Friday, May 27, 2011

The Blog of a Hurried Maid of Honor..

Cleaning? More? Right now. Ok. I will do that. Why am I even posting on here you ask? Because I feel as though the most interesting blogs are done under pressure and in stressful situations. So here I am, letting out stress on this blog for the world to laugh at. I think the neighbors can hear us freaking out over how much more cleaning we have to do in this house, but that's ok. I wonder if the neighbors think we're slightly insane? Maybe they even believe our house is actually not a house but an asylum. Sometimes I wonder that too.. just kidding. But seriously folks, do you ever wonder what your neighbors can actually hear next door? Think about it.

At least my room is clean. Why did I clean my room first? No one is even coming into my room..
Sometimes I wonder about myself.

Now there is an eerie lull in our house.. I think something is wrong. It's quiet.. too quiet. Normally there would be immense stressing at this time, but instead everyone is going about their business quietly. That also could be a sign that no one is actually even doing anything productive. It's probably the latter. Oh dear. Procrastination is apparently the way to go (spoken by a true college student).Oh wait, barely anyone's home now. This also could be why.

The dwarfs in my closet are even motionless. Yes, there are fantastical beings living in the depths of my room, which I have come to grips with many years ago. At first it was a fire hazard, and then it became a tool to scare all trespassing children. Wow, I really do sound like I came out of an asylum. Maybe I should write a fantasy book about it. I feel like that could become a best-seller, don't you? (Not because I wrote it, but because it involves dwarfs who live in my closet).

Why do I always hear gunshots outside? Do my neighbors have secret civil wars in the woods or is there a shooting range somewhere nearby? I'm not sure how I feel about either. I currently have no emotion towards those ideas actually. That's probably not a good sign, because if I happened to be attacked by some wild hooligan with a gun, I apparently react in a nonchalant and emotionless manner, expressing no fear, but rather confusion. It's both a blessing and a curse to remain in constant confusion, I believe. It's a blessing because one's lifespan probably does not decrease due to constant fear, but rather remains pretty much the same due to lack of understanding on current situations. It's a curse because one is.. well.. clueless.

This is THE most A.D.D. post I have ever written. By far. So THIS is what it's like to be a maid of honor? The mind turns to mush and all energy and thought is put into cleaning the house, making sure the bride-to-be looks pretty and has the least possible stress, keeping everyone else calm, and making sure people are actually being productive. Those may seem like easy tasks, but I can tell you right now that they are not. I am not naturally an extremely calm person to begin with, so this overall situation is like giving a court jester the duty of a right-hand man of the king. Not a good idea.

Alright, so crazy experience from cleaning just now- cockroach. You know it was necessary to clean when you find a cock roach near the trashcan. Bugs don't normally gross me out to the point of wanting to up chuck, but this cock roach really made me feel sick to the depths of my stomach. I felt sort of bad for it, but at the same time couldn't help but relish in the victory over this disgusting creature. I wonder why God made cock roaches.. what is even their purpose? To gross out the world and all its inhabitants? Maybe cock roaches are supposed to be an example of how to treat sin? Get sickened by it and then exterminate it. Weird parallel, but it really makes me wonder. I think God puts really nasty bugs on earth for a reason.. maybe even this particular reason which I just addressed.
Wouldn't be surprised.

Ok.. this is enough scattered blogging. I think its time to show the world my true strangeness in its entirety now.

1 comment:

  1. I didn't think cockroaches lived around here. Yuck!!

    Praying for God's hand in everything tomorrow! You will be a great Maid of Honor! <3

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