Tuesday, May 22, 2012

A Vessel Worth Using

Such an interesting phenomena it is to be home. It's almost like there's a world outside of textbooks and bad cafeteria food. Really though, it's crazy how much of a bubble being at school truly is. I guess everywhere we go eventually becomes some sort of bubble though, whether we like it or not.

I legitimately haven't been this relaxed in such a long time. Don't get me wrong, I normally love the fast pace of college life- going all day with classes, work, school work, friends, events and then repeating it the next day (and the next)- but one (even me) hits a point where it is time to breathe. My extroverted self is officially worn out and going on vacation as an introvert for a while.
The past two weeks (it's crazy to think I've been home for two weeks now... whatt? SLOW DOWN, SUMMER, SLOW DOWN), I have spent time with numerous friends and relatives, began two books so far (The Way of the Shepherd and The Sound and the Fury), played lots of piano pieces, have eaten tons of great food, watched some of my favorite movies and most importantly spent much time reading God's Word, praying and pondering what God is about to bring me into later this summer. I'm terrified- I admit it. It's ok though- God's called me there, so He's got my back.
It's pretty incredible though. I have never felt so much peace over any decision than this one. I have never been this penetrated by anything really, nor have I ever felt so clearly any sort of calling such as this. Temporary or not. Nothing really seems that impossible anymore...
I guess I should have known that though, since my God is a God of the impossible.

I think about where God has brought be from and where He is taking me now, and I cannot help but wonder what crazy places He will lead me to in the future. It's exciting, to say the least. I never really understand why trusting God is as difficult as it is since He never fails, knows everything and well, ya know, LOVES me, yet somehow I always have a hard time letting go. Thankfully, God is slowly softening my heart towards His will, whether I fully want it yet or not.
Waiting. I have come to the conclusion that waiting is what gets me.
Waiting to see who God is creating me to be- why He's building certain skills in my life.
Waiting to see the big picture.
Waiting.
I recently have come to the realization that we are never truly waiting though. We are simply living. This is life. It is growth. It is developing into who God is having us to be.
It is being formed by the potter into a vessel worth being used

It's never really waiting- it's simply watching while living.

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