive in the month, and He expects me to make the most of every day and be thankful.

God has been really stretching me lately- in ways I didn't see coming (of course) and never thought I'd experience at this age.
I'm learning that I am so THANKFUL for my friends here at college. Two of my best friends, Heather and Andrew, have definitely been large contributors of joy to my semester, and I do believe God has placed them in my life strategically at this time.
I'm learning that the way to overcome anger towards a person is often just to pray for them- it's nearly impossible to hold bitterness against someone when you're praying for them to the God of the universe. It sort of just... happens that way.
I'm learning that my classes are actually useful to my life and that there are professors who actually care about my well-being (which means the world).
I'm learning that rest is NECESSARY, and God grants it to those who obey Him and follow His will.
I'm learning that the way my day goes cannot be based on others moods (or else it constantly will be bad and roller-coaster like).
I'm learning that I'm not responsible for other people's attitudes or responses to my boundaries.
I'm learning that only God is constant and can sustain me.
I'm learning that God takes care of us, whether we think He will or not.
I'm learning that trusting God wholeheartedly with my entire life is one of the hardest things in the Christian life EVER.
Basically, in a nutshell, I'm learning that growing up is hard.

The other day I read a passage in Joshua 1 that really encouraged me....
Joshua 1:10-18
¹⁰ Then Joshua commanded the officers of the people, saying, ¹¹ “Pass through the camp and command the people, saying, ‘Prepare provisions for yourselves, for within three days you will cross over this Jordan, to go in to possess the land which the Lord your God is giving you to possess.’”
¹² And to the Reubenites, the Gadites, and half the tribe of Manasseh Joshua spoke, saying, ¹³ “Remember the word which Moses the servant of the Lord commanded you, saying, ‘The Lord your God is giving you rest and is giving you this land.’ ¹⁴ Your wives, your little ones, and your livestock shall remain in the land which Moses gave you on this side of the Jordan. But you shall pass before your brethren armed, all your mighty men of valor, and help them, ¹⁵ until the Lord has given your brethren rest, as He gave you, and they also have taken possession of the land which the Lord your God is giving them. Then you shall return to the land of your possession and enjoy it, which Moses the Lord’s servant gave you on this side of the Jordan toward the sunrise.”
¹⁶ So they answered Joshua, saying, “All that you command us we will do, and wherever you send us we will go. ¹⁷ Just as we heeded Moses in all things, so we will heed you. Only the Lord your God be with you, as He was with Moses. ¹⁸ Whoever rebels against your command and does not heed your words, in all that you command him, shall be put to death. Only be strong and of good courage.”
  
The main thing that God is teaching me right now is that 
If we are obedient to God and follow His will, then He will give us REST. (vs 13-15). Joshua OBEYS and leads others to obey as well. (vs 16).

The Adventures of Having Curly Hair

If you have curly hair, know someone with curly or have seen a random stranger with curly hair,
this blog post is for you.
 
The purpose of this post?
For those will curly hair: to empathize with, to share a heart-to-heart and to simply bond with.
For those acquainted with a curly-haired individual: to help you understand your friends better, to give you further detail into methods in which you may assist your friends and to help you to appreciate your hair.
For everybody else who has seen curly hair: to inform you on this topic (since you obviously need further information about it), to provide an anthropological analysis on the curly-haired population and simply to entertain you (cause who doesn't find other people's problems funny?)

If you reside within the first category of individuals reading this post, you may be asking yourself "Am I the only one who has such interesting experiences due to my untamed hair?"
I am here to tell you: no. No you are not.
If you find yourself in the latter two categories, maybe you're asking yourself, "What is it like to experience such craziness?"
I am here to further develop your understanding and to culturally enrich your senses.

Now, let's dive into our fine specimen of a topic.

It is a known fact, that curly hair contains some sort of magnetic component which forces food and drink to leap onto the hair, tangling itself within the web of curls. The case usually grows with the growing of the hair- the longer the hair, the more magnetic the bond between the hair and the food.
Example: Eating bread usually results in a mass amount of crumbs residing within the hair. Eating soup usually results in drippings of liquid on the tips of the hair. Eating bananas usually results in bananas just hanging out in the hair.
To the curly-haired individual: When eating, please tie your hair up. It will prevent any magnetic forces from publicly humiliating you, conquering your ego or simply just dirtying your hair.
To the friend: If your curly-haired friend has forgotten some sort of hair-tying contraption, please resort to holding your friend's swirly locks back for them as they attempt to eat their meal. Otherwise, simply keep an eye on them as they dig into their nutritious (I should hope) dish.
To the random by-stander: Have a video camera ready (this may apply for the friend as well).

Only a rainy day, the adventures dramatically increase. It is common knowledge that rain holds a life-long grudge against curly hair. If it rains, curly hair will pay. How? The beautiful term "frizz" comes to mind. Why? Because rain can. Rain thinks to itself, "This girl has curly hair.. how about we multiply her curls into millions of little, unattractive curls that make her look like a lioness on the prowl? What a brilliant idea, self!"
To the curly-haired individual: I am sorry. The only advice I can think to bestow upon you is LOTS of gel. Or mousse. And just don't waste your time straightening your hair. Umbrellas do nothing. Hoods can work if squeezed tightly around head, creating the whole "hoodlum effect."
To the friend: Be kind to your friend and don't laugh at them in a public place. We realize our hair is uncontrollably large and extra curly and do not need to be informed. Also, if you have a hat on hand or some sort of... disguise (for your friend), you know what to do.
To the random by-stander: Be gracious and don't judge. It's not just a bad hair day- it's a rain day. Nothing could be done, and your understanding would be greatly appreciated.

The curly-haired individual does not manage their hair; the curly-haired individual is managed BY their hair. Everyday is different. Some days the hair decides that it will appease its owner and look presentable, while other days result in tears and frustration.. and eventually a pony-tail. People wonder why women are moody.. well, when your hair is bipolar, that tends to influence a woman. The hair has a mind of its own. It curls. It waves. It flattens. It poofs. It frizzes. It flips awkwardly. It falls nicely. It just falls. It plops. It gets stuck on facial features (noses, ears, eyebrows, lips.. etc).
Curly hair does what it wants and it won't be told otherwise.

I'm sure there's more to be said about curly hair... but I'm tired, so this is ending.
Goodnight, curly-haired and straight-haired folks alike! Let us all live peaceably with our differences!

The little things are really the big things.

You know those moments that hit you when you realize how truly blessed you are? I've recently had one of those moments. It's easy to take people and opportunities for granted, but I am trying my hardest to thank God for the little things daily, because the little things really are the big things.

As I prepare for my trip, I realize how blessed I am to be able to go on this trip. I am truly thankful for those who God led to assist me with the funds for the trip without my even asking. I am so proud to say that God provided every single penny for the trip (as He always does)- whether through other people's assistance or through money He allowed me to save up (based on jobs He has provided for me). Nothing really ever is done in my own strength or by my own abilities, if I really break it down. It always points back to Jesus Christ. Jesus is always the protagonist of the story, and my life is just a subplot. Guess we'll see where this story goes throughout the rest of this month, huh?

I am so thankful for the parents who God has provided me with- ones who encourage me to serve Christ, whether the world tilts their head in confusion at my actions or not. They're always such godly supports and never discourage me from doing what God is calling me to do (even when the situations may seem dangerous or odd). They also tell me when certain decisions are necessarily not godly ones and when I need to pray more about a situation. I don't think I could successfully doing anything without their godly advice and encouragement. I'm thankful for parents who listen, who care and who love me for who I am. They may not always agree with me or think I am right, but they love me just the same and do what they can to help me grow. I'm thankful for parents who miss me. I know that sounds selfish, but it's nice to be missed. It's nice to be appreciated for who you are and what you bring to their lives.

I'm thankful for my friends. My sister, my cousins, my church friends and my college friends. 
My sister is the friend who will always be in my life, and for that I am thankful. We're very different in many ways, but we understand each other, too. Most of the time we think exactly the same way, which may be attributed to how we were raised, but I think in general we're just kindred spirits ;]. I am thankful for her and who she is, and I'm thankful for her generosity of love to me. She's a great example of a godly woman.
My cousins will also always be involved in my life, whether we stay active in each other lives in every stage of life or not. As many of the cousins get married, have babies, move away or go to college, it's often difficult to stay in touch constantly, but near or far, we are always friends. We know each other inside and out, which growing up together affects, and it's a great feeling to have people like that in your life as well.
My church friends are sort of like my cousins in that we grew up with each other. Many of us differ from each other, but we always find things in common, especially our common bond of being brothers and sisters in Christ. These are some of the most hilarious people I have ever met, and I enjoy their company so much! Thankful for some godly friends at home to keep me accountable and have some awesome laughs with.
My college friends hold a very special place in my heart. You know, I've never experienced such a wide variety of personalities till I went away to school, and I've really enjoyed it! Who knew I could find other people with similar interests in me, are my age, same sense of humor and who LOVE Jesus?! Didn't even see it coming, I can tell you that. My freshman year roommates, Carla and Kaytee, have become my sisters when I'm over at school and two of my closest friends. Two of my freshman year friends, Sarah and Ariel, have stayed close with me until now and have become two of my best friends as well. I've also made a variety of other awesome friends within my major, on my halls or at the church I attend while I am at school, and I love them all so much! I look forward to the new friends I will make junior year and the old friends I will grow closer to as well.

I am thankful to be able to go to a university, and a godly one at that. I know we always find things to disagree with at places like my school, but we often forget how incredible a place like that university is. Incredible. That's really the only way to describe it.

How blessed I am, and how thankful I should be.

Summertime Moments

There's something about summertime that allows for the most perfect moments. I feel as though within the past few days I have gotten to take part in some ideal activities, whether with people or alone. I have learned more and more that some of the most "romantic moments" happen with just friends or while I'm on my own. Hey, you people in relationships aren't the only ones who get to have cute experiences..

1. Picnic lunch by the pond
The other day I took my little cousin to the park for the day. We packed sack lunches, drove with the windows down and the music up and prepped for our little "date." There's a baby-sized pond at the park, and in that baby-sized pond lives baby-sized ducks (maybe they're actually babies.. I'm not sure these days). So, we snagged our lunches, found a grassy patch and soaked up the sun while we watched the precious ducklings get attacked by cheerios (compliments of the little boys who "just wanted to feed the duckies"). I don't know about you, but it was one awesome moment.

2. Literature at dusk

I still haven't finished Wuthering Heights- go figure- but I am only four chapters away from finishing! The other day, in hopes that I would finally find out what happened (everyone keeps dying in the book and I'm not sure where this story can possibly go...), I decided to spend sometime reading. It was nice outside (I had just gotten back from the park with my cousin) and my dad was painting the deck, so I figured it would be a waste to sit inside. Well, since the deck was wet and in the works, I decided my backyard would work nicely. The sun was going down and I had to keep moving every few minutes to be in a sunny spot, but it was the most lovely experience ever. Dusk has a certain smell and feeling. It's hard to describe in words, but if you're a human being with an imagination, I'm sure you have some idea about what I'm talking about. There's just something fantastic about reading beautiful literature at dusk while lying in the grass... until your mom yells, "You're going to get ticks!" This is true.

3. Painting in the sunlight

Today I had the urge to paint. Don't ask me why considering I'm by no means an artist. However, it was perfect. The family was out on the deck and the sun was warm and friendly. Set backs? I only had three paint colors. As you can expect, that did not stop me- it just gave me an opportunity to splash paint around together in attempt to get other colors. While my pictures were pretty random and sort of ugly due to the maroon, light purple and forest green that invaded every single one of my paintings, it was a lot of fun and very relaxing. My next mission: to buy the primary colors so that I can actually mix and get colors other than mint green, mauve and brown.


So.. those were three of my "moments" this week. Don't ever think that you can't have memorable moments alone- I'm telling you, it's possible, and when they happen, they're all the more beautiful. Go enjoy summer and love life!

Divinely Created to Impact

Oh, how intricate life is.

On these summer days I have a lot of time to think and remember.
I think about who I was, who I am and who I'm going to be,
and then I think about all the different people who have impacted me, even if only in the slightest way. I remember each person who made a difference in my life, whether for a year or a week.. or even a moment. Those situations that, had I not experienced them, my current perspective would be slightly altered. I guess you could call it a sort of "butterfly affect," minus all the superstition.

I think of what or who has influenced my likes and dislikes. How the books of my childhood pushed me to love literature and writing. How admiration of my sister encouraged me to pursue playing piano (and how my piano teacher's belief in me pushed me to thrive and really enjoy the instrument). How my parents' lives exemplified Christ for me to see tangibly. How my teachers either gave me favorable or unfavorable tastes of their said subjects.
I think of the friends who came and went out of my life, teaching me about myself, about other people and even about God. Of the friends who showed me what love looks like and of the friends who showed me what manipulation looks like. Of the friends who were there when I needed them, whether they would be in my life long-term or not. Of the friends who taught me how to be a friend.

Everyone makes a difference. No matter how insignificant you may feel in someone's life, you have impacted them in some way, whether in a positive or negative way.
And on top of it all, God knows you. God knows me. God knows where we've been and where we're going. And He knows why.

As I reminisce, I thank God for His hand in my life and the people He has put in it, making me who I am. I thank God for His constant involvement in my life, never leaving me to brave the pains of this life alone. Always with me to rejoice with me in the joys of life.
I thank Him for the ability to rest in Him and to trust that my life will happen just as it should. I will meet the people I will need to meet, and I will face the trials I need to face. I will make the memories and learn the lessons. I will take my place in this giant cycle of life, contributing to each person's memories and lessons. No one can take the place of YOU. No one can take the place of ME.

We are who God created us to be, intricately designed with care and meaning. We have purpose, no matter how minute the purpose may seem.

Be blessed today by the fact that you are divinely created to IMPACT.

Knit Together

First of all, I began writing this at 11:11 pm, which I think is pretty nifty. Yes, I have just revealed one of my little girly inclinations that I often try to hide from the world. What am I saying? I'm an open book. Moving on.

I don't know if you've experienced this in your life, but I seem to always have these recurring thoughts and phrases that randomly pop into my head at random moments in my life.. usually a time when I am unable to write about it, thus being immediately robbed of my realizations as they fly away into oblivion. Where do those thoughts go and how do they come back? Wow, total rabbit trail. Anyway, even though it would be fascinating to analyze the occurrence of thoughts, I'm going to actually get to my point this time. I promise.

One of these random thoughts that I've caught coming and going through my mind all throughout my life came back to me today as we discussed how beauty is portrayed in modern advertising.
So many times I find myself picking apart who I am, how I look, what people think of me, and what people want me to be. Than I think to myself, if I change myself, who am I disappointing (that may be a higher priority on my list)?
Fact: I will never make everyone happy.
Fact: I will never be whatever everyone specifically wants me to be.
Fact: I am who God created me to be.

Throughout my life, I've realized that the moment I change something about myself to please someone else, I have lost connection with someone else who would have liked me for the very aspect of myself that I abandoned. God has created us uniquely, perfectly designed to be just as He intended us to be. Personality, flaws, and all. Do not get me wrong- by flaws I do not mean sin. Sin is a completely different issue that is definitely that should be changed and worked on. By flaws I mostly mean quirks. Get me? Ok good.

In the words of Johnny Diaz, "You were meant to fill a purpose that only you could do. There could never be a more beautiful you."

When we change ourselves to please others, we are removing ourselves from who God created us to be. We are warping ourselves into plastic people.
I fully believe that if I remembered that this life is not about pleasing others but about pleasing the God who gave me breath and created me just as I am, my self esteem would no longer be catapulted into depths of despair. Instead, I would realize my self worth in Christ. I would know that somewhere out there is a man who has also been uniquely created by God, his temperaments, quirks, beliefs, and standards fully complementing mine and his heart appreciating who I am for who I am. He's out there, and I know it. Until then, I will continue to be me- who God formed me to be when He personally knit me in my mother's womb. 

This goes for you, too. To every person who feels that they must change themselves to fit someone else- there's someone better for you. Not better, just better for you.
Cliche? Maybe. True? Absolutely.

Don't disappoint the wrong person.

Finally. That thought is written down and finally out of my heart for the world to see. Hope you enjoyed it. Here's the music video to the Johnny Diaz song which I earlier quoted.. enjoy!

Goodnight & God Bless!

A blog about something.. or nothing.

There exists no particular reason as to why I am writing right now, since there is nothing specifically on my mind (but who knows what may subconsciously come out through my fingertips into the world wide web), except that I had a major test and refuse to do homework until I absolutely am required to.
I currently have nothing specifically due tomorrow, so when I do decide to begin an assignment, I will feel extra productive since it's not required. Until that moment, I am dawdling. Why? Because it is these precious moments of brief freedom which we college students must grasp hold of to simply step back and enjoy life for one slight moment. So here I am... just stepping back and enjoying. Rare moment in life indeed.
So what should I write about in my moment of freedom? Whatever I feel like writing about, fiddly snap! Oh the beauty of a personal blog.. the one place you can just ramble and no one can complain, because no one is forcing them to read (or listen, in some situations).

I don't think I shared my embarrassing moments as of late, now have I? Well, unfortunately one is slightly too awkward for the internet (but I will probably tell you if you ask me in private, so go for it). Other awkward moments? Ok well, let me give a brief background first....

So you know those pesky 8:50 a.m. classes, specifically the ones that have tests in them? Well, say I were to, oh I don't know, unknowingly sleep through my alarm for about an hour and wake up at 8:45 a.m.? Yes. It's true. This happened to me a few days ago. You're probably wondering what happened. That's funny, because I can tell you. After waking up abruptly, gasping for air as I realized I just woke up five minutes before a big test, I literally threw on clothing that weren't pajamas (since unfortunately, pajamas are simply frowned upon in a classroom environment these days), and ran, yes, literally RAN, to class (backpack flopping around and all). What time did I arrive at class? 8:52. I have no clue how this possibly happened other than maybe God stopped time or just made it go by obnoxiously slowly, but it did. The teacher hadn't even passed out the tests yet. It was fantastic.

However, when you wake up that way, your entire day is thrown out of whack and thrown into a twilight zone that you didn't know actually existed on earth. Well, I'm here to tell you that it does exist. While in this twilight zone, magical, strange experiences happen. Just kidding, they're not magical.. but I'm not exaggerating about them being strange... because they are. Somehow one trips extensively in front of everyone around, but mostly in front of those of the male species (because that's usually how it happens). One's filter also is completely stripped away, allowing your mouth to run before your brain has time to function. For instance, when a teacher asks a question, one's first response in a college classroom would not normally be, "Because she peed herself." Yes, indeed. I did say that in public, and then immediately was horrified (my eyes probably opening so wide they would soon fall out of my head). Good times. Good times, indeed. Don't worry, I received many bewildered expressions from my classmates.

So that's just a tidbit about my life and my skill of being an embarrassing person.

Until another day.
(God bless)

The Bucket List

So, I've always wanted to write a bucket list out, but never really have, so I think as I approach a new experience in life (being a camp counselor), now is the time to create goals for my life in the future.
Here it goes... (in no particular order)...

1. Learn Arabic to the absolute utmost (learn how to speak it much better and understand different dialects, learn to read and write the formal language fluently, and be able to hold detailed, Biblical conversations).
2. Backpack through Europe and share the gospel with others as I go.
3. Lead as many people to Christ as God allows
4. Get married to a godly guy who fits me... and who will be my best friend. And then have a family with him :P
5. Reach the Muslim world
6. Be able to run 10 miles and not die..
7. Swim with dolphins
8. Be able to ride horses well
9. Pet a wolf
10. Own a husky
11. Never take a sip of alcohol in my life (so far so good)
12. Be able to swim a long distance (and not drown)
13. Learn to dive
14. Learn to do a cartwheel
15. Write a novel that touches lives
16. Write articles that make a difference
17. Climb a really tall tree
18. Read a Jane Austen novel while sitting under a weeping willow tree
19. Go on a missions trip to the Middle East
20. Play the piano regularly in church
21. Run through a corn field while singing random country songs
22. Become so fit that I have a six pack
23. Live in Boston.. even if it's for a short period of time
24. Whale watch
25. Go fishing all day
26. Hike up Mt. Washington
27. Actually learn to ski (and actually know what's going on)
28. Visit Hawaii and watch the surfers
29. Become so good at the piano that I am able to hear pieces on the radio, pick up the chords, and figure out the song on my own.
30. Love in a way that allows people to only see Jesus Christ in me.
31. Spend the Fourth of July and New Years in Boston

Those are just a few, but I'm sure I'll add in some here and there when I think of them.
What are some goals you have before you die?

Insecurities

Insecurities.
Insecurities revolved around the world's definition of beauty.
Insecurities revolved around the world's definition of talent.
Insecurities revolved around the world's definition of love.
Like most teenaged girls and young women, I have been bombarded with such insecurities my entire life. So why bring them up now? Why even write about them when previous blogs I have written have already touched upon areas of these issues? Because I wish to be honest, and I wish go deeper in these insecurities to give God the glory, because after all, when I am weak, then I am strong.

In this specific post, I'm going to just discuss beauty and love, because those are the two that I have been specifically struggling with recently. I also have written about talents in previous blogs, so feel free to scroll back and check those out.

On beauty...

The world pushes its distorted and ungodly images of beauty, talent, and love upon every human being, but especially upon women. We are told that to be beautiful, we must place artificial masks of clay upon our visage to cover our "flawed faces." We are told that to be beautiful, we must dress in a way that not only reveals our bodies to the world, but also flaunts ourselves in a way that idolizes ourselves in our "perfections." We not only become idols to all who may find us beautiful, but we also become idols to ourselves as we pour our energy and time into OURSELVES.
Well, what does GOD say about beauty? What does GOD, the Creator of mankind, nature, and all that exists, tell us about beauty in HIS Word?
1 Peter 3:3-4

³ Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— ⁴ rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

In the eyes of God, the Inventor of beauty and the Mastermind behind all created things,
beauty begins in the heart. God does not see beauty in fake, obnoxious women who parade themselves like peacocks on display. Humility and meekness are qualities of beauty in the eyes of God. God does not see immodesty and vain focus as beauty. Modesty and eyes which are fixed upon God are qualities of beauty in the eyes of God. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing immoral about make-up and jewelry, but when our focus is on such things it is then that we have failed ourselves. When our life depends on an artificial beauty, it is then that we have stripped ourselves down to a shallow, meaningless worth.
1 Samuel 16:7

⁷ But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

Lately I have been struggling with comparing myself to others, especially in areas of physical attractiveness. I can tell you right now that because of this specific issue, Facebook has really become an enlarged problem for me, and if it wouldn't be for staying in touch with people from school, I would immediately delete it (I'm still contemplating the idea). It's true though- people display their photographs of themselves, including myself, wishing to parade their beauty and gain complements from the world. This satisfaction that we gain from these compliments, I can tell you right now, leaves us empty and unfulfilled. This "beauty" is not lasting and will fade with age. This "beauty," as declared by the world, does not define our inner state by any means, but rather can easily twist our hearts to believe lies about ourselves.
The world tells us that beauty revolves around how we perceive ourselves, which in a way is true. Yet the world manages to twist such a truth into a perception which states "I should be the center of attention. To strut around as if I own the world tells those in the world that I am confident and beautiful." The Bible does not by any means support this definition of our self-perception, but rather focuses on how we see ourselves in regards to God. "I am God's creation. He has designed me in His image and has fashioned me to be exactly as I should be. Life is not about me and what I think I should be, but rather about God and who He has created me to be in order to serve Him. It's not about me, it's about HIM."
The reason I felt the need to write about this was not because I see the many girls around me acting this way, but that I myself have struggled with this ungodly perception of myself and self-centered approach to beauty. This is more to me than to anyone else, but if it impacts anyone in a positive way, then to God be the glory.


 On love...

How has the world defined love? Plastered upon the media and every other form of communication used by the world exists the world's blinded definition of love which tells us that our self worth relies in other human beings. We are told that to know love, we receive. We are told that in order to understand love, we must gain both physical and emotional benefits for ourselves. According to the world's standards, love is the passionate emotion we feel for someone.. but that is as deep as it goes. According to GOD, the Creator of emotions and love and life, what is love?
Romans 5:6-8

⁶ For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷ For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. ⁸ But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

The true definition of love is sacrifice. GOD's definition of love is Jesus Christ. So how do we accomplish true love in all it's holiness and beauty? Be Christ-like. How do we know what Christ is like? Read God's Word.
Love is not satisfaction in gaining, but in giving. Love is not what we may receive, but what we may give. Love is not what pleasures we may temporarily feel, but what Christ displays in His loyalty, sacrifice, faithfulness, purity, and absolute humility.
Love is not simply having a boyfriend and all is hunky dory.
Love is being willing to die for this person.
Do I love the world with a sacrificial and selfless love? If I don't, I do not know love.

Lately, I have been struggling with being content in my state of singleness as I see all the "happy couples" in "love" all around me. While many may indeed understand love, I have been forced to evaluate my understanding of love. In this discontentment, I am telling God that He is not enough. In this occasional jealousy I obtain, I am telling God that I do not understand His love and in reality do not love Him with a true love. To understand love I must be first satisfied in my Lord and Savior's true and most precious love ever shown. If I cannot be content and thrilled in the most deep and passionate love to exist, how can I ever even begin to be content with failing, frail, and faltering human love?


Like I said earlier, this blog post is for me. This may have been a little bit too honest, but look at this as an in-depth insight into my own personal journal entry. I choose to post this because I realize that many other young women are most likely struggling with these issues, and maybe, just maybe this will touch someone's heart. Maybe God will use this in someone's life who truly needed this reminder, just as I have needed this reminder.