The Room

As I sit in my bedroom at home, its history haunts me, reminding me of who I've been and how God has changed me. I remember when I moved into this room-- eight years old and completely unaware of the utterly different, yet curiously similar girl that would sleep in the room thirteen years later.
The pictures on the wall have hung there for about nine years, some for longer and some shorter.
On the wall to the left of my closet hangs the wolf poster I designed in 6th grade (that was the class project that sparked my love for the crazy beasts) and a variety of other wolf pictures. To some, it may be an odd fascination, but I love wolves, nonetheless. Another glimpse of the nerdy-self.

The figures on my dresser have collected there over the years, my 1st grade softball trophy being the oldest member of the collection. On one side of my mirror hangs my kindergarten graduation tassel, and on the other side hangs my high school graduation cap.
The miniature piano music box given to me by my piano teacher of eight years sits on the dresser as well, and I remember the many frustrating, yet absolutely incredible years of piano lessons. I think of how my piano teacher didn't just teach me how to play an instrument but how to live a song. She always reminded me of why I should play and Who I should play for, and I haven't forgotten.

Each poster and picture on the wall has a memory and a background. In high school, I hung the 1 Peter 3:3-4 poster above my mirror to daily remind myself of the beauty that lasts in life. Pictures of my family all around my room, because I am blessed by them. Pictures of childhood friends scattered here and there, whether I'm still friends with those folks or not. Why I do keep the pictures? To remind me that friends come and go, but the LORD remains. Posters of childhood fandom and adulthood realizations, Bible verses that have especially made a difference in crucial points in my life and things with memories. I hung John 14:27 at the end of my bed during the times of consecutive nightmares, and it reminds me every night of the peace in Jesus Christ.

The bookshelf that holds many of my favorite classics and even more of my unread, literature goals. I haven't conquered the whole mini-library yet, but someday it will happen (although the books constantly seem to multiply). Books from my childhood sit up there-- the ones that sparked my love for story-telling.

The memory chest is a newer addition to my room, but one of my favorite parts of it. When we found it in the attic, I knew it would be in my life for a while. No matter how unexciting or unenchanting it's outward appearance may be, it's inward contents are priceless. Old journals, even older pictures, little artifacts that remind me of the people that have come and gone through my life, glimpses of myself from the past and dreams for myself in the future. Few secrets, but many stories.

Such a little room, yet so much history of my small life.

This summer, I plan to move to my sister's old room.
Maybe it's for the extra space. Maybe it's for the change. Maybe it's for both.
Maybe it's to remind myself that a room with a past does not define me.
It will be hard to say goodbye to this room, but it will always be my room.
No one knows it like I do.

It's time to move on.

Summer Goals

I have a lot of goals this summer. 
Most of them involve continuing things I've always liked to do but don't have a lot of time to do at school (such as reading as many books as possible, playing the piano, exercising, etc.), but some involve things I haven't really had the chance to try (painting, getting into running, writing a book, interviewing people for my new single's blog).

And then there's the appendages to those goals. 
For example, with my piano playing, I don't want to just play piano, but I also want to really dig into music theory (dangerous, but possible) and learn how to play better by ear (I'm a hardcore sight reader).
Or, with reading, I don't want to just read, I want to analyze, soak in, and emerge myself.
With exercising... well, I want to actually exercise and not say that I will exercise.
With painting, I want to paint something I'm proud of and not give up after a bad painting.
With running, I want to be able to 5 miles like it's nothing (that may seem like nothing for you athletes out there, but for this girl, that's a pretty lofty goal).
With writing a book, I want to finish it. It doesn't have to be incredible, it just has to have an ending, unlike everything remotely book-like that I've begun. By "finish it," I mean at least know where it will go, whether it's actually finished by the end of the summer or not (I definitely doubt it will be done by then).
With the "Embrace the Single" blog, I really want to make the most of it and use it to minister to people. I want it to be a testimony of all of the single Christians that I can get in contact with who are willing to share a piece of themselves so that others may be encouraged. I don't exactly know where it will go, but I pray it will go somewhere useful.

In addition, I will be working as a Production Intern this summer at a local radio station.
I am so ridiculously excited, and I have already set some goals for myself in that internship.

1. Do the best that I know how to do so that be a good steward of the gifts God has provided me with.
2. Attempt to remember everything that I learned during my Radio Practicums..
3. Make friends in my area!
4. Share Jesus & show people God's love
5. Gain lots of experience and hopefully score a job through this internship! 

Other goals this summer?

• Go to local events and activities (be a part of the community)
• Spend lots of wonderful time with my family & nephew (BABY!!)
• Spend time with cousins!
• Be involved in my church.
• Dig into books of the Bible and meditate on them.
• Find a job.
• Spend time with my grandmothers <3
• Try to go play piano for those at the Assisted Living home in the town next door (I miss them!)
• Get rid of things I don't need.
• Make new friends =)
• Find people to minister to
• Try to cook more? (....we'll see...)
• Make the most of every moment!

I can't wait to see what the LORD does these next couple of months!

Fried Brain Tomatoes

It's been an intense year, but my classes have finally come to a close.
And by finally, I mean, "Wow, that one year of classes felt like about forty years in the wilderness."
No really. I read Exodus for half of this semester, and it all started to make sense.
(Please realize that this is all exaggeration.. it really was not that bad...)

I think back to last semester when I thought News Writing was a lot of work and then I laugh as I think about Investigative Reporting this semester. But it's over. And I nailed the class, so I'm ok.
I can tell you right now that I have never been more satisfied with or proud of an A in my entire life.

...I literally just stopped thinking for a few minutes. Just now. That's how exhausted my mind is. I'm not even sure how words are coming out of my mouth right now.. or out of my fingers. I don't even know right now.

Even beyond school, this has been one of those physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually taxing years of my life. I haven't really even had time to process it all.
When I do though.. oh be ready. It will be written about.
I've already begun the documenting process of life as an RA. So far all I have is how I first got pulled up to RA while in Lebanon (those of you who have followed my blog got to be a part of all of that craziness).
I'm not sure where to begin, but I suppose that's my project for the 13 hour drive home on Sunday.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it when it's done.
Probably just keep it in the chest in my room with all of the rest of my million journals. And maybe I'll reference it when I need to know how to deal with interesting people or really bizarre situations that involve people in bathrobes.
That's another story for another time.

This year. My mind is just mush from it all.
I'm convinced that everyone and anyone who has met me within the last month of school thinks I'm an air-headed, mindless individual.
Sorry, folks. If only I could somehow explain to you how completely fried my being is, then I would.
Actually, let me try.
My being is so fried that walking to the bathroom takes mental motivation.
My being is so fried that I forget to chew my food and simply swallow (no, this is not a joke).
My being is so fried that I forgot my last name the other day.
My being is so fried that I become even more awkward that I already am.
My being is so fried that the South's chicken dishes would be put to shame.
My being is so fried that I could pass for dead. But I'm not dead, so that's good.

I long for the day when I can think abstractly again. I see that day soon, but it hides beneath a canopy shaped like New England. And once I am rejuvenated in all that is Northern, I will be able to face another year in the South with strength and swift movement.

I'm just going to stop typing...

Harbingers that bring on playlists and summer reading

Ah. Packing in May. The real harbinger of summer. The suitcase comes out and the summer music comes on. I may even wear sunglasses indoors for such an occasion.

Today, as I began the packing spree with 9 days left until I head home for the summer, reality actually set in. For a while there, I felt like I would be here forever and even then, it's always hard to imagine being anywhere other than where I am at that moment.

So anyway, as I packed, I thought to myself, "Self, you should make a Summer 2013 playlist."
And then I responded to myself and said, "Self, I think that is a brilliant idea."
I'm feeling the folk/indy/alternative scene this summer, with some other favorites thrown in there.
...I'm not a hipster-- I promise. They just have really good taste in music.

I have yet to come up with the full playlist, but here's what I have in mind so far: 

1. "Flower Flower" The Vespers

 

2. "Ho Hey" The Lumineers
3. "Safe and Sound" The Capitals
4.  "Gold on the Ceiling" The Black Keys
5.  "Hello" The True Star
6. "On Top of the World" Imagine Dragons
7. "Jump Into the Fog" The Wombats
8. "Don't Wait for Me" Josh Garrels
9. "Between the Raindrops" Lifehouse & Natasha Bedingfield
10. "Home" Phillip Phillips
11. "Oceans" Hillsong United
12. "Better Now" The Vespers
13. "Charlie Brown" Coldplay
14. "After All (Holy)" David Crowder Band
15."Stars" Grace Potter

So that's all I've got for now, but I'm sure this playlist will grow extensively as the summer goes on. If you have any ideas, feel free to contribute. Or if you have any fantastic ideas for playlist names, list away.

So, then this morning I thought to myself, "Self, you should come up with a summer reading list."
And I responded to myself, "Self, that is such a brilliant idea."
So here's what I have so far (click the titles of the book to see a brief synopsis)...

1. Fatherless by: James Dobson

2. Blue Like Jazz by: Donald Miller
3. Great Expectations by: Charles Dickens
(I find it atrocious that I have not yet read this classic Dickens book, but I figure it's better now than never. I just found bought an antique copy for $3 the other day! Also, I need some more Dickens in my life).
4. The Great Gatsby (I want to reread it before I see the movie!)
5. The Picture of Dorian Gray by: Oscar Wilde (I'm currently about half-way through, but I never got the chance to finish it during school).
6. The Count of Monte Cristo by: Alexandre Dumas
7. At least two of the Agatha Christie collection of books I have on my bookshelf in my room. I have yet to read one entire book by her.

...Ok honestly, I'm looking through books online that I want to read, and there are just too many wonderfully written books in the world. And of course some not so wonderfully written.
Either way, there is no way I am reading all of them this summer.
So for now, this list will do.

Do you think I can read them all despite my snail's pace reading habits?

To the Talented and Planning Awkward Couple- Subco Edition

Oh, awkward couple who I saw while in line for a sub, I promised you a blog post because I did not just see you once, but twice in the span of three days being awkward (both times in the same place, might I add).
[In honor of you, I will scatter various pictures of awkward couples around this blog post].

Flower Power

Same awkwardness, same place, around the same time?
That, my awkward friends, takes talent to accomplish. Or maybe skillful planning.
Possibly a mixture of both.

Planned, talented awkward couple soup.

Adventure-seeking couple

Now, let's take a look at the planned and talent portions of the blog post:

PLANNED:
- Happening to somehow manage to be the exact amount of people in front of me in line (both times).
- Happening to be in line for the same meal both times at around the same time.
- Happening to partake of the same awkward actions both times:

• pinching each other and giggling (pain is so cute)
• rubbing each others sides (sometimes, if you rub their side just right, they might do a trick)
• poking noses (..they may as well throw in some baby talk too)
• stroking hair (I just have nothing to say about this)
• gazing into each others eyes (because what is more romantic than standing in line for a sandwich?)

World's Best Dad

TALENT:
- Happening to be equally awkward both times.
- Happening to be awkward enough to catch my attention both times.
- Happening to not let go of each others hands the entire time
(Seriously though, props to you, folks! That takes intense focus and extreme perseverance. It should be an Olympic sport...)
- Happening to be so awkward both times that you won yourself your very own blog post.

"Everything else is black and white, except for our bond."

So, couple, well done at achieving your own blog post!
You have accomplished both talent and excellent planning. Be proud. Be very proud.

Also, thank you for allowing me to take part in your special moments before I ate, and not after.