Children. Misunderstood and underrated.
This summer, I have realized how completely clueless adults are with children. So many teens and adults talk down to children as if they "can't possibly understand," leaving the kids believing that it's true. Kids are often shoved under the rug, or on the flip side, completely left to do whatever it is they want to do, without any protection or teaching.
I'm no parent, so I'm not really talking about raising children (and don't really have a right to). I'm mostly thinking of adults in general. Teachers, leaders, how adults treat random children in public, etc.
How often we forget that these children will one day be adults, and in their adulthood, they will carry with them the lessons that WE have taught them. They will remember the way they were treated and they will reflect it on the other people in their lives. People wonder why children fear adulthood and "never want to grow up"? It's because they fear us. They fear who they might become and what love for life they might lose. These little humans watch our every move, crave our affection and just want somebody to be proud of them. They want to look forward to adulthood, and that can only happen if they are given a reason to look forward. If they have seen adults who appreciate life and appreciate them, they have been given hope for their future.
You know all those discourteous and insensitive adults in your life? The ones who cut you in line and yell at their cashiers? They were children once, and something or someone in their life told them that acting like that was ok. Some may have suffered belittlement as children, and as a result, feel that it is their time to belittle others. Some may have never been taught to "do to others as you would have them do to you," and as a result, see the world as their throne. Whatever the reason, they were impacted in some way as a child, and now they have graduated from unruly child to unruly adult. From bitter child to bitter adult.
Think back to your childhood. For me, I longed for the affections of those that were older than me. I admired them, I mimicked them and I wanted them to be proud of me. Everything I did in public, I did for some sort of sense of approval. I think of all the adults in my life growing up....
Parents. I was blessed to have parents who encouraged me in my endeavors and who disciplined me when I needed to be corrected. I wouldn't have believed in myself, understood right from wrong or learned to really see and love other people if it weren't for the instruction of my incredible parents.
Teachers. Oh the teachers I've had in my life. I've had good ones, I've had great ones and you can better believe I've had bad ones. In elementary, I had some teachers who so favored the "popular," "pretty" children that I found myself believing that I was worthless. Those same teachers made me dread school, hate learning and despise who I was and what I was not. Then, I had some fantastic teachers who taught me lessons I've never forgotten, encouraged me when no one else would and showed me who I could be if I allowed it. They saw me as more than "just a kid," corrected my negative traits so that I indeed recognize them as negative, and took the time to help cultivate the positive traits I did have. My teachers have been some of the most influential people in my life. The bad and the good. The horrible and the fantastic.
My friend's parents. This is sort of a weird one, but my friend's parents did in fact have an influence on me. I had some friends whose parents appreciated my friendship in their child's life, which in turn, encouraged me to be a better friend and take responsibility for my actions. And then there were some parents who looked down on me, seeing me to be unworthy of befriending their child. When I was in 3rd grade, I was told once by my friend's parent that I "made her sick to her stomach when she saw me" because of my "bad attitude." I don't think adults understand the toll that takes on a child. "Am I really that disgusting?" I would ask myself. "Is her daughter really that superior to me?" I still fight to release any bitter feelings towards those type of parents, and sometimes I still ask those same questions. I'm not saying it's their fault, but I am saying that it has influenced the fact that those questions even creep into my mind.
Those are just a few adults that played key roles in my lives, but good and bad, they all have something in common. I remember them, and I think of them from time to time.
All I know is, I do NOT want to be one of "the horrible" adults in any child's life. I would much rather be that adult who, years later, they still positively remember and cherish. Even in the correction and discipline, what they should remember about us is that we CARED enough to correct them. That we LOVED them enough to build them up.
This summer, I have realized how completely clueless adults are with children. So many teens and adults talk down to children as if they "can't possibly understand," leaving the kids believing that it's true. Kids are often shoved under the rug, or on the flip side, completely left to do whatever it is they want to do, without any protection or teaching.
I'm no parent, so I'm not really talking about raising children (and don't really have a right to). I'm mostly thinking of adults in general. Teachers, leaders, how adults treat random children in public, etc.
How often we forget that these children will one day be adults, and in their adulthood, they will carry with them the lessons that WE have taught them. They will remember the way they were treated and they will reflect it on the other people in their lives. People wonder why children fear adulthood and "never want to grow up"? It's because they fear us. They fear who they might become and what love for life they might lose. These little humans watch our every move, crave our affection and just want somebody to be proud of them. They want to look forward to adulthood, and that can only happen if they are given a reason to look forward. If they have seen adults who appreciate life and appreciate them, they have been given hope for their future.
You know all those discourteous and insensitive adults in your life? The ones who cut you in line and yell at their cashiers? They were children once, and something or someone in their life told them that acting like that was ok. Some may have suffered belittlement as children, and as a result, feel that it is their time to belittle others. Some may have never been taught to "do to others as you would have them do to you," and as a result, see the world as their throne. Whatever the reason, they were impacted in some way as a child, and now they have graduated from unruly child to unruly adult. From bitter child to bitter adult.
Think back to your childhood. For me, I longed for the affections of those that were older than me. I admired them, I mimicked them and I wanted them to be proud of me. Everything I did in public, I did for some sort of sense of approval. I think of all the adults in my life growing up....
Parents. I was blessed to have parents who encouraged me in my endeavors and who disciplined me when I needed to be corrected. I wouldn't have believed in myself, understood right from wrong or learned to really see and love other people if it weren't for the instruction of my incredible parents.
Teachers. Oh the teachers I've had in my life. I've had good ones, I've had great ones and you can better believe I've had bad ones. In elementary, I had some teachers who so favored the "popular," "pretty" children that I found myself believing that I was worthless. Those same teachers made me dread school, hate learning and despise who I was and what I was not. Then, I had some fantastic teachers who taught me lessons I've never forgotten, encouraged me when no one else would and showed me who I could be if I allowed it. They saw me as more than "just a kid," corrected my negative traits so that I indeed recognize them as negative, and took the time to help cultivate the positive traits I did have. My teachers have been some of the most influential people in my life. The bad and the good. The horrible and the fantastic.
My friend's parents. This is sort of a weird one, but my friend's parents did in fact have an influence on me. I had some friends whose parents appreciated my friendship in their child's life, which in turn, encouraged me to be a better friend and take responsibility for my actions. And then there were some parents who looked down on me, seeing me to be unworthy of befriending their child. When I was in 3rd grade, I was told once by my friend's parent that I "made her sick to her stomach when she saw me" because of my "bad attitude." I don't think adults understand the toll that takes on a child. "Am I really that disgusting?" I would ask myself. "Is her daughter really that superior to me?" I still fight to release any bitter feelings towards those type of parents, and sometimes I still ask those same questions. I'm not saying it's their fault, but I am saying that it has influenced the fact that those questions even creep into my mind.
Those are just a few adults that played key roles in my lives, but good and bad, they all have something in common. I remember them, and I think of them from time to time.
All I know is, I do NOT want to be one of "the horrible" adults in any child's life. I would much rather be that adult who, years later, they still positively remember and cherish. Even in the correction and discipline, what they should remember about us is that we CARED enough to correct them. That we LOVED them enough to build them up.
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