Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Unrequited Love

To be completely honest, the position of RA has quickly (and easily) sunk me into a place of loneliness. To constantly pour love and care into everyone else but not be loved and cared for in return can become extremely draining, especially when that is expected to be the norm for you. I think I understand now what it's like to be a mom.

I know I'm not a mom and don't truly know what it all consists of, but I have been thinking about how amazing mothers are- mine in particular. Just like the position I'm in now, mothers are expected to love and to give. As a child, I always just assumed my mother would cook meals for me, help me with whatever it is I needed help with at the exact moment I needed help, love me when I needed to be loved and listen to all of my problems. Even throughout my teenager years and early adulthood I've had this sort of mindset- until this week. It's a painful thing to be put under those expectations and yet not receive any of those same luxuries in return. Maybe this is overly sentimental, but I truly appreciate my mother now. Mom, thank you for loving me and taking care of me even when you were the one who needed to be loved and taken care of. You are genuinely a priceless jewel.
On a grander scale, I think I've been starting to hit the surface of understanding God's love for us. How hurt he must be when He unconditionally loves us and ultimately sacrificed everything so that we could be set free for something we didn't deserve and don't appreciate.
Salvation. So incredibly under-appreciated.
Jesus, thank you for loving me even when I don't live my life in a way that loves you. I can't even fully comprehend the love that Jesus Christ has for us, but I think He's teaching me the basics of His love. Unrequited love. One-sided sacrifice. Care that is given and not received.

So to actually get to my point...  
Jesus Christ did not love expecting something in return.
Jesus Christ came to love and save because He is GOOD.
Jesus Christ healed, but didn't expect anyone to dab his gruesome, bloody wounds after He was beaten and nailed to a cross.
Jesus Christ just LOVED. He just did, because that's who He is.
Jesus ministered to people because He felt compassion, not because He expected them to care when He was hanging on a tree for their sins and abandoned by all of his friends.
He knew how He would be treated in the end. He knew, and yet He still LOVED and CARED.

As believers, we are not called to love with expectations. We are just called to LOVE.
We are not called to care for others so that maybe in some alternative universe others would also care for us. We are just called to CARE. We're not called to expect, but to pour out. I am not responsible for the way anyone else loves (or lacks love), but I am, however, responsible to fulfill what Christ calls me to do.
Love won't always be reciprocated and care won't always be requited, but that's ok.
The only one who can truly fill us up is Jesus Christ, and that's thing- He always does. We are never in it alone. Ever. We never have to love out of our own strength, because HE is our strength. Without Him, we know no love.

Jesus Christ is our endless supply of love.

1 comment: