To the Talented and Planning Awkward Couple- Subco Edition

Oh, awkward couple who I saw while in line for a sub, I promised you a blog post because I did not just see you once, but twice in the span of three days being awkward (both times in the same place, might I add).
[In honor of you, I will scatter various pictures of awkward couples around this blog post].

Flower Power

Same awkwardness, same place, around the same time?
That, my awkward friends, takes talent to accomplish. Or maybe skillful planning.
Possibly a mixture of both.

Planned, talented awkward couple soup.

Adventure-seeking couple

Now, let's take a look at the planned and talent portions of the blog post:

PLANNED:
- Happening to somehow manage to be the exact amount of people in front of me in line (both times).
- Happening to be in line for the same meal both times at around the same time.
- Happening to partake of the same awkward actions both times:

• pinching each other and giggling (pain is so cute)
• rubbing each others sides (sometimes, if you rub their side just right, they might do a trick)
• poking noses (..they may as well throw in some baby talk too)
• stroking hair (I just have nothing to say about this)
• gazing into each others eyes (because what is more romantic than standing in line for a sandwich?)

World's Best Dad

TALENT:
- Happening to be equally awkward both times.
- Happening to be awkward enough to catch my attention both times.
- Happening to not let go of each others hands the entire time
(Seriously though, props to you, folks! That takes intense focus and extreme perseverance. It should be an Olympic sport...)
- Happening to be so awkward both times that you won yourself your very own blog post.

"Everything else is black and white, except for our bond."

So, couple, well done at achieving your own blog post!
You have accomplished both talent and excellent planning. Be proud. Be very proud.

Also, thank you for allowing me to take part in your special moments before I ate, and not after.

If you can't change it, let it go.

Despite the finals coming up, I have been extremely peaceful in regards to all of my school work these days. Thinking about this makes me realize how much God has changed me over the past few years of my life. During the high school days, if it was finals week my heart would be racing, the world would be ending and my nerves would almost be up to par with Mrs. Bennett's (and everyone would reply with a "I have the utmost respect for your nerves. They've been my constant companion these twenty years."). (Please tell me you caught my Pride and Prejudice reference..)

"Have you no consideration for my poor nerves!?"

But as life has passed and I realized how miniscule many of these "stress producers" were, my life has changed quite drastically for the better.

I honestly trace this whole attitude change back to freshman year (of college). I attribute the whole mindset alteration to my lovely roommate at the time, Kaytee. (Yeah, I was that freshman who freaked out about English 101). Every time I would have a meltdown over one of my two page papers (hahah.. now I laugh..), Kaytee would tell me to calm down, get over it and just do it. And she was right. When I would stress about a grade I got and be extremely disappointed, she would tell me that if I couldn't change it, it was time to move on. And she was right. Somewhere along the way, her words clicked in my mind.

"If you can't change it or can't do anything about it, why stress out?"
"All you can do is your best, but don't let this ruin your life."

Back then, I always felt like she was being insensitive and didn't really understand.
Now, I am so thankful for the lesson she taught me and the way it helped me to grow. The Lord has put so many people in my life to teach me seemingly simple lessons and grow me in seemingly simple ways. I do believe that this lesson, however miniscule it seems, changed my perspective on life forever.

Honestly, this year has probably been the most intense year of my college career.. and maybe in my life in general, in regards to my walk with God. Yet, despite the intensity of this year, I was probably the most at peace I have ever been in my life. I owe that all to the Lord for allowing me to let go of that stressful perspective I once had and hold on to His truths and focus on eternity.
The Lord has stretched me in ways I never expected, pushed me in ways I never wanted and used me in ways I never deserved.
I am so thankful to the Lord for every lesson He has put in my life thus far, and I am looking forward to (and to be honest, extremely terrified of) whatever God will bring my way in the future. I am so incredibly encouraged by my sisters and brothers in Christ and the way they challenge my walk with God.

So anyway, I guess the point is, if you're stressed over whatever, ask yourself these things:
1. Can you change it? If so, how? If not, then let it go.
2. Are you in control of this situation? If so, take responsibility and just get it done. If not, give it up.
3. Will this impact eternity? Either way, why are you stressing? God is in control. (which is honestly the answer to everything...)
4. Will this matter one year from now? If not, chill out.

God is still God

Tragedy tends to either bring out the best or to bring out the worst in people. I like to think that most of the time, it brings out the best.

Sometimes I think I know. I think I know life and then something happens. Tragedy. And then I am reminded at how little I really know and how young I truly am. I'm not invincible, but I do believe I forget how fragile the human race truly is. In this fallen world, death and pain is inevitable.

Boston. My home. 

Tragedy happens every day, but when it's close to home, our invincibility factor tends to evaporate. What invincibility? My home-- threatened. My fellow Bostonians-- attacked.

In my own school, young adults facing death.
 
Last night, I went to Faith Helbig's memorial. 
I've never met Faith, and I don't even think I've seen her around really.
We never had a relationship, and she never knew my name.
We didn't have any deep conversations.
We never had a conversation at all.
Despite those minute details, my heart ached for my brothers and sisters in Christ who lost her.

Tragedy.

Whatever happened the day that she died changed my friends' lives forever, and I'll never really understand. I think I know life, but I don't.

As we stood with our unlit candles at the memorial, the wind sorrowfully blowing our hair into the mess that symbolized this situation, my eyes scanned the crowd of tearful college students and staff members who were mourning the death of this 18-year-old girl. Many were her friends, her family, her leadership and her acquaintances, and I am sure that many were like me.
Total strangers, witnessing tragedy.

As I stood there, I mourned for those people experiencing tragedy, and as I mourned, I realized that  
I think I know life, but I don't.
I also realized that despite tragedy and despite my ignorance to life, 
God is still God. He is still good. He is still in control.
He is still GOD.
The same God who parted the Red Sea.
The same God who allowed Job to experience intense trial so that God would be glorified.
The same God who used sinful people to serve Him.
The same God who is so completely holy that Moses had to hide in the cleft of a rock when He passed by and was only able to see the back of God.
The same God who sent His Son to die for the sin of mankind.
The same God who resurrected from the dead.
That's OUR GOD. He is Who He is, and He does not change.

The Lord gives and He takes away and beyond the depravity and feebleness of the human race,
He is GOD.

I don't understand tragedy... yet... but when I do, I strive to remember that GOD IS STILL GOD.

What Gets me Through the Day

The Lord is faithful.
Despite our failures, despite our flaws, He is good, and He dwells within us.

That's what gets me through the day.
Me? I don't get myself through anything. Ever.-- What gets me through is the fact that I belong to an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving God.
The gospel. How easily, as Christians, we forget it. How much we take it for granted.
I was recently reminded of the beauty of the gospel while meeting with my "Big 4" for next year, and when I was reminded, I was convicted.
Details, details, details.
Important details, but often ones that mask the greater issue when not handled with care.
What greater issue? The gospel.
What gospel?

Jesus Christ. My undeserving self. His love and forgiveness. My failure.
I am in need. He is in abundance.
In need of love, and He is love & lavishes it freely.
In need of joy, and He is the source of joy.
In need of identity, and He tells me I am His.
In need of hope, and HE declares my future.
In need of saving, and HE redeems me. 
He is Everything.
The CREATOR, sacrificing for the creation?
Love. 

THE GOSPEL.

That's what get's me through the day.
The Lord is faithful.

"I buy books like most women buy shoes."

Most women struggle to walk away from a pair of stilettos and would much rather walk away with them. In a shopping bag. And with less of a checking account. 
Some women have their infatuation with nails, makeup and clothing.
Brand names, bright colors, glitter and pink.

While I love being feminine and as much as I love buying dresses and other female favorites (apart from shoes.. I hate shoes), I have a slightly different obsession.

Books.
 

The word itself gives me chills. No really, I have goosebumps as I write this. That is the level to which I love books. Classic books, Christian books, books about people, books about places, books about cultures, books about life... books books books. I love books.

Mind you, I have not read every book in my collection. Someday I will, but probably not before I'm finished with college.

I have a lot of books in my collection... and here's why.

I have a problem.
Book sale? I'm there.
$.25 book rack at my library back home? Yes.
Book section at any random store? Never leaving the aisle.
Library? O_O.
Yard sales with books? Making those people rich.
Used book store? In love.

Just as a typical female melts at the sight of a beautiful pair of Prada shoes or vibrant Sephora eye shadow, so do I melt at the sight of a used book.

"Why used? Why not new?" you may wonder.

Used books hold a special place in my heart. The thought of someone else having read that exact book before me is enthralling, their heart captured by the story and their mind quickly formulating a detailed, personal image.
New books, though holding a wonderful smell and smooth feel to the pages, have not been broken in, and there's just something about a book that has been broken in already.
I feel like I should be someone who likes to break in a book, and sometimes I suppose I do.
However, especially if it is a classic book, the older and more used, the better.

My collection is growing which I am thankful for, but until I read all of these books that I have purchased over there (and spent next to nothing on each one.. I know how to bargain hunt, people. I pride myself in this skill), I need to stay out of any sort of discount or used bookstore.